Hello all, love the great advice on the forum and decided to join and post.

First off I'm 24 and I got out of a relationship 3 months ago and this is the first time I've been an adult and single so I had to start at the start to pick up women. I was raised in a good Christian house and was told to respect women and not use them and find a nice girl and settle down. So I never did the one night stand thing and opted for love and all that nice stuff....

Anyway being fucked over by my ex motivated me to go out and enjoy the female kind and learn how to pick them up and attract them. Reading through this forum and various sites like Gambler's and David DeAngelo has really helped but one thing I haven't been able to find is how you approach sex. I've never had the one night stand, I've never fucked a girl who wasn't my serious girlfriend. In my relationships I had sex every day two-three times a day for 4 years (excluding once a month...) and I was great at it, lasted long enough that we both felt satisfied. I know how to turn a girl on by my words, actions, where to touch how to touch it and all that stuff.

But last night I picked up this girl and we were in her bed and it was my first one night stand. We fooled around for about an hour building it up and then we finally gor to intercourse and I didn't last long at all. Of course followed the embarrassment and the I'm sorry it's never happened before. We had been drinking so I was able to stay the night and in the morning she wanted it again and this time there was no foreplay and the sex lasted longer, about 5 minutes but still not good enough in my books.

I hadn't had sex for the past 4 months so I don't know if I was excited or nervous or what.

So my question is how do you approach sex with a random. Is it a matter of practice makes perfect? Do you masturbate before you go out, skip foreplay at least her touching you, not care about her needs and just satisfy your own. Is there some deeper psychological issue I need councilling for?

I know this is all out in the open but I hate being so good at the seduction part and then crash and burn with something as simple as intercourse.

Also if this is the wrong forum to post this question in I am sorry and umm please move it and be nice to me

Once you start having sex on a regular basis again, you won't have this problem. Don't spend too much time worrying about it.

Your boy,
870

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First of all mate, I want to say take it easy man. You are not the only guy in the world who have the same problem. You have just come out of a relationship after 4 years. Thats a good long time if you ask me. And you are already rolling with a girl in bed, good for you mate.

But what goes for the sex, just stay relaxed and have fun. Kiss a lot with her, up and down her neck. Kiss her ears, bite her softly. Let your hands slight over her body and boobs very softly. Hold her boobs and massage them. Lick her softly around her nippils, use both your lips and tongue. Bite a little. Go down on her, kiss around her pussy. Kiss her down her legs. Lick her pussy softly and so on and on. Enjoy it, and feel how her body react. Just have fun mate. Take your time with her.

And for the thing about lasting longer. Just do this thing, every time you are out to take a piss. Then piss a little, then hold it back for as long as you can. Then release, then hold it again. This is a great exercise for lasting longer. Do this now then mate.

The best luck from here

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Reckless Casanova blog http://recklesscasanova.blogspot.com/

Control, take your time, communicate. Learn to really appreciate and get amazing at foreplay. Seriously I cannot stress that enough. I like the whole "treat is as your last meal" analogy. Dont take it too seriously, it should really be fun at the end of the day.
However, it sort of depends on the girl too.

Thanks guys. I really appreciate your advice.

I guess I'm lucky with this girl, she keeps asking me to come over and have some more fun. Next time I'll enjoy myself and have fun and not think about it.

And I'll try the muscle exercise PBLCK.

Sounds good mate, and have fun

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Reckless Casanova blog http://recklesscasanova.blogspot.com/

You don't need to be a sexual athlete. Do not say I'm sorry. Sex is more about the genital intercourse and if you are worried about not pleasing the woman, just be sensual kiss a lot, use your breath on her neck, experiment with light touch..

Everyone here seems to be giving you advice about how to turn the girl on. It seems to me that you know how to do this just fine (and arguably better than most). You are like me, we both care about the pleasure that a female experiences while they are with us. Cheers on that with you because way too many guys are selfish and altogether impotent to the point that when guys like us come around, we take over.
I understand you more than you think because I also left a long relationship and learned pick up afterwards. But my concern was to always have awesome sex that we both loved, no matter who it was with.
My biggest piece of advice would be to never allow yourself to become too horny. I know that when I am too aroused, I do not last as long. That is most likely your biggest issue since you are not having sex as often as before. I would recommend you to play with masturbation so that you find the best time to do it. For me, I cannot masturbate before going out because then I do not work as well. But I must release a day or two before a sex tryst. Also, you must be able to transfer the pressure from your penis to the rest of your body (I am sure you know how to do this because you must have done it even if you did not notice when you were in your other relationship).
I really think that your aroused lvl may be the issue here. It is something that I noticed happened to me when I was not having sex as often as before. The holding your muscles when peeing is a good too. But controling arousal and transfering energy (by not letting it concentrate on your penis) works very good for me.
I hope this helps.

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Also, do not stress yourself too much about this because it will come back to you. If you are pressuring yourself to perform too much, that will only hinder you.
About you apologizing, I usually apologize as well because I know what I am capable of. But i would blame it on the girl because she got me too aroused and I could not control myself. They usually love this kind of power over me....

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Thanks so much guys. Last night was good, she even told me to hurry up and cum Women, I don't understand them!