FR#58: Mouse, the First Night
2010-03-15 Monday
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Foreword:
Three months have passed since my last post. I fell out of Pick Up, yeah, but I fell out
because of Pick Up. So, I dedicate these next few "FRs" - some of the best weeks of my year - to you guys.
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Two of my closest friends at NYU, a couple, invite me to dinner. Their names? Fonzie and Emma. Emma invited me out, saying her friend, Mouse, would be there. Mouse, huh? Better be a cutie!
I arrive. My friends are drinking wine in the common room. Someone pours me a glass as Emma introduces me to Mouse. She is standoffish and cold.
I have met many indifferent girls over the past year. The technical term is "bitch". In reality, they are often feeling shy and uncomfortable. Or they've been approached by idiots so much that they have to act cold. Either way, they are often sexy, sometimes smart girls. Don't hate.
Mouse is cute, though I don't get a good look at her. I feel like her defenses are up. I don't want her to shut me out automatically just because I glanced at her too much.
I chat with my friends and look for opportunities to involve Mouse, who is quiet. When she mentions she likes something, I tease her about it to engage her emotionally. For example, she says she loves bunnies. I go on a tangent about foreign cultures and foods, ending with how people eat rabbit in China. Evil, right?
I didn't try make conversation with her. I just started talking at the group, but mostly at her. This is social circle game. If she ignores me, it will be weird.
I also engaged her emotionally. It does not matter if the emotions are positive or negative as long as they are light and fun.
The conversation turns to video games. Mouse looks bored. I know I'm bored - the last video game I played was Baldur's Gate II (RIP). I talk about video games as well, but I twist it into something more interesting, to me at least. It went something like, "It's been forever since I've played video games. Most of it is a waste of time probably, but if you think about it, video games could be a really cool interactive way to explore themes. Fonzie wrote a paper last semester about these Japanese video games that discuss blah blah..."
The idea is that Mouse feels I'm inclusive, intelligent, and different from most guys.
Fonze, Emma, Mouse, and I go for pizza. As we walk, Emma and Fonze couple up, so I walk with Mouse. I kino her as we talk about random small things in my day and she warms up.
Apparently, Mouse was thinking, "Oh, Sparrow is pretty friendly. I'm glad he is gay, otherwise I don't think I'd like him touching me like this!" My gestures and style come off as gay I suppose. I don't want to seem gay, but there are PUAs who use this trait to their advantage - my wingman Rufio, Sabastian, Style. Whatever though. She was my girl for three months until she left NYC, so it didn't hurt me that much!
One more thing about coming off gay:
I was talking with Rufio's girl (yeah, Rufio got steady too!) and she also thought he was gay at first, which also made her feel more comfortable.
Rufio sometimes parties with a guy who comes off flamboyantly gay. The guy is not a PUA, but he usually makes out with several girls throughout the night and sometimes pulls. Effeminate or masculine - it apparently does not matter.
So, what does matter? I'd say the following:
1. Balls - You take risks: risk rejection, risk failure, whatever. Don't let fear hold you back. Tell a girl you want her. Start a business. Drop your shitty job, move to another country, and learn a new language. Of course, think stuff through as well.
2. Fun - You give love. People are generally smiling with you around.
3. Leading - You take initiative. You don't defer to others.
4. Chill - You don't get pissed off or super sad for nothing. You don't take the small stuff seriously.
These are all things you can learn to be.
We sit down for pizza. I want to sit by Mouse. Emma sees my intentions and says, "Ladies on this side of the table. Guys on the other side." First, I am annoyed, but whatever.
I turn to Mouse. "It's good Emma is here to prevent sexy guys like me from hitting on pretty girls like you." Mouse giggles and Miss grins at me incredulously.
Saying that was pretty scary! I'm glad Fonzie didn't hear. Stuff like that should be kept between you and someone else, otherwise it's embarrassing for the girl. Also, I'd move onto another topic quickly. Mine was: "So, uh...wow, it's really bright in here." We were in a dimly lit pizza shop by the way.
Over dinner, we fluff. She throws some shit tests. I also discover she has not seen Avatar. I hype it up a little and Fonze and Emma follow suit (I saw it with them). I tell Mouse that my roommate, Rufio, hasn't seen it yet and that she can come with us on Thursday. She agrees.
I remember always wondered how to deal with shit tests. One way to deal with shit tests now is to just not deal with them. For example, the worst shit test I ever got was: "I want to have sex with you." We were in public, standing in front of one of her sculptures. My response? "Uhh...sex...? Yes!"
Better: "Yeah, so..." then you just talk about something else or continue with what you were saying like nothing happened.
Walking back, Emma wants to watch Pan's Labyrinth. Mouse wants to get up early, but Emma is a very persuasive girl. Anyway, it's Spring Break.
Upstairs in Fonze's room, I sit next to Mouse during the movie. We're under blankets, so kino is easy. Before the movie, I thumb wrestle Mouse, then pretend to palm reading. I make it obvious I'm bullshitting, but she keeps her hand in mine. I think she just likes the contact.
P.S. Pan's Labyrinth is a good movie to watch - a lot of suspenseful scenes where you can get physical. I ruffle her hair or grab her at certain times.
The movie finishes. I offer Mouse a massage. She starts to refuse, but I don't wait for her answer. I just do it. Soon enough, she is falling asleep against me.
Later, she said the fact that I just went ahead with it really annoyed her. 
Finally, it is 4 AM and I wake Mouse. Her dorm is on the way to my apartment, so I walk her home. I want to kiss her, but I'm scared.
In front of her dorm, she says good night and turns away. I put my hand on her and pull her toward me. "Before you go, I want a good night kiss." In retrospect, I should have just gone for it, slowly though.
"Why?" She says.
"I had a great night and I am attracted to you." She takes my hand in hers and giggles.
"I don't know..." She says as she locks fingers with me and squeezes my hand. It's so on.
"Aww, you're breaking my heart. I'm going home to cry now." She walks toward her dorm. Over her shoulder, she beams at me.
"Don't cry yet! There's always next time!"
Rufio, Dark, and I heard it from Juggler first: Tell a girl how you feel and let her simmer with it. Tell a girl what your intentions at. Try it out!
One thing I forgot was to qualify Mouse. Definitely qualify girls before you try to kiss them.
CHAT