For those of you on here that are out of high school and have had some "experience" in life . . . i.e. long term relationships/marriage, something along that line . . . tell me, does this make any sense to you?

For someone that has been married more than once and used to be able to have his "pick of women" . . . how can a person like that suddenly have to LEARN how to pick women up?

That's a fricken great question, and one I had to deal with personally marrying at 19, and getting divorced at 23 w/ no children while I was a young U.S. Marine.. Then I spent the next 12 years single. I didn't get married again until I was 35. Yep you guessed it to a divorcee with no children.

The problem is you change and mature alot once you've been in a serious long term relationship like marriage. You mature alot as well having been a part of the world when most people are doing the college thing or living at home.

Simply put, once you've been married it's hard to go back to acting single. You would think it's backwards compatible, and in some respects it is. In many respects it isn't.

An analogy would be graduating from college then attempting to return to High School. Or being a big wave surfer, then attempting to hang out with the tourist folk standing in knee deep surf. The game seems superficial, boring, almost pointless and stupid in many respects. You seem different to them. And they seem rather immature and difficult to communicate with to you.

Of course if you're a millionaire, etc.. you still wont have any problem picking up women. Most of us don't have that luxury.

What's funny is a for a few years after I got divorced, I had a difficult time with women. They would set me up, expect me to act like a dog.. And when I refused in a nice way they would get pissed off immediately and try to dump me (hell hath no fury like a woman scorned). I resented it tremendously because I felt they were being unfair, like they expected me to read their minds or something. Or I was like most men they knew, a body with a dick attached. I suppose in my head I was trying to recreate what was missing in my life. A relationship and a situation where I could trust and connect with them on a level that they just didn't have any experience with. Might as well try to piss into the wind. Because for a young single woman this is an area reserved for her girlfriends only, until she marrys.

So I'd just walk away, I didn't put up with alot of bullshyt and I was an active guy. Few women could keep up with me, or keep my interest for long anyway. Living in the bible didn't help either.

Casual sex with a virtual stranger? Sure seemed like alot of work, dollars and bullshyt just to get your rocks off. At the time I preferred rock climbing, etc.. And then women just weren't doing this sort of thing.

Knock, knock, there's a person in there, full of hopes, dreams and emotions that we have learned to stuff while we're young. Make take your first wife before you finally meet him. But then some people never do. They prefer getting choked perpetually in the shallow water I suppose. That's not all bad, it makes for a much easier transition back to the world of being single.

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http://youtube.com/watch?v=4ufa-q7DcWM

lol. I do see your points. They do make sense, about it not being backward compatible. It's taken me a little over 2 months of ACTIVE work in the field to finally be able to start having some effect.

I have another analogy for you..

When I got divorced at 23 in the mid '80's and returned home from the Marines, interacting and trying to date single women that had never been married became sort of like trying to babysit an obnoxious child who had been spoiled by her parents and was looking for a new daddy or braggin' rights to impress her girlfriends. It all seemed rather juvenile.

Man, by the time I was 23 I had already been married for 3 years, been a U.S. Marine for 5 years, had lived in Hawaii and all over the country and had had sex thousands of times. I also didn't have alot of patience or time while I was trying to get somewhere in the work world. When you're that age women just don't get it. Most of the premiums are in college, still trying to climb the social ladder, been with mommy and daddy all their lives, prefer women to men, etc..

I remember a local doctor in town that had a lake house. This guy was about 40, single and was loaded. He had 25 of the hottest young chicks over at his place every weekend. And I think he was getting with all of them. It was like the playboy mansion or something. This sort of spoils your view of women completely, when you're trying to compete with that. Or back in the '80's when the bar scene was a bunch of Pat Benetar clones and/or coke whores. The girls were either total prudes or out of control. I had a few called me 'kin to the devil':lol:, and others whose idea of fun was drinking half a bottle of 'Jack', then banging whatever strange fuck was available in a car out in the clubs parking lot at 2AM, then pretending they didn't know him. I mean are you supposed to take such people seriously? This was a time when sexually transmitted diseases were running rampant. I mean if that's your idea of a worthwhile experience then have at it.

The other thing I noticed around here was 10 women would rather all screw and have a superficial relationship the same guy (one they deem exceptional, I knew better), than have a normal guy for their very own. Now by exceptional I mean money, status, etc.. If you've got a rich daddy, or a great job or all that more power to you. But if your normal Joe you've got a serious handicap already. Often, it doesn't matter what else you bring to the table. I mean a girl's got to eat too I guess. And money talks, bullshyt walks.

I remember one girl I met while taking classes down at the community college when I was 23 or 24. She chased me around during psych class, telling me I looked like a model, etc.. I thought she was ok (skinny, party girl). So I took her out for pizza, one day after classes. She ended up taking me to her house. It was a fricken mansion nearby. Seems her parents were rich (they must have owned the business I worked for too because somebody was stealing the money because they weren't paying anybody anything). She took me into the house and led me directly to her bedroom which was a huge and fancily furnished room on the bottom floor. I was so shocked I didn't do anything. Besides I barely knew the chick and wasn't sure I wanted to jump into anything with her. So we watched a little TV, and I had to go to work so I excused myself thinking I'd see her the next day in class.. When I saw her the next day at school, she was obviously pissed off, dropped the class we had together and she wouldn't talk to me anymore.. Oh well, there goes the cush job compliments of her daddy.

Looking back on it, I think she was just looking for a sperm donor to appease her parents with a grandchild. I don't think she wanted to go to school at all. She was a party girl and just wanted access to daddies money. I was her ticket. I'm glad I didn't jump, because you know where I would have been in short order. Nowhere and gone, probably paying alimony for the rest of my life.

So let that be a lesson. Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it. And a little more you didn't bargain for.

Just proves one thing... Sometimes 'not getting some' is a victory unto itself.

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http://youtube.com/watch?v=4ufa-q7DcWM

Started watching the show with my sons... became addicted, and I can tell you... it works! Immediately!! I was online with an adorable young girl for a few months, back and forth. I was not in the "game" and all it was, was a flirty friendship. She lives with her bf, so I thought it was a deal-killer. WRONG.

Last week I started push-pull with a few select negs tossed in. All of a sudden she asked for my number... calls me and gave me her number, starts telling me how neglectful her bf is, and she's talking about sleeping with me one day this week! Now, I'm gonna hold off a little bit (something I NEVER would have done before)... make her miss me, and then make HER set a date to have me over when bf is not home.

THANK YOU!!!

richlaw, piece of advice for you that comes from experience.

Whenever you're dealing with a girl that has a boyfriend, etc..

Never, I mean never.. bone her over at her place. Take her to a neutral location (hotel, friends house, out in the woods, etc..) or your place only. I used to have a single friend I'd pay $20 for him to get lost for a few hours.

The reason is a lot of boyfriends, etc.. have keys and are capable of extreme jealousy. Not to mention some girls do such shyt on purpose as a way of getting back at their cheating or their inattentive boyfriends (yep morons exist as part of the female species too). If you don't want some asshole with a really bad attitude (that she conveniently failed to mention) interrupting your moment of pleasure by walking in on you and potentially bashing your head in, etc.. think twice.

Not trying to make you paranoid. Just the way it is my friend. A little caution is always a great idea. If she wont play along with a neutral location or your place, etc.., then you maybe a lot better off giving that one a pass.

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http://youtube.com/watch?v=4ufa-q7DcWM

When I was in HS I had 6 girls at once, all going to separate schools. I had no problem just making out with a girl on a whim. After a few years of faithful marriage and celibacy at a bible college. My skills were rusty at best. I found it so difficult even speaking with women unless talking business. Therefore, I've spent the past 2 months diving into books, and websites. Helping me not only get back into the game but also overhauling my inner self. I'm a lot better person for it. Now I'm working on putting together a harem!

Two months diving in. That sounds similar to me. Yeah, it makes a difference, huh? It does change your perspective on things. A lot of things. When you realize how girls really think and act, somehow it changes your perception of other things too, lol.

GREAT ADVICE- You probably saved his life

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"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel"

Why don't you ask him? Their's a million reasons that he could look into this stuff. Maybe he just is interested in learning something he didn't know before?

LOL. Thanks The Wild One. Actually, I was indirectly talking about myself there, lol. I'm trying to figure out why I am having to learn it all now, lol.