I've been hanging out with two girls lately. With the first, Y, I've moved from first meeting to sex in 3 dates, 12 hours total. She seems pretty strongly attracted to me and things proceeded pretty well, without even the tiniest bit of LMR, so I think I'm doing something right.

The second, S, I've spent a lot more time with (around 20 hours I think), but can't get past making out with. Every time we're making out and I try to escalate to something more sexual she puts the brakes on. I really thought tonight was going to be it because she invited me over to her house to eat some leftover food from a bbq that she had yesterday (I was there, but I spent most of my time interacting with other people, and I didn't linger after the party was over). We watched a couple of movies and did some cuddling/making-out but that was it.

I think either I haven't built enough attraction, or she is withholding sex because she doesn't want to ruin the possibility of a relationship. But she does a lot of the pursuing, asking me to meet her, etc.

So I think my options are:
1) build more attraction.
2) back off on any physical stuff.
3) back off completely and force her to pursue me.
4) tell her about jobs I'm applying for that are quite remote.
5) find someway to mention that she's not the only girl I'm seeing.
6) try and sexually escalate quickly and freeze out if she backs off.

Right now I'm leaning toward some combination of 2,3,4. Any thoughts?

You say she's the one doing a lot of the pursuing? My guess is that she thinks you're not committed enough to her and that you'll leave right after you get sex. She obviously doesn't have a problem with you trying to get sex, she just doesn't want you to get it because she thinks you'll become disinterested after you get it. She's using cat-string theory on you!

Try doing some of the Mystery stuff to get her to feel like you're not gonna leave her after sex. Next time you're in private, plan on her rejecting you and have something else fun to do (board game, funny movie, videogames, just talk, whatever you can think of) so when you freeze her out you can show her you're still going to be there even after everything's done. Hopefully that'll work.

If not, she's probably just using you for validation, and wont ever have sex with you.

Good luck bro!

Yeah, she's definitely using cat-string theory on me. She just texted me something like "working on my laptop in bed is not a good idea" I think to get me thinking of her in bed. Last night too she was showing me all the bruises on her legs from where she fell off her bike, and where her tanlines ended, etc. Ok, will try the Mystery stuff next time.

Well new update, she was at my house and we were watching TV, and then we were making out and things started to get sexual, but I started leading her to the bedroom and she let me get halfway there and then stopped me and said that she should go. So I said ok, we made out a little more and I asked her shouldn't she be going? Then my dog needed to go out, so I took the dog out and I walked her to her car and she left. Texted her a bit this morning. Not sure where I should go from here.

One thing, I haven't mentioned anything to her that I am seeing other women. I've mentioned hanging out with other friends who are women but I am not sure if that is too indirect to indicate that I have other options. Would it be beneficial for me to be more direct about the fact that she isn't the only woman in my life? If so, how should I mention it without making it seem like I'm mentioning it specifically to manipulate her or anything?

Sex comes before a relationship. Just make out with her, but for a good 10-15 minutes. Take your shirt off first. Take her shirt off. Tell her to stand up, and then get behind her and pop her bra off. Too be honest, I think people make a much bigger deal out of last minute resistance than is really there, because I've never had a problem with it. The best way to beat it, if she gives it to you, is not to try to hard. If you genuinely don't give a shit if she fucks you or not, then she will be forced to get hers instead of having you give it to her.

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Well I'm seeing her again tonight. I think I'll just tell her straight up that I'm not looking for a girlfriend and she can decide how she wants to fit into my life, either as just a friend or in a sexual relationship. At this point, I don't much care either way since I'm sleeping with one other girl at the moment anyway.