I know that in Pick up, neediness is an attraction killer.

But in terms of a relationship, is neediness really at all that bad?

I never really thought about this until I came across a comment on yahoo answers. Some guy said " If the girl really likes you, then it is impossible to kill the attraction with neediness, because she has already accepted you"

And I really ponder this too. Cause there is a girl I really like and I'm trying to picture her being really needy to me: like wanting me, and I don't see how I would dislike her for that. Infact I feel like I would like her even more knowing that she likes me just that much.

So is neediness really at all that bad? What do you guys think? What are the cases ?

_________________
"There is always a solution to even the hardest problem in life."

"If something is important enough to you, you won't give up"

I think neediness is okay once ur in a relationship - as long as u dont go to extremes. Letting your gf know that ur thinking of her, etc is fine - just dont go overboard with it.

Remember once ur in a relationship u've got a much bigger leeway in terms of "afc behaviour" or so i've read somewhere... (ie. u can do more wussy stuff and it's still okay)

I don't mind neediness from a girl i'm in a relationship if it's not over the top. A bit of neediness can be attractive in a girl. But does it work both ways? I think neediness from males is far more unattractive.

wowo

Good point guys. Thank you.

_________________
"There is always a solution to even the hardest problem in life."

"If something is important enough to you, you won't give up"

Recognize the difference in neediness and wantiness. Its perfectly find to want her. but to need her is something else. Ya you imagine her needing you and it doesnt make you unattracted because your the dominate one. It feels good to have people need you because you feel like you have a purpose. It doesnt work the same in the womans eye. Imagine if you two broke up. You needed her right? so now what the fuck do you do? But if you just really wanted her, and now your not together you dont want her anymore, or maybe you do but you just cant have her but you move on and get over it. We NEED very few things. Air water food sun shelter. Not women. But damn do we WANT them.

I suggest looking at the movie "Good luck Chuck" with Dane Cook. That's neediness. Men sometimes like neediness because it's a product of what is hardwired in our minds.
Men are supposed to be alpha, the providers etc. If a woman needs a man then we think that we are being alpha etc. Cool stuff huh? A woman however seeks an alpha male. Someone who is strong and who is a provider and who she'll be safe with. She doesn't want to be needed. That's a sign of weakness to her. She wants to be wanted, just as the guy above said. And of course don't go overboard with the wanting either.

You can test this for yourself. Use it as an opener and ask girls what they think. I think it's a good one. Oh and you can still talk to women while you're in a relationship you don't need to game them

_________________
Fox

True . Thanks guys.

Good point about being wanty and not needy.

_________________
"There is always a solution to even the hardest problem in life."

"If something is important enough to you, you won't give up"

neediness..its a game too

For the love of god if you get a good one don't be clingy.

Too much of that drives her away, personal experience.

_________________

Depends though. Sometimes the girl likes needy guy because it makes them feel needed and of important.

Though I agree. There's a boundary.

_________________
"There is always a solution to even the hardest problem in life."

"If something is important enough to you, you won't give up"

This is horseshit don't even think for a second you should be a needy chode or else you will destroy your relationship. I've been there. It's better to be sweet at the right time but never needy.

Needy is mad when your girlfriend goes out and has fun and you get jealous.
Needy is always needing her all the time to be there, call you, respond, and you fight when she doesn't.

Needy is not saying you're thinking about her, that's sweet. There is a big difference and why say things you don't mean or haven't really been earned?

Neediness is DEVASTATING!

Don't be that guy. Maybe your girl will like it, maybe she won't. Point is, you shouldn't want to be needy ever to anyone. You don't want to be perceived as someone who derives his pleasure from other people. I don't care it's your girlfriend or your boss, fulfill yourself first at all times. If your alone fulfill yourself, if your in a relationship fulfill yourself then you can fulfill her.

What exactly makes you want to be needy? I'm not sure I get the point of this post. It's like inside you are needy and you want to be needy to your girl? Why? Be a strong man.

Neediness can also cause resentment. If you are constantly insecure and need reassurance (hence neediness) your girl will feel like she can't focus on herself and her flaws she always has to focus on yours. How about you eliminate flaws and become completely self-fulfilled. Then you can say and do any of the sweet caring things you want without NEEDING reassurance or NEEDING approval.

I think you are confusing wanting with needing. Plus you give an example of a girl who you would enjoy being more aggressive but it doesn't work the other way around. Your needy in a relationship your relationship will suffer.

I can't even believe that you would chose to be needy even if it didn't kill attraction. It's just not a good thing to be period.

_________________
Ahead of my time, like I live my whole life backwards.

This idea of neediness is something that the majority of women find unattractive. HOWEVER, depending on the girls personnality and her past experiences she could be looking for a guy that is slightly needy. Some of you may disagree with this but look at it this way.

Say a girl has been SERIOUSLY hurt in past relationships (which most have at some point). It's probable that she'd be looking for someone who demonstrates SAFE TRAITS that way she knows she won't get hurt again by this new guy. Therefore neediness (in some small form) would be seen as a safe trait and could be seen as something positive... for awhile. Neediness, much like most things in life would only be useful in SMALL DOSES. I think we can all agree that too much neediness would never turn out well.

BE AWARE, there's a fine line between being needy and nagging. If you want to spend time with your gf alot that's fine, she probably wants the same thing. If, however, you're txting her EVERYDAY to tell her you miss her..... things might not turn out so well.

Everything in moderation.


Anyways this is just my humble opinion, hope it helps.

dJ vIrAl

I agree 100%.

_________________
"There is always a solution to even the hardest problem in life."

"If something is important enough to you, you won't give up"