My life is a wreck. I'm not going to complain, but there is some serious shit going on with my family. I'm basically apart from all of them, my mom is depressed and I can't help, my dad has been far away from years, and some other shit I seriously can't talk about.

Apart from that, I was a complete asshole to my girlfriend of an year and something. And so she left me, last friday. She said there was still hope, that I just needed to calm down, treat her better (she was right, this is no game, she was seriously hurt). I ignored her, and treated her like crap.

Now, today. After trying to fix things, she told me it's too late (she told me that yesterday too), that I must move on, that contacting her will only make it worse. She says she doesn't feel anything for me, she had been losing it.

I can't handle this now. I can't even find things to distract my mind. My friends are her friends, so I see her all the time, she ignores me and laughs and have fun. And I try too, but just can't.

I tried to kill myself last week. Tried to cut open my wrists with a razor blade. In the middle of that idiotic thing, I grew some balls, called a friend, and cried my fucking heart out.

Me and her, we're over. How can I move on? I'm broke, I live alone at 19 (still a student.) I don't know what to do, I can't get a job because I'm in a fucking village and my car is broken.

I can't afford to kill myself, I'd destroy what's left of my family. I can't afford counseling either. Just help me be strong. I'm no PUA, I know meeting girls would make it better, probably. I can handle rejection, it's nothing personal, but what was once logic is now fucked up by my feelings. I'd take it personally, it'd make it worse.

For the first time in my life I'm asking for help.

_________________
A bullet shaped hole where the answers should be.

Dude suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem dont go there--

im sure youve got plenty of people who care about you dont be too proud or stubborn to pick up the phone or talk to them .

there are also many many good people on here who will be willing to help you

I don't really know if people care for me. People care for everyone. What keeps me going is the rest of my family, my mom wouldn't handle me killing myself. We're not close, but she's still my mom.

I'm not going to do it. But I want to stop feeling this pain.

_________________
A bullet shaped hole where the answers should be.

hey bud why dont you send me a PM we can talk about this in private if you want

Will,

I understand how you must feel, this is a very serious situation. Your girlfriend is the last thing that should be on your mind right now. You need to focus on getting your life together.

Have you ever tried talking to any family member at all about this? Your family can be a very helpful source. I know, because I also underestimated my family before I actually started talking to them. I promise you that it's worth a shot.

You also got friends I presume? There are many people in this world that are willing to help you. Look, even the first guy that replied to this post is willing to help you in private.

You think of this as "I need major help here. I need a magic formula that's gonna solve all my problems."

You're wrong. All you need is someone to talk to.

Talk.

That's it.

By talking and releasing all your feelings, you will notice a 500 pound of darkness being lifted from your shoulder and you'll start motivating yourself to heal and move on much (much!) faster. You will take things into stronger action and everything will feel so much better.

And for God's sake, don't even think about suicide again. I'm serious.

PM if you need any more advice, I'll do my best to help you out. We're all here for you.

_________________
Journal/Blog: journal-little-panda-vt135329.html

Thanks Panda.

I can't reach my dad. I tried. And the rest of my family just have the: "Well, suit yourself" attitude.

The thing is, my friends are her friends. I keep fucking things up even harder, despite Herne's advice. I asked her for some time away from me, to help me forget her, and she replied: "No." just like that.

She has other friends to go out with. So I freaked out. And now it's even worse.

_________________
A bullet shaped hole where the answers should be.

Sorry dude i'm not going to reach out and touch your crushed ego.
You need to man up! Grab yourself by your balls, find out that your only 19 that ending your life isn't a solution. Be a man and fix your problems. Come out stronger.

For what its worth.. if you need help on becoming a man.... and have a serious plan i'm willing to invest time in a personal coaching time.

But first get yourself together and decide where you wanna go from here and if you want to accept my coaching... it will drive you nuts... i'll give you challenges... but you'll go somewhere...

So... whats it going to be sonny... you're going to pm me if your ready for it!

-- WS

_________________
True communication is communion―the realization of oneness, which is love! ~ Eckhart Tolle

Things are bad if YOU make them bad.
I will turn things around in this post to prove that if you change your mindset - your mood will change.

She didn't say "No." just to torture you and see you in misery. She said "No." because she's afraid that you will forget her. She wants to remain in your memory, she wants to remain in your life.

You gotta see things from different perspectives. If she truly wanted you out of her life, she would give you all the space you wanted!

"Be the change you wish to see in this world" - Gandhi.

The worst thing you can do now is to isolate yourself. Hang out with friends, have fun. Time WILL heal. Trust me on this one.

_________________
Journal/Blog: journal-little-panda-vt135329.html

Little panda is right, even if it doesn't feel like you can get over this right now, you can. Take it from some one who's been there, time heals all.

Can you elaborate, Uppick?

Yeah, Panda. I agree with you. My friends are her friends, so maybe it won't distract me. But I have to deal with it anyway.

Wesley. Thanks for the help man. I'm not going to end my life, I fuck as hell won't. I didn't even need anyone to say tell me this, it's the stupidest thing anyone can do. I don't believe in the afterlife, and I don't believe in hurting people. It would probably destroy what's left of my family if I did it, and I'm not that selfish.

And time heals it, I suppose.

I don't have much time lately, Wesley. But I'll accept your coaching. I can't be a pussy now.

I erased her number, had my last conversation with her today. (I admit, I would get back to her, because what I did was my fault. But I'm not planning on it, I'm going to try and get over it. I think the: "Never look at her again, fuck her" is a bit too extreme when it was not their fault in the first place. I can't hold on to hopes, though. And I won't. Whatever happens will happen.)

About my dad. I sent him an email today, he has stuff for me to do. I'm going to do it this week, too. Unfair demands, problems from his life, but I'll get it done, no prob.

I suppose your challenges involve approaching girls, organizing parties, and stuff like that. I'm not going to procrastinate, but let's just say I'm not into the best place to do that. I live in a village, there are no girls to charge. Scarcity is not a myth over here. I suppose you guys live in America or England or something like that, where you see dozens of girls every time you get out the door.

But. There is a city some 20 miles or so, away from here. The travel is stupidly expensive, but I'll get some money when I can, and travel there. (That is, if your challenges involve that. )

In any way, feel free to Pm me. I'm open to anything. I really can't afford to waste my life.

_________________
A bullet shaped hole where the answers should be.

Will,

Dont make up this kind of "excuses" to not do a thing. Drop me a pm like i said, thats your first step i'm not dropping you a pm... because you need to be confident into the path of chance.

-- WS

_________________
True communication is communion―the realization of oneness, which is love! ~ Eckhart Tolle

your a student? the school you study at will have some form of councilling available for no cost.

start there.

then see your dr too.

meeting girls WON'T hide the pain.

deal with your mental state first. your mom has depression. so do you dude. get the help you need. no one on here can do that for you.

_________________
If you want to know how to be successful with women, learn to obediance train your dog...

Hey bro you've been through some tough stuff. Life tries to be hard on us sometimes. It fucks with us until we think everything is a wreck, until we give in and cry, until we think of taking our lives. I can't even imagine how it must have been for you...latching your life to a girl and losing her. It's hard... but you grew some balls and you took a step many of us would not have the strength to take...and that's the key to you getting past this.

I tried to commit suicide once before. It's a hell of a thing when you're sitting there and all those thoughts are flowing and you're trying to think but you can't even think straight. You're feeling everything and everyone in those moments and it's an overload until you make a choice. I want you to picture in your a snapshot of that time. You might notice that you're seeing it through your eyes. Step out of you body and see it in the third person. Look at yourself in the picture and take away all the colours that make it real and vibrant. Make it bland make it black and white. Now as you do this realise how the feelings change as you remember these memories in a different context. Make the image smaller now. Smaller and smaller until it's a tiny speck that has no effect on you and who you are. You are shaped by your experiences and you need the good ones, the beneficial ones in your life, influencing you.

Will this is a good technique that I'd recommend you do everyday with your good and bad memories. With you good ones you make the bright vivid and look at them through the first person. Live the good memories. Put the bad ones away. Learn and move on from them. It's important not to erase the bad memories. Think what if you erased the fact that you burnt your hand on a stove. Then you'd go through your life touching hot stoves, damaging yourself and learning nothing. The important thing is to take what feedback you need from them and put them away where they don't nibble at your life.

I want you to focus on getting a job. Let's trust each other and say money is necessary for most of life. Even if it's mowing the neighbour's lawn for now go and do it. We'll look at better stuff later on. Right now we will get your life back together. Rebuild it. And every aspect is a brick to make your foundation a little more stable. Peace bro pm me if you need anything or if you want me to help you further.

_________________
Fox

...

Send me a PM I know it is hard going through a break up and juggling with personal issues at the same time. But what I do recommend is not talking to her for a good 30 days it will help clear your mind.

Hope this helps man