Hopefully this will help some people a little

Title: Compulsory reading for tall girls

Hi. I see you want someone who's proud to have you around their friends!

Well I'm a 44 year old full time garbage man (hey that big claw is fun), I'm on my 6th divorce and have 5 kids who are all under the age of 18. I'd be happy to introduce you to Cletus, Larry and Moe (my hamster). They would love you because they're from one of those neo pagan communities populated by Looney tunes.

If you'd like to get married and be my 7th ex wife, let me know (lucky 7!).

Your future ex husband,
XXXX
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wow..... way to be a douche!!
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Wow i think someone needs to change their tampon and develop a sense of
humour.
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i have a great sense of humor... maybe somone needs to learn how to right a normal opening message lol
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Problem with that is, EVERYBODY writes a normal opening message. I know how many you get everyday. Chances are you ignore most of the boring "hey how are you" openings.

Tell me mine didn't get your attention, hmmm?
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well ill give u that.. ur one did stand out and i replied lol. so do u write that opening message to everyone?
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Exactly. I send all sorts of crap to people, I love to have a laugh.

Who wants to talk to a boring wussbag who's just sucking up and saying hi? Not me, that's for sure. The question is, you look good, but what else can you bring to the table? I'm genuinely interested to know

Being a woman, you know full well even the arrogant jerks get your attention more effectively lol. You need to be challenged. Where's the fun otherwise, right?
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well i guess u have it all figured out lol how often does this work 4 u??
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Ohhh all the time, I'm fully pimp. I date 500 girls a week.

it totally completes me.
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wow 500? is that all ? i guess ur not as pimp'n as i thought
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but you have to take into account the 15hr sex!!!

and hey, I said I was pimp, not chuck norris! Gee you sound VERY high maintenance!

are you?
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ill answer that when u tell me how i sound hight maintenance??
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Oh you just look like the type lol

I have a 6th sense for these types of things - plus you look like Scarlett Johansson, so that is rock solid undeniable proof hehe!
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well first of all thnx for saying i look like scarlett johansson lol and i am high maintenence but i think theres anywrong with wanting too look good lol
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O oh!!! I was so gonna demand your number, but now we can only be friends!

I need brains over beauty honey!
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why cant there be both??
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we can't have you dressing me up like a drag queen and expect me to be loading your underwear with pads, now can we?

I might take your number, but you have to promise me something: NO GOLD DIGGING!

You'll get an allowance and thats it haha
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lol an allowance wow .. am i 5 years old now lol and dont even act like u wouldnt enjoy dressing up like a drag queen haha
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No, you're a moody 16 year old at heart

Hey lets go to the beat (a gay club btw to people reading) and get some tips from the pro drags.

But you also have to come with me to love & rockets (strip club) haha.

Deal? :O
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lol deal ... and correction im a moody 16 and a half year old at heart
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16 & a half? Oh I'm afraid I'm going to have to bump you back down to 5!

What are your digits cowgirl?
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lol (XXXXXXXX)

wats ur name cowboy??:P
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XXXXXX
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Gee it's so hard to get in contact with people these days, is this a set of digits attached to your real phone?
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lol yes im not a **** i would never give out a fake number i would just tell u i dont wanna give it too u lol
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Good girl.

I must be off! Try not to get too cranky.

I'll stalk you and such within the next few days. I'm a busy man so I shall catch you soon.
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ok cya lol
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Hold on a second - aren't cell phone numbers XXXXX long?

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yer XXXXXX thats XXX lol
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Aha. You gave me "XXXXXXX".

Wow this IS high maintenance: P

Okay, I'm off now. Ciao.
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lol ok bye

Tried something similar to this, just changed a few bits and pieces to fit me. Heres my message:

Hi, I see your looking for someone who can read!

..."Im a 40 year old Carpet salesman. Im on my 6th divorce and have 1 child under the age of 18. I'd be happy to introduce you to Reuben (my cat). He'd love you as hes from one of those neo pagan communities populated by Looney tunes.

If you'd like to get married and be my 7th ex wife, let me know (lucky 7!).

Your future ex husband, "...

And her response:

..."haha how come u have had 6 wifes , that a joker , do u marry for fun then ? hmmm well i dont think im that silly to date a man whos been married 6 times it bad enough woth my ex his was married twice and i cud see why , as he was a selfish ass h o l e , and all the rest of the names to go with it , so glad i wasnt a 3rd , but he just out for his self now so he dont want a wife he wants a f u c k , lol ,......... any how mate i hope u treat yr 7 wife like a queen , and to stop treating women like crap ? totally not being funny tho ? just dont under stand why men like you can get away with breaking hearts ?..."

I found this pretty funny. Went with the tampon response. Going to see what happens next lol!

Cheeers for the post!

Cambria

Haha awesome dude!

I find they'll either get pissed off and take it a bit seriously, then of course you use the tampon response.

If they STILL take it seriously, chances are they're insecure and you don't want to go further anyway. But think most of the time, if you get a reply, it's on!

Good luck mate!

Insecure? I would more say uptight or to dam serious.

steel thats the funniest thing ive ever read, my facebook profile has been updated hehe

u got any good sms text message threads?

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JD

Well me & her started txting lots the other night, continuing the banter! Eventually I told her we were going to hang out next week. She said she's busy, so I told her it was her only chance and then I stopped talking to her.

My guess is she'll crack and start txting again once she realises I'm not going to hang around.

As for the txts - I really just txt the same stuff as I do online. It works great. Almost all of our txts were very sexual, me accusing her of being a sleezeball etc

I kept saying I was going to spank her and she said "I have no objections to that" & "is it sad I'm looking forward to it?" so obviously by saying she's busy next week, she was just shit testing. So I'll report back soon!