ONLINE DATING QUESTION ~ ASK J SMOOTH!!!



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PostPosted: Thu Jun 24, 2010 4:02 pm 
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So is Jon still answering people's online game questions, or is he taking a break from the community, either temporarily or permanently. If so, who else can the forum appoint, to answer questions.
Hydro,

I have been taking a break. You are welcome to PM me your question if you like or post it up for all of us to look at.

J

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 30, 2010 12:28 am 
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Glad to see you back on here Jsmooth. A big re-addition to the quality posters on this forum.


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 30, 2010 2:09 am 
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Glad to see you back on here Jsmooth. A big re-addition to the quality posters on this forum.
Thank you Fogell! I'm glad to see you still around my friend. How have you been?


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 30, 2010 5:46 am 
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Thank you Fogell! I'm glad to see you still around my friend. How have you been?
Thanks. Ive been doing great. This summer, has been by far the most productive summer in all aspects of my life. As far as game is concerned though I've really made some serious progress, despite the fact that Im only able to go out one night a week. Im really looking forward to where Im headed with all this stuff. Im moving to New York in the fall to start college, so Im also really excited about that. Anyways, how bout yourself? What have you been up to while you've been on hiatus from this place?


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jun 30, 2010 12:40 pm 
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Hi. I'm currently talking to this chick on pof..it's been about a week or two. I'm not actually trying to get her[I think her husband/bf just died], and she looked so depressed based on her profile and pics, so I started messaging her to try and cheer her up. My first message I gave her my phone number if she ever wanted to talk or needed a friend, and she said she didnt have her phone turned on or something like that. I'm not really into logging on that site just to send her a message every day. I think shes cool and pretty and want to possibly chill with her but I just hate using this site to stay in contact. What should I do?


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jun 30, 2010 11:17 pm 
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Hi. I'm currently talking to this chick on pof..it's been about a week or two. I'm not actually trying to get her[I think her husband/bf just died], and she looked so depressed based on her profile and pics, so I started messaging her to try and cheer her up. My first message I gave her my phone number if she ever wanted to talk or needed a friend, and she said she didnt have her phone turned on or something like that. I'm not really into logging on that site just to send her a message every day. I think shes cool and pretty and want to possibly chill with her but I just hate using this site to stay in contact. What should I do?
B-randon,

Well, if you don't have her contact information other than the website then it stands to reason we will have to use the site some to contact her again. In my next message to her via the site I would include my # again and offer for her to text you since that is a little easier to commit to. OR you could instead of a # give her an instant messenger that you are on frequently for her to contact you.

I will be honest if it's been a couple of weeks since you spoke to her then it's going to be tough to build the momentum back up for her to talk to you and possibly see you as a lot can happen in that time frame.

Best of luck to you sir,

Jon


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 01, 2010 1:00 am 
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Jon, it's great to see you back and I hope everything is well with you, The online game board has been totally dead in your absence and always is whenever you take a break. I have 2 questions :

1) If one is messaging for the first time, what you think is a fake female profile, can you please suggest a witty scripted message and also a scripted subject line, where whether she's real or fake is brought up (politely and wittily, without sounding demanding and aggressive) because of the 1 photo on the profile and you're therefore asking the female to qualify herself and prove she's for real
(as in send more photos and prove she knows something about your city), before
you proceed with sending another proper message.

2) While most women are on a standard dating site to date and meet, for those who occasionally say on their profile they're on for talk/EMail only, can you please suggest a scripted opening message and also subject line to use (for such women) and/or a strategy to use, to encourage them to meet (without being demanding or insistent about it), as most AFC guys would be, or to not even raise the topic at all
in an opening message.


Last edited by Hydro1 on Fri Jul 02, 2010 5:21 am, edited 2 times in total.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Jul 01, 2010 12:56 pm 
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Quote:
Hi. I'm currently talking to this chick on pof..it's been about a week or two. I'm not actually trying to get her[I think her husband/bf just died], and she looked so depressed based on her profile and pics, so I started messaging her to try and cheer her up. My first message I gave her my phone number if she ever wanted to talk or needed a friend, and she said she didnt have her phone turned on or something like that. I'm not really into logging on that site just to send her a message every day. I think shes cool and pretty and want to possibly chill with her but I just hate using this site to stay in contact. What should I do?
B-randon,

Well, if you don't have her contact information other than the website then it stands to reason we will have to use the site some to contact her again. In my next message to her via the site I would include my # again and offer for her to text you since that is a little easier to commit to. OR you could instead of a # give her an instant messenger that you are on frequently for her to contact you.

I will be honest if it's been a couple of weeks since you spoke to her then it's going to be tough to build the momentum back up for her to talk to you and possibly see you as a lot can happen in that time frame.

Best of luck to you sir,

Jon
Actually I've been sending her a message almost every day. I quit logging on every morning a few days ago, and I'm starting to think of deleting my profile and starting it up another time because right now I need my focus to be on other things in my life. I'll probably give her my # again and then delet my profile. Thanks for the response 8)


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Jul 08, 2010 5:48 pm 
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Well, this is a humbling experience.

I'm trying to think of something to use as a match.com profile, but I'm choking. I don't know what to write, and I'm afraid to look like an asshole. I'm not big on revealing information.

How should I go about it?


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 Post subject: Help With HB8
PostPosted: Mon Jul 12, 2010 3:18 am 
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Hey J, wondering if you could guide me on what to do in this situation.

Here it is;

So this Blonde HB8 added me on facebook, and within seconds of accepting her friend request she chatted me saying "hey" etc. etc.

I asked her how she knew me and had seen me at a sporting tournament I was competing in on the weekend, but she was to shy to talk to me.

SO anyways turns out she added me after she saw a topless photo of me (LOL) and that she lives in Australia. (I live in New Zealand)

I asked her where in Aussie she lives and turns out I have another tournament 30 minutes from here house at the end of this year, and she promised to come and see me.

She's gave me heaps of IOI's and i got her MSN (cant number close because of different countries) and she asked me to web cam with her but it was late so I just said I had to go and went to bed.


I haven't talked to her since and I'm wondering what I should/shouldn't say/do so that I can successfully f-close her at the end of the year. (This is pretty much my first time doing 'long distance' and 'online' gaming :D)


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Jul 13, 2010 5:20 am 
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Jon, it's great to see you back and I hope everything is well with you, The online game board has been totally dead in your absence and always is whenever you take a break. I have 2 questions :
Sorry to hear that. I am back off and on as I can be. I have some complicated things going on in my life right now but trying to make the most of it all.
Quote:
1) If one is messaging for the first time, what you think is a fake female profile, can you please suggest a witty scripted message and also a scripted subject line, where whether she's real or fake is brought up (politely and wittily, without sounding demanding and aggressive) because of the 1 photo on the profile and you're therefore asking the female to qualify herself and prove she's for real
(as in send more photos and prove she knows something about your city), before
you proceed with sending another proper message.
I don't really right scripts for people to follow because I want people to think for themselves. Plus there is a big difference in the way I speak and you speak to people. I would approach it normally until I had good reason to believe it was a fake profile. It doesn't happen as often as you think...I would give the person the benefit of the doubt and approach it like any other girls profile I came across.
Quote:
2) While most women are on a standard dating site to date and meet, for those who occasionally say on their profile they're on for talk/EMail only, can you please suggest a scripted opening message and also subject line to use (for such women) and/or a strategy to use, to encourage them to meet (without being demanding or insistent about it), as most AFC guys would be, or to not even raise the topic at all
in an opening message.
IF that is the way they feel you can always go about it like a normal online pickup and assume that she is going to meet up with you. Once you get her talking the hardest part is over. There are some girls that will like you enough they will want to meet, and some will stick to their guns only wanting to talk and email. For those, it's better not to waste your time plowing through that objection online...it's easier to find another girl to message.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Jul 13, 2010 5:22 am 
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Well, this is a humbling experience.

I'm trying to think of something to use as a match.com profile, but I'm choking. I don't know what to write, and I'm afraid to look like an asshole. I'm not big on revealing information.

How should I go about it?
You don't know what to write for which part of the profile? Headline, About You area, what you are looking for area? You can tell people about yourself without revealing private information.


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 Post subject: Re: Help With HB8
PostPosted: Tue Jul 13, 2010 5:26 am 
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Hey J, wondering if you could guide me on what to do in this situation.

Here it is;

So this Blonde HB8 added me on facebook, and within seconds of accepting her friend request she chatted me saying "hey" etc. etc.

I asked her how she knew me and had seen me at a sporting tournament I was competing in on the weekend, but she was to shy to talk to me.

SO anyways turns out she added me after she saw a topless photo of me (LOL) and that she lives in Australia. (I live in New Zealand)

I asked her where in Aussie she lives and turns out I have another tournament 30 minutes from here house at the end of this year, and she promised to come and see me.

She's gave me heaps of IOI's and i got her MSN (cant number close because of different countries) and she asked me to web cam with her but it was late so I just said I had to go and went to bed.


I haven't talked to her since and I'm wondering what I should/shouldn't say/do so that I can successfully f-close her at the end of the year. (This is pretty much my first time doing 'long distance' and 'online' gaming :D)
Dude this isn't just a long distance relationship but you are talking about "marathon" style game. Meaning you are going to have to keep both the comfort and attraction going for basically another 5 months. The good thing is you have time to do all you need to. I would web cam with her as a way to more closely connect with her, but keep in mind a lot can happen in 5 months. She could find a BF you could find a girlfriend.

To give you what to say and not to say for the next five months would take me a little too long to type out. The best thing I can tell you to do is share your stories about your life, what have you done, and what your ambitions are for the future. Likewise, listen to what she has to say as well.

My sincere recommendation would be to message her when you can, and focus a little more on someone in your area that you can meet sooner.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jul 14, 2010 8:57 am 
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thanks J,

and yes of course i will not have her as my main focus , that would be stupid. but i am just not familar with online, long distance gaming, i thought it would be a good idea to ask around and get an experts opinion 8)


thanks again,

akaPanda


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jul 14, 2010 5:59 pm 
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J, i was hoping to get your view on this....

Me:the excitement n the energy showing in your display pic really catches attention! I just had to mention this.. :)
Is this place mocha's?

Her:the important question is not wat place it is..but if at all i know u ?! thanks for the compliment anyhow..

Me:U know, I feel the important question is, do we always have to know people before we talk to them? how then would one meet exciting ppl?
The world would become such boring place then, wont it...

Just that I liked your pic.. no big deal! :)

While I have your attention, I need a female's prespective on something.....My roommate is friends with his ex-girlfriend..just platonic...they speak like once a week.But for some reason his current girlfriend is freaking out about this and wants him to stop speaking to her or she's threatening to break up with him. Should he, or is she just over reacting?

Her:Im amazed at the liberty that uv taken in asking tht question but nevertheless, it doesnt interest me to comment anything on anyone's personal problems. And i dont use internet to meet/date people. I just use it to reconnect with old acquaintances.. So, there u go..

How can I get back to her?


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