Being too aware of the bystanders



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PostPosted: Tue Jul 20, 2010 7:52 am 
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Probably asked before and probably know the answer to it. However, I would like to ask anyways to get it off my chest.

I think I am developing the courage to approach any woman who is alone and in a situation where I am not surrounded by or being watched by other bystanders.

Ex. I email closed a girl at a bus stop while waiting for the bus. She was standing next to me and there were a few others but they weren't watching me as they were facing the other way or just minding their own business.

So when bystanders are not looking at me directly (unaware of the situation), I seem to find the courage to strike up the chat.

I think I worry about losing my face and how embrassing it would be to be that guy who got shot down in front of the bystanders if they are standing close by, or looking at the interaction taking place.

While I can apply the indifference to the outcome of the interaction with the target, my face/confidence in front of the bystanders seem to be the issue that stops me at times. I assume that I should apply the indifference approach to the bystanders as well but it just feels too awkward to be in that situation.

Let's say I get shot down by a girl at a bus stop where bystanders are close enough to overhear and watch the interaction taking place, I am still stuck at the stop waiting for the bus/subway. Same deal when I try to approach inside a subway. It would suck if I get shot down while bystanders are so close. I would be the creepy guy/loser who tried to pick up somebody and got shot down.

How do I get over this fear? Do people really care? How do people perceive the situation?


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 20, 2010 10:47 am 
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You know the answer to your question already. Of course they don't care. Do you think they will remember you in a few months or will they be busy with the daily grind in their own lives?

Go to the videos section. There is one from the UK on how NOT to do pick ups posted recently. He is a young black guy, but he just talks to women in front of members of the public and doesn't give a hoto if he is being turned away. He is telling them he wants to get to know them in front of other people.

I am the same as you, but I know it is all irrational. You can never get an answer to your question. It is up to you to take a who gives a fu*k attitude.


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 21, 2010 5:33 am 
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Joined: Fri Feb 05, 2010 1:32 pm
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Location: Brisbane, Australia
haha im exactly the same its a big problem for me as well

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Life's about struggling and overcoming your shortcomings, not about huffing and puffing without doing nothing.


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 27, 2010 2:51 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jul 26, 2010 4:10 pm
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Location: Holland - Ridderkerk
Neo2damax,

Why do you think you will get shot down by a girl? Its that way of thinking that keeps you from acting in those areas.

Personally the way i dress makes girls comment on me. Its good to wear something cool and outspoken, makes the girls come to you.

Riqueza.


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