Met a girl the other day and had an instant date that went really well: we connected on core values, and there was good initial kino. Set up a fun date for a couple of nights later. Meanwhile, we started texting back and forth, with her often initiating -- and saying how excited she was for our date. She also proposed -- again really enthusiastic -- that we meet up the night before our scheduled date, but I already had plans, so I said I couldn't but was looking forward to seeing her the next night. She replied again that she was really excited -- and that she'd be out of town during the following afternoon for work but would return at a decent our and would call when she was on her way back. She also mentioned a work-related event on for the night of our date, but said she was going to tell her colleagues she couldn't make it. The afternoon of our scheduled date, she texted to say she might not be able to make it back to town as early as she'd thought, but would let me know. Later, she called to say she was back but that she had to go to the work event, so the bottom line was that we didn't have enough time to get together. She proposed rescheduling for the next day/night, but I already had plans, so I said I couldn't but that I'd come up with a fun idea for sometime in the coming week.

In conclusion, I'm really torn on how to analyze this and how to play it from here. I think there may be a chance I didn't show quite enough interest when she went out on a limb several times to express her enthusiasm and suggest an additional meet-up. I mean, I gave some indication, but it's possible I played it too cool. Then again, she flaked on the date. Maybe she really did need to go to this work event, and maybe she felt bad about not being able to stick to our plans -- there were definitely signs of that, but it was hard to judge the credibility of the story. Still, I feel like she could have done a better job of communicating that sooner.

So I could simply give her the benefit of the doubt and go ahead and propose a new plan for sometime soon. Or I could hold off a few days or until she initiates contact -- whichever comes first -- as a mini-freeze-out, before suggesting a new plan.

I'd love to hear your thoughts/suggestions.

Peace,
Ciornia

ok

Personally I try to give everyone one chance, if they fuck up the second time I ditch them. She used up her one chance now. I would make plans again and see. If she bails, ignore her she is waisting your time.

I mean that's me, I am pretty new to this PUA thing but I reckon everyone fucks up once so it's worth a shot.

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I'm just two people short of a threesome!

If she just didn't want to go for any reason other than this work event, she wouldn't have made multiple attempts to contact you and explain the situation. I think this was a legitimate excuse.

Reschedule, maybe show a little more enthusiasm (I think you might have been a touch too nonchalant) and see what happens. This one deserves a second chance.

Your boy,
870

_________________
"Do not blame, call out, alpha male, superman, or water sprinkle any hoes. And what will be, will be." -Hobbit

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I guess I was just feeling disappointed and acting silly. Thanks, gentlemen, for the reality check!

Oh, and I've rescheduled

Love it's taking it's natural wonderful course here - the only way you could screw it up is by acting out of fear, like that "freeze out" you proposed. Don't be stupid. You're the prize, you're interested in her, you two have a special connection, show it by responding to IOIs with more IOIs.

Of course people tend to place higher value on things that are more difficult to obtain; this is where the "make them work for you" routines come in to play. However, one should also realize that if you make things too difficult, they'll resent you for it. Balance in all things . . .

As a casual Redsox fan, (go to a few games a few times a year and follow the standings) I used to get a kick out of the die-hard fans. (pre-04' championships) They'd cry over playoff losses or those long Augusts when the Sox would inevitably lose their #1 standing to the Yankees. I can understand their frustrations . . . Prior to 04' the Sox hadn't won a Championship since 1918. So at first sign of the team falling apart, you'd hear, "Here we go again, we suck . . ."

On the other hand, the Yankees could be in last place in July and what would their fans say? "Whatever . . . we'll come back in August. . ." What happens when they lose an opportunity at a championship? They'd shrug their shoulders and go, "Oh well, we'll get em' next year . . ."

There is a difference between confidence and aloofness. There is a difference between aloofness and hopelessness. You're an older guy. You already know what it is like to game chicks and create attraction. You won't get them all and you know this as well. All you can do is present yourself with some pride and sometimes you'll get em', sometimes you won't. There's no reason to dissect every little situation that comes along. Sometimes they'll have diarrhea that day. Sometimes they'll have a bad pms day . . . bad hair day, bad fight with the parents day, she ordered but received the wrong handbag day. Who knows? Who really cares?

It would be one thing if your game sucked and you have multiple issues. But if you've had success with what you've been doing, just keep showing up and running your game over, over, and over again.

It's not your game . . . it's simply the nature life. There is a World that exists outside of you that you simply cannot control. So what can you control? Keep working on those things. . .

I dont see a problem here honestly...

I think it sounds like she was really disappointed too. I mean, she wanted to meet you but stuff went wrong.

A girl will tell you that she wanna meet you for 2 reasons.

1. She wanna meet you.
2. She wanna keep you interested but the timing is wrong for her...

I think you should rescedule, she wwants to meet, so give her the night of her life!

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I'm not trying to be a dick Ezo, but you're being a Pick Up Snob in my opinion.

bbardot: you just reminded me about porn

Agreed -- I was definitely overcomplicating things. But I really appreciate all the helpful feedback. And I went out with her and we had a great time

kasabi, your statement about just running one's game over and over and over again reminds me of a quotation I came across awhile ago from Samuel Beckett, the great Irish writer, in which he speaks at once to the importance of persistence, the necessary acceptance of failure on the road to success, and improvement through practice:

Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better.
--Samuel Beckett

Peace,
Ciornia