Hey guys,

I've read MM and I recall a model which stated that relationships, career and health lead to an all-rounded individual.

Anyhow, I'm fucking up in terms of my academic life. I've always been a low achiever but I did brilliantly for a bit and I ended up in a prestigious university. I know how difficult it is to get into a university and how many people would give their right arm to get into a top one but that doesn't seem to affect me.

It's summer right now and like every summer break I evaluate my goals and shit and intend to go to university with a correct state of mind. I work hard in the beginning but get disillusioned because the effort seems to great and the competition too immense and I give up and fail many courses. I'm not an idiot and have gotten As before, but I don't seem to want to graduate with a degree. Fuck I really want a degree but my actions speak otherwise. I have to retake so many courses with people 2 years younger than me it sucks!!

I don't seem to want to do good simply because this irrational belief that it doesn't matter. That who cares we all have to die in the end, why work hard it's gonna get us all to the same outcome.

I can't be bothered to start tasks that have to be done and can't be bothered to live a life worth living. FML. I took one of those Big Five Personality Questionnaire and my Conscientiousness was 0%!! And it's true!

I'm not looking for some miracle cure here as I know that taking action with only help, but any advice not matter how harsh it may be would be of help.

This is all about character and strength of will. My grandfather told me a very valuable lesson once:

When you offer a child some candy and you say "if you wait an hour, you'll get double the amount of candy", there are two types of children. There's the child who has the patience to wait, and there's the child who can't wait and takes it immediately. That last child failed the candy-test.

Be determined, even though it doesn't seem important, finish your studies, it will pay off. Be strong.

Good luck.

_________________
"To know what people really think, pay regard to what they do, rather than what they say. "
René Descartes

Thanks for the advice Vuvuzela, that is profound and it helps to think that way, knowing that in the end there is success.

I personally believe that success is not guaranteed, if you have the right method and work hard with evaluation one shall succeed.

I believe that I shouldn't be too goal oriented it puts a lot of pressure on me. If I focus on the process that helps me succeed more...

Hello Apostle,

I was in a similar situation to you when I was doing my undergrad. I was a complete fuck-up and my grades were so shitty that I was on the brink of being kicked out of school. Fortunately an old friend that I had lost contact with over the years called me out of the blue and asked me if I wanted to study with him. My friend had strong work ethic and I started hanging out with him and like minded individuals. Eventually their work ethic rubbed off on me and I was able to apply it to everything I did in life. I went from almost flunking out of school to recently completing an MBA.

My advice to you is find people that have their shit together and befriend them and work with them. Try to emulate what they do to achieve success. Hope this helps.

hey man shift ur mind frame from having to get good grades to wanting to get good grades this will put less pressure on ur self since ur not gonna be thinking about it as a huge dontaing task to do but rather something u want out of lie...n this shit will pay off once ur done if ur gettin a degree that will give u a lot of options...nothing is guarnateed but if u put more time in to something ull get more out of it

I was where you are two years ago and this is how I turned around. It was summer 2008, and I sat, just as you are, in introspect and wondering how to achieve more than I did the year before.

I made a list of things and wrote them down in order of priority. Academics first, money next, and so on. Then, I made a small flowchart for each. How do I get good grades? How do I do well on the assignments? Will doing the assignments matter or not? Is there a help centre for certain courses? Then I started imagining the good things that will come to me with good grades: Better grad school, better job, better pay, better car, better house...and so on. One thing led to another, and the plans turned to dreams. Just as how I'm working on my game now, I worked for academics.

As I started getting into it initially, I suddenly started finding the subject matter extremely interesting. I studied Physics in Undergrad and now studying Corporate law, and you can imagine what it took for me to actually like Physics when I started out. But I did, and now thoroughly do. Remember, the first thing to do is to step back and see if what you're studying is really what you're into. If you can determine that, half your job is done. Then start finding the good in what you're learning. Strive for an internship, look at the benefits you are provided. As humans, we have been conditioned to have a carrot in front of us to take a step further (And for some, a stick on their backside), so if you provide your own carrot, your feet will move forward. Just out of curiosity, where are you from?

To deskmale,

I asked a conscientious friend to study with me once but that didn't go anywhere as we hadn't fixed the time. Then I asked my ex-gf who was studious but she said she couldn't concentrate with me around. I am thinking about asking a friend of mine from a different faculty who studies medicine and has good conscientiousness, I'm not too sure if he'd agree we study in different universities but we live in the same area.

@ WD:

Prima facie, I thought that shifting ones state of mind is a brilliant idea.My main concern is there is nothing pushing me forward, I guess I have to build that motivation slowly but getting things done. I guess I have to get addicted to the joy of solving problems and accomplishing tasks once more.

@frost3627

Your story is really inspirational, I did that a bit visualization with one of my counselors, she tried to hard to help me but once I'd get motivated visualizing my success, the momentum would only last for a day or two then negative thoughts would come in. "This is so hard, so tough..." then I'd revert to my previous state.

I've written my 5 year plan 2 months ago. Detailing what I intend to accomplish each month, but I haven't looked at it since.

I'm from China.