My girlfriend told me when we started dating, that the two weeks before whilst we were just "hooking up" she was sleeping with one other guy. Last night she told me I was actually the fourth guy that week ( I wanted to puke) and the week before she "made out" with three guys at the same party. News to me my GF is the town slut....

I'm super confused at how to feel right now. My emotions are everywhere. It isn't like she cheated or anything, and she wouldn't cheat on me, but that's kinda excessive. It makes me question who she is as a person, and how that reflects on me..

Had I known she was such a slut, I wouldn't have given her my time of day out of self-respect. But now, one month in as I start to catch more feelings for her, she springs this on me.

I need advice.

Look...if she's very smart ,good looking,matching your standards and so forth so that you want a relationship with her i say keep her.
maybe she just wanted to have fun with those guys,not necessarily seek their validation.i don't know this,you might be able to tell.
However IF
you wanted a relationship just for the sake of a relationship,and she's the 1st chick that got the "bait"...
i have only 1 advice mate : be fun,escalate,but don't invest like AT ALL.

So she wasn't a slut for "hooking up" with you, just the 3 before you (even though, technically, you were the 4th for the week, not the first, it would be your hook up that pushed the number into uncomfortable territory).

your jealous that she was getting sex with multiples and you weren't.

better question is to ask why your playing the numbers game (why ask a chick how many people she's been with... when was her latest std screening? yep ask that, has she ever cheated? good idea if your settling down. what does she like in the bedroom? damn right ask that. does she mind if you jam it in her butt? ask if you wish to jam it in, but the numbers game???)

It's the one question that no good comes out of. either you feel insignificant because your number 51, or you get lied to and told your number 3... it doesn't change her as a person. some of the skankiest, sex for validation, cheating whores i've met have "low" guy numbers... and some wonderful chicks see 3 guys a week while they're single for the simple fact that they can... and they want to!


on the flip side of all this. if she's done the "multiple hook up at party" and the "have a different sex partner each night of the week" and she's had the cheap thrills of random lays, she's much less likely to feel she "missed out" on that, and decide to break your heart so she can "test" the waters.
if you really think she's the town slut, dump her. now. not because she IS, but because you really don't respect her enough to be with her.

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If you want to know how to be successful with women, learn to obediance train your dog...

Deal with it like this:

Everything she did before she decided to go exclusive with you: None of your business.

Everything else: Your business.

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I'm not trying to be a dick Ezo, but you're being a Pick Up Snob in my opinion.

bbardot: you just reminded me about porn

I agree Ezo. I need to accept it, mine is no better, so I can't judge her. It's college.

You can do it man! You rock!

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I'm not trying to be a dick Ezo, but you're being a Pick Up Snob in my opinion.

bbardot: you just reminded me about porn

I agree 100% with this!!

If you care about her, what does her past matter? I also don't know why you even want to know how many other guys she has been with - she is with you now and you say she won't cheat on you, so that's all that matters right?

I have a friend who is exactly like your girlfriend - she was the type of girl who loves to flirt and hook up with guys (lots of them!) when she was single. Because she just wanted to have fun and she wasn't hurting anyone in doing so. However, she then met her boyfriend and fell hard for him. She is now like a housewife and would do anything for him - she is so comitted to him.
Don't think about it like that!! She was just a party girl who liked to have fun while she was single - if the roles had been reversed and you had been doing what she had, there wouldn't be an issue would there??
This is in her past - you are her future. Get to know her but don't be upset if she is different to the person you thought she was. If she has changed (it is possible), then accept her for the person she is now. We all go through our wild stages - this must have been hers. Give her a chance - if she fucks it up, move on but who's to say that she hasn't changed and actually cares about you. How this reflects on you? No offence, but fuck that's selfish! Are you worried that other guys are going to look down on you because you have a hot experienced girlfriend? Are you worried that being with her makes you look like a low value person? It only will if you carry yourself that way and allow people to see you that way.

And, if she wasn't experienced, she probably wouldn't be the type of girl you would want to be with anyway. Hate to break it to you, but the majority of hot girls are NOT delicate virgins.
Again, no offense but this is so fucking selfish and it makes me really angry because I have a friend who is in love with her boyfriend who said the exact same things at the beginning of their relationship. Just because she was a party girl and liked to have fun. She was never even a slut - she just went out partying a lot. The fact that he thought being with her portrayed him as low value was what nearly ruined their relationship, because she could tell he felt that way towards her. Your girlfriend does not deserve to be treated like this. If you are going to keep projecting negative feelings onto her, then you should break up with her because, honestly she deserves better than this. Especially as it seems she is trying to change her ways and become more settled down.

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....Thought you might like a girl's opinion....

So if you saw a girl make out with 3 different guys at the same party, you wouldn't think she's a slut?

I bet you 90% of the people at that party thought she was a slut. INCLUDING girls.

But that's beside the point.

The point of this thread is that:

The OP current GF is not up to his standards, and he doesn't know what to do.

My advice, if it bothers you that much, cut your losses. It's only been a month. It's not a long time.

Go out find someone that meets your standards, you'll be better off.

Sure, you might be able to "forget" about her past for awhile, but sooner or later she's going to talk about her past experiences. You are not content with her sexual past so there's no point in staying in the relationship.

I don't agree.

My girlfriend's sexual past is TOTALLY my business. Why? Chances of STD's, has she been checked out before, and other things could arise.

My sexual past is also TOTALLY her business for the same reasons.

90% of guys think that PU methods are misogonistic, counterproductive, and down right stupid... majority vote doesn't = right.

too right most the girls would think of her that way. social programming and jealousy is a curse. bet any of the girls that thought of her as a slut would also be able to justify the actions if they got the opportunity to make out with brad pitt/edward norton/justin timberlake all in the same night... we all know that a woman will always work a pseudo-logical justification into why her emotional state is right.

the guys at the party only think she's a "slut" for not hooking up with them too.

but you are right, someones standards in the relationship aren't being met... HERS.

if you want a hot girl that will have sex before marriage, you can't expect to be the only notch on her bedpost.

if you have to "deal" with her past by repressing it, you need to deal with your feelings of inadequacy, and stop projecting them on others. it's not HER fault you haven't been successful with women your whole life. It's situations like this that women use to justify not dating "nice" guys. an arsehole will treat her like an arsehole from day one, it's nothing personal. a "nice" guy will treat her like crap over who she is AFTER she's trusted him enough to share her story.
what other things could arise?

i challenge you to find ONE thing that asking the number/frequency/colour/length/girth of her previous sexual experiences will uncover that more directed questions won't uncover...

STD'S? = when was your last STD check. was it clear? are you willing to go for another one, and i will do the same?

Jealous ex's (funnily enough, these tend to be the non-sexual guys in her life too) = Is there any reason i should have to worry about vandalism of my car parked out the front of yours? have you ever been stalked? (follow this by "do you want to be ")

Children = "do you have any children i should know about?"

what can you learn from a census of her previous experiences?

i mean the number she's been with is NOT really directly correlated to any of the things you need to know.

she could get HIV from her first partner, or from unsafe needle use. a smart girl can have 100 different partners, all using protection, and not get an STD ever. the risk isn't directly correlated to the number of partners.

jealous ex lays. again, the guy who popped her cherry, her 5 year live in boyfriend etc is more likely to seek revenge than a notch on her bedpost.

children. again. goes without saying, this comes down to how smart she is with protection... NOT number of partners.

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If you want to know how to be successful with women, learn to obediance train your dog...

We don't know her standards.
Not really sure, only said that in case I was forgetting something. Sure, I could ask direct questions without asking her about her past partners, but if I want to know, then what's the point? It's still my business if I want to know.

One question

"Have any of your past relationships been physically/sexually abusive"

It's a little invasive if she doesn't really want to talk about it, however it is important to know.
True.

if she's worth being with, her standards will include not being made to feel shit because of her lifestyle choices that affect no one but herself.

If you want to know how many guys she's been with, then that's your perogative. but don't justify it with "it's my business because it might tell me if she's had STD's" when a direct question will get you BETTER information without having to delve into the howmany/who debate. knowing the number only gives you the number of people she's slept with, and there is no health related reason why that's important.

as for the sexually abused question. if you find it that important to know, then you can ask it. personally, i find it better NOT to pry into that unless she volunteers the answer, as many girls have been, but have a pretty good handle on getting past it themselves/with their own therapist. remember, we're here to be their lovers, not their therapist.

asking the number of partners isn't going to tell you anything about whether she was abused either!

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If you want to know how to be successful with women, learn to obediance train your dog...

Ah i do get peace of mind from this forum, nice to see that the issues and struggles i have, others have too.

All depends on if you want it to work with her n how much you really like her.

If your long term! you could be her last

where as girls who bounce from relationship to relationship n never find the one, will notch up way more than ur long term special gf!

Well man. Let me explain it to you lilke this.

Men and women say the word slut for different reasons.

Man: She sleeps with other people who arent me. She is a slut.

Women: She is more popular and more attractive than me. She is a slut.


So basically, jealousy, for 2 different reasons.



On STDs... Yeah, that is a problem. Unless you trust her and you two have a serious relationship. Or she checks herself.

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I'm not trying to be a dick Ezo, but you're being a Pick Up Snob in my opinion.

bbardot: you just reminded me about porn

I don't wanna spoil all of this, but in addition:

Everything that she's once done: She can do again.

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