You said : "I just want acceptance. A friend. Someone to confide in"

This is for Rune and Smarpesh :

We're all here man. Beleive it or not, lot's of people DO CARE.

We're all here for you.

I can tell you this, Life is not easy, and you know that more
than anybody. You were dealt a very bad hand, but you need to
rise and fight, not fight people, but fight to turn that bad
hand around.

Again, it's not going to be easy, I promise you that, but I've
been through a lot myself (and I'm not gonna bore you with details),
but I believe in moving forward, in baby steps.

See, you might not get the girl tomorrow, or next week, or month, but
you gotta start moving forward, fixing one thing at a time, or even try
and attempt to do so one step at a time.

One thing that works for sure, even if you are "butt ugly", is to put a
smile on your face. Even if you have to force it in the beginning, smile
man. This is STEP ONE.

People react to that. You're saying to the world, hey, no matter what,
I like myself. Slowly but surely, you will have your fans.

It's a start. It's not that difficulat to do. I'm not the best looking guy
myself, and definitely not a PUA. But people, including girls, will react to
you in a positive way. Again, it's a start.

Everything takes time. A baby has to crawl before he/she can walk, and after
that, run.

You will make mistakes, you will embarass youself sometimes, you will say the
wrong things, you will do stupid things. Well, you learn from that.

In order to succeed, or on the road to success, you will fail a lot. You have
to know that. Some people are lucky, they succeed on their first attempt, but
most are not. You will get turned down over and over again. So fuckin what. You,
get up, you brush it off, and you start again. That, in and of itself makes you
a winner. Makes you a fighter. It will raise your self esteem and people will
sense that.

It takes time buddy, so start right now. It's a long journey, so don't waste time
on the negative. Be proud that you were dealt a bad hand, and yet you got up and
started over. Say to life, come on bitch, put me down again, and again, and see if
I can't take it. I'm gonna stand up again and again and again. SMILE.

I know you are very angry, and smiling is the last thing on your mind, but
that's the first step. A very small step I ask of you to do, even if you
have to fake it. I always have this stupid smile on my face, no matter what,
and I don't fake it anymore. I do it because I like to do it. I realized, hey,
I'm a good person, with all the bullshit that happened in my life, I am a good
person. People see that, believe me.

You are too. If you have suffered that much in your past, then I know for a fact
that you are a person who deep inside has a big heart. I know that behind all this
anger there's a very sensitive person.

You're the underdog bud. I like being the underdog. I accept the challenge.

We're all here, people do care, you need to know that

By the way, whoever don't care about you, or whoever treats you badly, whoever puts you down, and you WILL encounter more and more people like that, all you
have to do is leave them behind, out of your life. You don't have time for them,
you are moving forward bud, you are moving forward, and you're bringing with you only the good deserving people who enrich your future life. It's that simple

My best advice to you would be to hire a hot escort for a night, and get rid of your physical needs. Splurge on the choice of your woman, make sure she is very hot. It's going to cost you between $250-$400, but it's worth it. This way you get your physical requirement of sex taken care of, allowing you to step back and see other aspects clearly.

Jonjon, that's some brilliant advice, great work mate.

Adding to what he said; in a game of poker, the best possible way to win is not when you get lucky and score a royal flush, but when you have a real shitty hand and still manage to school everyone around you and take the pot. You have everything you need to suceed in life, find it, and use it. Envy happens when you percieve someone has it "better than you", when that's completely not true. If the ones who you are envious of are sucessful at something, its because they played to their strengths and are winning, so you should follow suit, and play to your strengths.

Hi Frost, I paid for sex for many years, and it didn't do much for me at all. Apart from removing the perceived stigma of virginity when I was young it done nothing for my self esteem. In fact it is just another thing I will have to hide if I do meet someone. I have had sex with beautiful women by paying for it, and I can assure you it is completely seperate from problems with self-esteem or approach anxiety. I wouldn't recommend it as a way of dealing with inner game issues.

I agree, but I paid for it a couple of times when I was low and it certainly was a bit of a boost every now and then. I may not explain it the right way, but it made me feel like I had some absurd power over hot women, and not just escorts, but every beautiful woman. I've realized that if you talk to every woman the way you talk to an escort, your results will magnify exponentially. You KNOW that an escort is going to laugh at anything you say, so that totally breaks your hesitance and you lose your cluttered thinking, talking freely. If you just imagine the same in any interaction with a female, you're going to go a long way.

It always allowed me to not freeze up while talking to a hot woman because I knew that I'd already slept with smokin females, and could do so whenever I wished again (and so sex became a by-product, not a goal). That killed my 'motives' and got me fully into the present moment with my target, rather than imagining her undressing. I believe that if you haven't gotten laid in 6 months, get an escort, or visit an MP. Your physical and psychological needs are two separate things, albeit connected by a large bridge. Work on whichever is possible at the moment.

Yet, I understand that not everybody here may share my views, and there are some ethics involved. But let's not go there!

The interaction is artificial so it did not have the same effect on me. I guess our views of the world, and maybe our issues are different. I have a lot of issues with social anxiety, low self-esteem, and even irrational shame about sex. It is therefore difficult to compare our outlooks.

Points well taken...


...I'm hiring a hooker!

Thanks guys!

I appreciate you all guys.
Thanks,really.

Life sucks :lol: Lets see if im going to be able to grow. I have to do that in a few months,cause college is coming there,and i CANNOT be a loser there.
Thats not a fucking option,seriously. I wont live a loser.

I for one laughed. Ha ha ha. . . I suppose it's more of an uncomfortable chuckle . . .

What is the deal with losers? They can't even kill themselves without complaining, whining, bitching, and moaning. They DO THIS OVER, OVER, OVER with everything in life and then when they can't monger up enough attention for their satisfaction, they pull the KILL card. Then you have everybody going, "ooh . . . no, we care about you." - You kids rallying around and telling complete strangers that you care about them is a total fucking lie and it's is even more laughable. You should be ashamed. The fact that the guys reading are actually getting off on that bullshit is absolutely sick.

It's your life. You want to kill yourself? Cut the melodrama soapbox announcements. Go somewhere quiet and succeed.

However, this isn't your goal is it? Killing yourself isn't the goal. You want love. You want friends. You want girlfriends. So you think killing yourself will help you obtain any of this? The problem is nothing but a lack of organization, planning, strategy, and execution. What would you tell a guy who's goal is to score an A on his biology exam and plans to do this by hanging himself upside down by the balls with a fishing line? You'd laugh too wouldn't you?

Then why not create some plans and work on the things you'd like to accomplish instead of blaming everything that is NOT within your control? Why not take some simple steps towards your goals instead of RUNNING in the other direction? I am inclined to believe that you kids have a habit of running in the other direction with everything that you do. Ever see a guy who succeeds with only half of his life? Winners win with just about everything they do. Losers lose at just about everything they do.

This is simply a habit. Fix it . . . If LOVE and FRIENDSHIPS really are your goals, then work towards it. Or sit there and whine and complain for the rest of your life but you won't get any sympathy from me . . . nor ANYBODY ELSE. Not strangers (everybody here are bullshit artists. In real life, they'd get sick of you as well.) nor the people you know. This is WHY you have no friends. Think about this.

Ok Kasabi...

And just WHAT exactly do you suggest I do? Are you telling me all it is is planning and effort?



...It can't be that easy...

To directly answer your question Rune; Kasabi did tell you what you should be doing: "Then why not create some plans and work on the things you'd like to accomplish instead of blaming everything that is NOT within your control? Why not take some simple steps towards your goals instead of RUNNING in the other direction?"

Throughout his post Kasabi suggested something similar to what I did (about playing to your strengths/focusing on yourself): work towards the goals you want to actually achieve (in this case; love and friendships) rather than bitching and moaning about how you wanna kill yourself, because you don't actually wanna die now do you.

I'll get you started Rune; I've noticed that you keep trying to get someone to "put you on the right track", you're looking for answers, but you aren't gonna find them anywhere but inside yourself. What do you like to do? What do you want to do with your life? DO THAT. No one but you knows what you like. You can make affirmations about "BEING ALPHA" and "MAN-ING UP" etc but they aren't gonna help you if you keep looking for external validation and an authority outside yourself to tell you how to live your life.

The only way you can become "alpha" is if you start being your own man, be your own authority, start doing what you enjoy, and working towards what you want to achieve. To do so, you will need what Kasabi said: "organization, planning, strategy, and execution".

Organise your life; rid yourself of clutter, unnecessary shit that's holding you back (e.g. thoughts of wanting to kill and hurt everyone to get what you want).

Plan what you want to get out of life; don't be overly specific, just work towards achievable goals, don't become meglomanical, as then you will set unachievable goals and ultimately get nowhere ( e.g. achievable goal: get in better shape in the next 6 months through a specific training routine, or take up a sport/activity you enjoy and get involved in it).

Strategy; how you will go about achieving your plans. Specific training routines, timetables etc whatever will help you get where you want to be.

Execution; the most important step, actually putting all that ^ into action.

Now you have to actually do this, no one is gonna live your life for you. Be your own authority, stop running in the other direction, procrastinating and blaming others. Actually do something to get your life the way you want it.

For you, it can't be that easy . . .

You just don't have a habit of doing the right things to gain friendship/love. For some, this is second nature; you could strip away their belongings, bank accounts, friends, etc . . .and drop them in the middle of some foreign country and within months, they'll have friends, love, etc . . .

Put it this way . . . if my goal was to become an angry fuck and have no friends at all, this would be difficult for me. I'd have to plan, strategize, and execute everything one step at a time. I'd have to remember to tell a few people every day that I want to kill them and that I want to kill myself. I'd have to remember to act disinterested in their lives and remember to make no plans for myself. Because this wouldn't be second nature to me, I'd have to create a calendar and schedule daily tasks and check off completed tasks as I go. Things won't happen over night. A few people will tell me to fuck off but they won't REALLY mean it. They'd pass by and will have forgotten about me the very next day. For this negative energy to stick, I'd really have to work on it for an extended time.

It's the same way with you. It won't be easy at all . . . But if you can muster some fortitude to stick with the plan and continue working towards your goal, you too could make these things second nature to you.

Wow brother. Reading this post brought back so many memories of the shit I went through in HS. I appreciate you putting yourself out there like this. If nothing else it allowed ME to see how many other guys out there know exactly how I feel.

I am glad you are feeling better. I hope that you dont actually go out and hurt yourself.

I sure wish I had something philosophical to say to motivate you and help you turn it around, but this is the internet. The closest I can come is to add my voice to the chorus of people who suggest you get some help. Whatever form that help comes in; antidepressants, therapy, self-help, hookers...just go out and get it. Do something to make yourself feel better.

If it weren't for 20mg of Celexa every morning I would be a train wreck.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/32292246/

I wonder if someone wrote the same post to this guy? Something to think about.

Some men,just werent born to be alpha,you gotta agree with me here.
And the hardest thing is,what is an achievable goal to me? if you ask me today,i m not gonna be able to answer you,a single achievable goal i can start with.
I cant even do sports/work out,my health doesnt allow it.


And for kasabi,i dont ask for people pity,i just posted how i feel here,in real life,i just hold it all for me,no one even knows my thoughts.