2010-03-19 Friday
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I call Mouse and tell her I'd like her to come over. She agrees, so I pick her up at her dorm and we walk back to my place. Again, we roll around naked, but we don't have sex. At this point, I'm very frustrated. For some reason, I begin thinking that she is just messing around with me to get validation or something. It's dumb; she clearly likes me. Maybe I've been acting childish and pushy about sex, so that's where I am losing attraction, but on the whole it's fine.
I had it in my head from the community that I need to get past LMR as quickly as possible. Let her know you want to have sex with her, but if she's not ready, whatever. Don't push the idea at all, roll around for a bit more, then go to sleep. She may change her mind that night or she may not. If she's already in your bed though and if you can keep up the passion in the relationship, sex will happen.
As we walk back to her dorm, it's obvious that I am really frustrated. Mouse stops me on the sidewalk. She takes my hand, pulls me to the side, and she asks me what's wrong. It was really sweet of her.
After we talk a little, she asks yet again why I like her. Frustrated, I joke, "Gee, maybe it is because you're Asian." Now, for a lot Asian girls, this is probably a sore spot. Mouse, offended, says good night and walks away. I am tired of always trying so hard with Mouse, so I just let her go, which leaves me feeling like this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch#!v=K2CfIK7 ... re=related
When I get back home, we text back and forth. I get a phone call from Emma saying that Mouse had called her sounding really upset. I call Mouse. We talk about it and come to some sort of peace.
Relationships are like traveling with another person. If one person wants to move more slowly, you have to slow down too. If you try to rush the other person along, it won't work. The only other way I can think of to make things move faster is to just relax concentrate on making the relationship as awesome and fun as possible.
My relationship with Mouse was characterized by my making all the moves. I did not let her decide that she was okay with moving things forward. I always put pressure on her. If I had relaxed, our relationship in general would have been better.
Also, notice that Mouse always would ask me why I liked her. I obviously did not give her enough reason for my advances. When a girl says or does something cool, let her know. You can go as far as saying, "It's cool how you are such and such. I find that really sexy."
The other thing that came through during this relationship was that I was egotistical about my ability to pick up girls, which is weird because I am not all that good at it. Your ego can hurt you a lot. Be careful.
Also, relationships are a great way to improve your game in general, especially in a relationship with a lot of communication. The girl is already committed. She would rather talk it out than walk away. You can learn a lot from the feedback you get.
Relationship management is about how to relate to people who have committed to you in someway - coworkers, business partners, family, friends, spouse. For this reason, try to get into relationships and try to learn from them as much as you can. Maybe you'll find, like I did, that the principles that make a relationship work are different applications of the principles that mean solid game in the field.
CHAT