Confessions of an AFC



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PostPosted: Tue Jul 27, 2010 9:09 am 
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Ok. Its been a while again, so time for update.

At first, I have to say that one of my problems is that when I´m getting interested in a girl, and get something going on with her, I have zero interest to game other women. I would have had a chance to meet a girl (HB8) in another town last week but I didn´t go there because there was a possibility that I might be able to see my current "target" in the same day. This is obviously lowering my chances to get laid and possibly also lowering my chances of getting in a relationship with a girl.

Anyway, since my last update I have seen this girl who i have been talking about twice. Both times in night clubs and both times its been kissing and and very hard kinoing basically ALL the time. Its been fantastic. She has said that she is attracted to me at least 4 times now.

Last time we were out she let me grab her tits and ass and she put her hand under my t-shirt and was touching all over my body. When we left the bar, she basically agreed to fuck me. The only problem was that we didnt have a place. Im currently staying at my parent´s because Im on summer holiday and my own apartment is in different town. She said that if I can find out a place where we can go, she will come with me. I suggested her place but she said strictly "no" many times because she has her roommates home. I said that we can be quiet when we have sex but she said that she doesnt like that and she can be "pretty loud sometimes". We sort of agreed that next weekend we will finish the job because she is moving to a different place and also my parents house is going to be empty for a week.

So, its looking pretty good at the moment. I´m obviously very confident now of f-closing this pretty thing this weekend. I can hardly wait.

Since our last meeting we have been chatting in msn and texting some and last evening she called me asked if I was downtown. She would liked to meet me briefly as she was on her way to her friend. I said that I wasnt downtown but we could see somewhere "tomorrow".

So today, she said she is going to beach with her friend and I said that I had been planning to ask her to come with me to beach today too. She said the time and place where and when they are going and I said something like " Maybe I will join you girls ".

Given the situation, do you think I should go there because she had planned to go there with her friend. Since we have already "agreed to have sex" next weekend, I dont wanna do anything AFC to blow this thing up. So if I go there, I think i need to pay some attention to her friend too. To show her I´m a cool guy because girls really value their friend´s opinions on guys.


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 03, 2010 11:40 am 
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What a disappointment, I´m so mad and sad at the moment.

I met her at the beach. Not the day that I mentioned in my last update but a day after that. She called me that morning and said that she was going to the beach with her friend and if i wanted to join I should call her. Later on that day she called me again and said that she had had a couple of drinks and that they are still at the beach. She didnt tell me straight to come there but anyway I thought it was fairly obvious that she wanted me to go there. So about an hour later I call her and say that if they are still there, Im coming over. She said that she has to go to a shop before they close and will be able to be there only like 45mins. I said thats ok and went there.

I met her and her friend was there too. They arranged so that her friend went to the shop for her and we stayed at the beach just the two of us. I thought it went pretty smoothly. We were kissing a lot again and laying next to each other. Lots of long eye contacts and good chat. She also brought up the subject of my place being empty for the weekend. She suggested that we should hook up for our sex session on friday day-time but I said that my place wont be empty by then. I said that we should do it maybe like saturday evening but she said that "she doesnt want to spend a night in place which she doesnt know". That sounded a bit weird to me. Anyway, then she said that lets see, maybe we do it on weekend or monday. We stayed there for almost 2 hours then she said she needed to go over her friend. I was there by car so I gave her a ride to her friend´s place. While we were waiting her friend to come to open the door we were kissing in the car passionately. Then her friend came and she stood out of the car and waved me goodbye.

After that, almost COMPLETE FREEZEOUT. I tried to call her the next day and she didnt pick up. The day after that we had a very brief msn chat and i sensed her reluctance to speak to me. The same night i texted her if she was downtown so we could meet up but she said she was busy packing (she was going to move that weekend). That text conversation ended with my message which had a clear sexual vibe and reference. She didnt answer that.

The next day she texted me and asked me if I was hangover. I answered and asked if she had gotten her moving done. She replied that she had and was now probably too tired to do anything and also in hangover because she had been drinking with her friends after she had moved. I suggested that i know some cures to hangover and invited her to come with me to see a band downtown. She didnt answer to that text. Actually, before asking her to join me to see the band I tried to call her and she didnt pick up.

Then one day went completely without interaction (sunday). Yesterday she started a conversation with me in msn and said that she was going to visit her hometown tomorrow (which is abroad) and she is going to stay there 3 weeks. I had been aware that she was going to leave there this week but we hadnt been discussing which day. So it was complete surprise to me that she was going to leave that day and WITHOUT US HAVING SEX. I ended the msn conversation very quickly, said that I needed to go.

Later on I called her and said that I would like to come and say bye to her in person before she leaves. She said that she didnt want that, because she didnt want to become sad but she said that it was nice that I called her.

Anyway, here I stand now. Maybe I tried to press her too hard during the last few days. But after that meeting in the beach (which i thought went really well) she just turned very cold and distant.

Could it be possible that she didnt want to get too attached to me because she is going to be away for 3 weeks OR do you think its gameover completely?

This is so frustrating. All my past relationships with girls who I have been really into have come to an almost similar end. Everything seems to be going well and then all of a sudden, she just freezes me out. When I least expect it.

Well, for the next 3 weeks I will be sarging other girls as much as I can.

Best regards,
Zadaaam


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 03, 2010 11:55 am 
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Well. A couple things I can think of here. First thing, when sex is on the table with a new girl, you usually have to snap it up while it's on offer. Making plans to do it later never seems to work out because the girl will no longer be aroused and get cold feet and feel like a whore for planning it. That's my experience. It's entirely possible she's just cock-teasing you, too. It is pretty strange that she'd trust you enough to have sex with you, but not enough to do it when it's dark out.

It sounds like you got cheated, regardless of the reason. Maybe one reason she doesn't want to get attached is because that three weeks she's planning on leaving might turn into years. That happened with my last ex and she avoided me like crazy before she left because she wasn't sure she was coming back (she didn't). I got over it, you will too. Don't close her out completely and see what happens in three weeks.

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PostPosted: Wed Aug 04, 2010 9:29 am 
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well when she was in the mind frame of having sex you shouldve made it happen.... be the man and take her somewhere,anywhere for the f close!
If i was a girl and a guy planned sex with me...i would be damn turned off the next day i woke up or thought about it.It needs to happen IN the moment! :roll:

So i agree...see what happens in 3 weeks but your blue balls have tought you a lesson - pull the trigger when she hints at it.

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PostPosted: Wed Aug 04, 2010 1:46 pm 
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Yeah, there's always a place. You damn teenagers will mate anywhere.


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PostPosted: Thu Aug 05, 2010 8:32 am 
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Don't wait for her to look at you before you talk. Make two quick steps up to her (like a basketball lay up), don't hesitate, and say one sentence to her quickly, but in a quiet voice like talking to a friend. I am getting better at opening, and I have been told not to wait and hesitate, come up and like demand her attention by talking forcefully.


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PostPosted: Thu Aug 05, 2010 6:48 pm 
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What do you guys think about this, when the girl says she does not want you to think she is easy, whatever else they throw at you and you reply with:

"I like a challenge" or something along the lines.

Or is that too cocky?


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PostPosted: Thu Aug 05, 2010 8:48 pm 
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It's not really that cocky, but it seems like you're making it a competition for her to be difficult. Sex should be coming together, not one person trying to beat the other. It always catches me by surprise when a girl tells me this because I don't expect it from girls that are over 21. My 'usual' response is, "I don't think you're easy. It's taking much longer with you than it usually does, but I don't mind taking my time with you." Not a great answer because the girl typically thinks I sleep with sluts after that. In my experience, the girl doesn't even mean what she says here, she's just not comfortable enough to have sex with you yet and this is a convenient excuse you really can't beat. Last time a girl told me this, she was actually just trying to buy time so she wouldn't scare me off by telling me she had an STD, FYI.


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PostPosted: Thu Aug 12, 2010 7:06 pm 
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Sorry for long pause in updates.

Seems that you were right, Minsok: It seems that she will be away longer than 3 weeks, because she has problems with getting a new passport. It could be that she is away for months. So, I guess that was it. I think I have to try to forget about her since I dont think it is possible to keep up the attraction for that long period. On the other hand, I´m STILL into this girl so maybe I will try to keep chatting with her every once in a while online. I just dont know.

Well, I´m going to a rock festival in another town tomorrow. I hope this will get my mind off her completely. Anyway, I will post a report from the festival in the beginning of next week. Until then, have good time, everybody!


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PostPosted: Thu Aug 12, 2010 9:50 pm 
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Yeah. The ex I was talking about that left town has family here and will probably come to visit occasionally. For those occasions, I kept her phone number just in case I'm single when she's in town. I texted her like one time in the past two months and I'll text more frequently as she gets closer to visiting in October. In the mean time, I've been whoring it out just like always and I recommend you do the same. DO NOT put a lot of time or effort into this because there's a high chance nothing will come out of it. Maybe a webcam chat every other week or so.


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PostPosted: Sun Aug 15, 2010 8:56 pm 
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Just read this thread tonight and really enjoyed it. Great stories from both you guys.
I was so sad to read the post with the freeze out. It does happen though, and you can only see it as a learning experience. Because of it happening, you are now one step closer to success.

I think you did ok with this girl. She obviously liked you, she let you get away with a few things girls usually wouldn't.
The fact that she was up for the 'planned' sex for so long says a lot. But then she kept making lame excuses....I'm not sure what's going through her head there.

Frankly the sex plan bothered me. The kiss close was amazing, because it sounded like you'd failed on your first attempt and she wasn't interested. You did extremely well not acknowledging the failure to her. Well done. It's often all to easy to start trying to explain yourself, then you look like a loser.

It was great that you were meeting up a few times, kissing, getting the intimacy on. I loved reading about it.

Now for what I didn't like: when you mentioned the after party, she snagged you when she said that 'I know where that leads'
I'm great at this sort of thing. This is the opportunity to turn the whole game on its head.
When she accuses you of trying to propagate sex, in this way, you can make out like SHE is the one suggesting it.
So, in this instance:
'I know where that leads' You can say - 'Please, tell me. I'm all ears' in a totally innocent tone. This forces her to verbalise it rather than just suggest, which will make her doubt herself.
Even better, you can say 'Oh please! I'm not that easy'
Or 'Very sure of yourself, aren't you!'
':-O I'm not that kind of guy'
Or my personal favourite: 'Psh! Well....now we all know what YOU'VE been thinking about.

Every time I've used that line I've got laid soon after. It makes her realise she HAS been thinking about sex, suggests you might not have been and changes the 'chase' dynamic in her head.

After this you NEVER mention sex. NEVER. For a guy, sex should be suggested only through subtlety, body language, and momentum in intimacy. Sex should just happen. As others have said - start planning it and she'll feel like a hooker. Sex should only happen when you both feel sexy. Guys get that feeling as soon as he thinks hes got a chance, for girls it's a slow escalation, but if you know this, and you roll with it, you can blow her mind, and fuck her far, far sooner than she thinks she's going to let you.
This is not hard. There is no technique to this. It's simply allowing things to go at her pace rather than yours. The more you're obvious about sex, the more turned off she'll get.
Having been a horny teenager (and a horny twenty-something) I've been through all that bad stuff, so I know what doesn't work all too well, also.

The other thing you did wrong, and i think you know this, is that you should've continued to meet other women. It's important not to restrict yourself to the one. Dependancy is a big mojo killer for both men and women. I HATE when women are dependant on me, they hate when I'm too needy, and I've slept with some women simply because they knew I'd slept with someone else and they were jealous.

Women don't like it when you are meeting other women, and they'll tell you so. But this doesn't mean that it doesn't attract them. It really does. Never show off, never deliberately let her see you meeting other women, but if they do know it can be helpful. But mainly it props you up by allowing you to think 'if I blow this out, at least I've got options B and C up my sleeve. It allows you to be just that bit cooler, and if and when it does all go tits up, as in this situ, then all is not lost.

Keep it up my friend. You're clearly learning well.


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 16, 2010 3:37 am 
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Yeah, you sound better off than most AFC's. Nice job, man.

Two big things:

1.Logistics. They will fuck you every time. Always have a plan. Either that, or get really fucking good at thinking on the fly. Next time just think of a place and lead her there, pin her up against the wall and start making out. Sounds cheesy, but it's the kind of dominance that women enjoy.

If it's summer, you can find a nice spot outside. If in winter... well, preferably your logistics are in order, or a bathroom may be your best option.

2.Lack of sexual tension. You sound like you get strong attraction, but escalating it to the sexual level has always been a sticking point for me as well. You might consider checking out Sinn's basic Seduction Roadmap, which serves well as a loose guide.

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PostPosted: Fri Nov 26, 2010 9:11 pm 
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Hi everyone! I´m back again. I dont really know why i stopped posting some time ago, I guess I had too much stuff going on in my life. Anyway, I want to say that I´m extremely grateful for all the comments that I´ve received in this thread. I hope I keep getting replies now too as I plan to start updating this regularly :)

Its been ages since my last post but nothing too radical has happened in my life. I´m still looking to improve my skills with women and thats why I want to start posting in this thread on regular basis.

The girl that was my main focus while I was posting in the summer is now definitely out of my life, she has come back from her trip but we haven´t really been in contact, mainly because she has not even once initiated a contact with me. I just might give it a one last shot by asking her if she wants to go and have a coffee and catch up some day but I seriously doubt that I will.

Biggest "achievement" since my last post has been a F-close from a bar 3 weeks ago. I just went out with my friends and noticed a girl alone in a bar. I decided to go to talk to her and opened her with some random line. We talked for like 20 mins and then I asked her to come to my place to after party to have a glass of wine. She agreed and once we get to my place i poured her a glass of wine and said that I wanted to play her my favorite song from Youtube. So we went to my room and she sat on my bed and i put the song on and sit down next to her. We start making out and have sex. That whole pick-up process with this girl was so easy and fluent that it really gave me a little confident boost :) I would say that she was a HB7.5, a very cute girl. I havent met her since because we have both been busy. I asked if she would like to join me for a coffee some day but she replied that she was very busy in the near future and would not have time for it. I´m not really sure if I should ask her again next week maybe. It is a bit problematic because its then been over 3 weeks since we met and the situation has definitely gone a bit "cold". Anyway, maybe I will text her next week, ask how she´s doing or something.

The thing that I am most excited about at the moment is that I might me going out next week with a HB10, I mean it, a perfect ten, a way way way out of my league...

I met this HB10 first time like 2 months ago in a party. We talked a lot but I was pretty drunk by the end of the night and I recall doing some horrible AFC-shit that I was quite embarrased about the next morning. I think I must have followed her like a puppy in the bar. We danced the last slow song of the night there anyway and then she went on to catch her friends (they were visiting her from another town and she said that she really had to be with them). She added me as facebook friend a couple of days after that so I assumed that maybe I hadn´t completely blown it.

Anyway, two weeks ago I met her by chance in a bar (in another town!!) and she seems very happy to see me. We hug and talk for a while and I introduce her to my friends. Then she goes on to her friends and later that night I just walk to her and say that I´m leaving soon. Then I say that she should give me her number and maybe we´ll hang out some time (when we are back in the town where we both study). She puts her number in my phone and I go on my way.

My friend who is a skilled PUA adviced me to just straight up text her the following day or the day after that and just directly ask her out. I know thats quite different from what people say in these forums but I decided to follow his advice. I texted her and asked her out for coffee. She replied me the next day and said that she was working on the day that i had suggested. I replied that maybe we´ll see if our schedules allow us to meet on the next week. So i tried to call her this week and she didnt pick up. However, she started a conversation in facebook the next day and said that she had been in work when i had called. We chatted for some time and then I said that I had to go and I asked if she is free some day next week. She said that she probably was and that we should be in contact then.

So here is how my life stands at the moment. Any tips how to go about with this HB10? This is really funny, she is easily the hottest girl I have ever tried to hit on and I just keep telling me that I really have nothing to lose. Obviously its always the same thing with almost any girl, what do you have to lose, but in this kind of case it really helps me to keep my cool to think that if I blow this up...who cares...and if I manage to play my cards right, I could be seeing this super hottie in the future too.

Obviously I was bit disappointed that I wasnt able to agree a meeting spesifically, now its just hanging in the air...and who knows, if she just says that she is busy again next week. Well, like I said, nothing to lose here. I guess my plan is to call her on Monday and set up something for Wednesday.

Anyway, I will be posting again soon!

Best regards,
Zadaaam


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PostPosted: Sat Dec 04, 2010 4:18 pm 
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Ok, I tried to call this HB10 this tuesday to set up a coffee date some day this week but she didnt pick up. Then I txted her on wednesday and asked if she´d like to have a cup of coffee in a quality company. No response. Then she put a Facebook status update yesterday that she has lost all the numbers in her phone and that no one should expect her to return calls. So how should I go on in this situation? I know that she has received my text message. Should I wait for her to contact me in facebook or what? Or should I send her a message in facebook and ask if she has received my text? I dont want to be too needy here...Personally I think that I should just wait for her to contact me cause she knows I want to go out with her and I have already asked her twice. Only problem is that she doesnt have my number anymore, otherwise there would be no problem cause I could definitely just wait for her to get back to me.


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