Hey guys!

First of all I'm really sorry if this doesn't belong to your forums. I don't know what else to turn to. I'm going to try to keep it short so you don't get all too bored with my problem.

I'm a 22 year old male. During my life I've had sex with 3 different women, all of these women were people that I really loved and cared for. It seems to be in my nature that I only want to have sex with women that I'm really found of and I find it very hard to accept or understand people who not think the same way as me. I'm very aware of that society today has an extremely different way of looking at sex than me. My main reason for posting this thread is the girlfriend that I have right now (the 3rd one). She has had a sexual behaviour totally differentiating from mine. She was a virgin until the age of 19 and since than has had sex with A LOT of guys during the last 3 years. She even had sex with different guys during the time that she was in love with me, although we were not together then. It still gives me a lot of pain knowing that she is capable of having sex with different guys although she was in love with me during that time. Don't get me wrong, I'm not worried of her cheating on me, BUT I find it very hard to understand how she can be capable of doing something like that without feeling terrible.

My main goal with this thread is to change MY point of view regarding this topic. I'm so sick of feeling so very strongly about this matter, it really kills me everyday and I want to adapt to societies point of view. It seems so much easier than my way... I really want to be with this girl because I love every other aspect with her, except the sexual one, which is a major building stone in my personality. I'm not even able to have sex with this girl because I panic and can't even get it up and sometimes even throw up. How can I be "cured" from this disease which kills me bit for bit every day?

Best regards,

Sven

In my opinion, it sounds like this is something that truly affects at a deep subconscious level. This sounds like something that calls for personal change rather than pure convincing with logic. Essential Skills 3D Mind sounds like the perfect thing for you.

Thank you for your reply DemonAbumi!

I totally agree with you. This is a major issue for me, which has been affecting me for my intire life. It's not just a little crappy problem, but a major one, which has been eating me from the inside. I've actively been avoiding people being like mentioned in my first post, shutting them outside from my life. This is not possible in this scenario and it is nothing that I want in this situation, because I really like this girl. I rather want to get a deaper insight in myself and conquer this problem once and for all.

You said something about "Essential Skills 3D Mind". What is this for and where can I find it?

I also would like to add that a would need some help in boosting my self confidence, feeling better and happier about myself. This would maybe lead to a better life where I stop worrying about things all the time. I just want to be happy. I'm eating anti depressives and going on regular basis to a psycologist, it has help me in the way of actually being able to go up on the morning and going to the university. The problem is that I'm still not happy. Does anyone have any tips for me?

I appriciate your taken time!

Best regards,

Sven

Put thick black line starting now.

If she fucks anyone more - spool her in toilet.

If not - she is worth efforts. As long as YOU will not treat her as guilty all the time. Nobody can live with such pressure and still have healhy mind.
If you are not capable to do it - save her and yourself lot of pain.

Ball on your field.

Thank you for your answer returner!

Some comments:

My problem is that I don't know if I'm able to put a black starting line from know. I don't know if I'm even able to live with a person with such values and such a past. I really really want to, because I like her so much. Due to that reason I wish to get rid of a, in my opinion, extremely exaggerated problem. Nevertheless I certainly feel like I do, but I wish to change that.

Yes I would not stand it if she would do something with someone else now.

I'm also aware of that I can't treat her as guilty all the time. Though I really need to work on this problem, otherwise I am the one without a healthy mind in our relationship.

I don't know if I'm able to do it. All I know is that I REALLY want to get rid of this problem, for myself and for our future relationship. That's basically the reason for me posting here. I need help with this issue, to conquer and understand it and receive a better life.

Best regards,

Sven

can u think of a trigger for ur belief?...is it a religous thing, ur parents telling u this kind of stuff is wrong at a young age, or something else? sometimes being aware of these things will help u move forward

Sven.
You don't have to do ANYTHING. neither to put lines or adopt your behavior to to womens expectations, etc.
Do whatever you want, in my opinion it is good NOT to overthink things and be aware that ANY action brings kind of results. LACK of action - as well.

Thank you WD and returner217 for your answers!

WD: I've been trying to work out why I feel the way I feel about this. I'm most certain that it is not a religious matter. I'm not entirely sure that it has anything to do with my parents either, but it is rather that than religion. I'm a simple guy thinking that love is something beautiful and sex is something that belongs to that category. Therefore I'm very hurt and sad about her behaviour, although it never was ment to hurt me.

returner217: Could you try to develop your post a bit? I'm not entirely sure that I got the point. I'm aware of being a independant man and thus should not adopt to womens expectations etc. The thing is that she isn't expecting much from me in this case? It's rather me struggeling a lot with a issue that is killing me, while I actually want to be with her so much. That's what tearing me apart, I can't be happy like this. I totally agree with the point of not overthinking things to much, sadly enough I really tend to do that. I'm not sure how to interpret your last to lines regarding this matter?

I really want to conquer this problem and to be a happier man, but I'm clueless how to do it. Any help is very appriciated, and so are your answer in this thread!

Best regards,

Sven