Quote:
So I meet this really awesome chick from a dating site, we have a great first date which ends in really wild sex, and we meet up two more times after that for more crazy sex. I proceed to make all of the classic mistakes of engaging in marathon chat sessions and becoming doting instead of challenging. Of course she starts becoming less responsive in chat and becomes harder to get hold of. We meet for coffee and then she tells me that she doesn't see us as going anywhere romantically, that she's not in love with me now and won't ever be, BUT that she wants me as friend and a potential "sexual option"!? I am now very very confused as to where I stand with this woman. Since that day we have had one very sexually flirty chat and some weird short ones. All of this made me feel really confused and frustrated, so that when I ran into her randomly at a bar, I almost entirely ignored her when she came up to me while I was in mid conversation with a guy, then I was playful in flirty with her later, then went back to ignoring her entirely and hanging out with my group of friends. I am supposed to have a drink with sometime this week, but I am massively confused as to where I stand in all of this. I really wanted her as a long term girlfriend, but now I am in this weird grey area. What combination of successes and errors makes a woman want to hang-out with you, sleep with you, but not date you? This is not the first time this virtually identical scenario has happened to me in the past few years, so I am dying to get to the bottom of this. I appreciate any and all forthcoming feedback.
OctavianusPUA/AFC?
First of all, please make some paragraphs, it's kinda annoying to read like this. Also hard to find certain sentances to review.
Anyway, short story:
Met girl online
Had sex the first date (she is conveying interest)
Made all the mistakes you can make
(she lost interest)
She tells you she doesnt see this going with you in a romantic way.
She does want you for sex
But you want her as a LTR
It's a kinda messed up situation your in. You need to do some serious damage control.
If you deny sex with her, you wouldn't be able to date her. But if you keep having sex with her it will also be hard to go anywhere romantic.
So there are a few things I want to know,
Did you have alot of attraction with her, before you made all the mistakes?
Or did you notice it wasn't going anywhere from the start, and you tried everything to win her over?
(I think you had attraction going on, cause you had sex the 1st date., but it could also just be a desire she had at that moment. She might have had that desire the time in the bar aswell)
Does she live in the same town as you?
(i assume she does, since you saw her again in the bar)
And how does she respond to you? Is she distant or does she give you a little secrative smile?
There are 2 thing you can do.
1) Deny sex with her, freeze her out and when you see her in the bar again, DHV, C&F and get back with your friends. Let her gain interest for you again.
Do this for a while and meet up with her, maby get some hot sex and see if this time it will be different.
2) Keep her as sexs buddy.
You will have do turn her on somewhere, at your house or at hers. Because you don't just meet up and immediatly have sex.
So use this time to DHV yourself and be cocky and funny and be a turn on for her.
Let her gain interest for you again.
Don't show any interest in having a relationship with her, just chill with her and enjoy what you've got with her at that moment.
She will slowly make up her mind and she will start showing more interest in you.
And you work from there.
The important part is that you don't expect to succeed, she is also gonna stop having sex with you, if you keep showing her that you want more then just a sexual relation.
Good luck Bro!
CHAT
