Hey guys,

I'm sure a lot of you know about my relationship with my boyfriend by now - he is amazing and I love him blah blah blah.

BUT lately, everytime I invite him to one of my friends (whom he also knows very well), parties after I tell him they would like him to come, he ALWAYS says something to me like "well I'll probably be too busy to come" or "I'll probably be working so won't be able to make it" and then he says something like "they will understand that I can't make it" and I'm like "well yeah. But I'm just letting you know you are invited." He then says "well I'm just letting you know I probably won't be able to make it" so I got pissed off the other day when he said it and I just blew up a bit and said "look I don't care if you don't come alright? I'm just letting you know you're invited" he kind of backed off a bit and then our conversation just moved on and we stopped talking about it.

However, what REALLY gives me the shits is everytime he invites me to one of HIS friend's parties, I'm like "yeah sure I would love to come!!". My friend has suggested next time he asks me, I should do what he is doing to me like "well I might be too busy that night" - what do you guys think?

I have my theories on this - maybe he feels like he is just being invitied because he is my boyfriend and they feel like I won't come if he doesn't (which isn't the case anyway - I would love to have him there with me but I am still going to go and have a good time without him if he doesn't want to go) and I also understand that sometimes he will be busy or not want to go out or something but it happens EVEERY SINGLE TIME I ask him to come with me! This has heppened about 6 times in the past couple months. And then sometimes when I start talking about the party or something, he will be like "oh I wish I had gone" - even some of my friends who I know he really gets along with, he does it to. AND a lot of the time, he is waiting at home while I go out without him - he is not even busy.

This is the only glitch in our otherwise pretty much perfect relationship and it may not seem like a huge deal but he is my man and I love showing him off and spenindg time with him and my friends together. When he and I do go out, we always have a really great time so I really don't know what it is.

Do any of you have any insights into this?

Thanks!!

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....Thought you might like a girl's opinion....

dunno about your case but i behaved similar to him one time and it was because---had to get on with HER friends becaause i liked her but didnt particularly wanna socialise with them because i found that even though they were ok people i also found them the most boring people on earth

maybe he feels that you want him to go as a trophy boyfriend to show off with and he feels like hes being treated as a sex object rather than a person

I do this to my gf now... I used to go out with her friends all the time. What changed? well, it's not like I don't like her friends, I do, but im only going to those types of things to hang out with her, while she goes to hang out with her friends as well as me. So at times when she is off doing things with her friends I feel alone even if I'm talking to someone else(because i dont really wanna talk to them just hang with my girl). It's selfish for me to ask her to hang out with me the entire time so I rather just not go at all.

Maybe... your friend sucks ? ask him if he hates them, thats probably the case.
Maybe... his friends are just better ?

He probably has his reasons, maby he doesnt want to have the same mundane conversation with your freinds, maby he feels you want to show him off, maby he feels he is invited only becuase you and him are together, maby he just wants to have a night relaxing infront of the tv with a beer!, there is so many possibly reasons, however like your friend suggested next time he invites you out with one of his freinds, just be like "i think i am washing my hair that night" or "me and the girls are going out that night"...
Good for you, so you should, dont let him stop or spoil your night becuase he doesnt want to go .

if you have a spare invite and are looking for a cool guy to come along pm me (jk)

He makes a point where he says that maybe you act differently with your friends, or maybe he doesn't feel comfortable with your friends. Or he feels out of place. Believe it or not we do feel like that. He may not be comfortable like hugging you infront of your friends or talking to them, even though you may want him to... I've always said that you shouldn't combine friends and boyfriend ... that often... Because when you're with your friends, you can't pay the same attention to both, so either one of them (Your guy or your friends) will feel like you're not there with them. Either your friends will feel you only paid attention to your BF, or your BF will feel excluded. It happened to me once, a girl I was dating invited me to a party, and she did paid attention to me, but not as much as she did to her friends and I was like "Well why the fuk would she invite me if she wasn't even gonna talk to me".

It would seem that for one reason or another he doesn't enjoy hanging around with them, as if he enjoyed it he'd welcome the chance to do it as opposed to avoiding it!

There are a number of reasons as to why this might be, however the only way to be sure is to ask him.

For me it very much depends on the event, I'm happy going to parties and seeing her friends, I've met some interesting new people while she's been chilling with her friends. However I won't set foot into a nightclub with her and her friends regardless of the occasion, simply because I don't enjoy nightclubs. Does he enjoy parties?

Thanks for all the responses guys!! You all raise some very valid points.
YES! He is a really socailable person and even when we go out together to clubs or parties or whatever, he will start talking to randoms ALWAYS and sometimes, I will be a little left out!
This is probably true to an extent - when I am with some of my grilfriends, I know I do act a bit different to when I am just around him, but when he is there with us, he always laughs along with us or he will talk to the guys. When he is around his mates, he acts like a 12 year old and is so immature and different to when we hang out but it doesn't bother me that much. I don't feel out of place or anything with his mates.
This is true... But I feel like if I don't invite him, he will be feeling left out because he knows these people and seemingly gets along with them. I'm just not going to invite him out to friends birthdays anymore I think. I just don't see what the point is when he always says no anyway.
I agree with you to an extent. However, in other parts of our relationship, he depends on me more than I do with him (eg - he doesn't drive so depends on me to give him lefts and pick him up everywhere). I wouldn't say he has the control because I feel we are pretty equal but in this case, maybe I do feel a little insecure about the fact that he never comes out with me and my friends. It kind of looks to my friends that my boyfriend doesn't even care about me enough to escort me to parties and stuff. And when guys hit on me and I tell them I have a boyfriend and they are like "well why isn't he here with you then?" it kind of makes me think "hang on why isn't he here with me?" I know he loves me and everything but it does get frustrating, especially when I am telling him about the party and he's like "oh that sounds awesome wish I had been there" - um well he could have been but it was his choice not to!! He always wants me to go over to his place after I have gone out so what's that about?
Haha ok??
Thanks for all those reasons jtaz! I think some of them are very legitimate and probably right on the money.
Hahaha you're funny! I'm sure he would LOVE that!
Fair enough... I can understand that
Maybe. But I mean, he does the same thing to me then too right? He invites me to his work parties and friend's parties etc and I don't feel like he is just using me as a sex object - I feel like he is proud of me and wants to show me off but also because he wants to spend time with me around his friends and colleagues. Which is the way I feel about him.
Fair enough. He doesn't seem to find them boring though - they have their own little inside jokes and always gang up on me together (which he seems to love doing!) to tease the hell out of me. He even speaks to my best friend on the phone for like 15 minutes when he calls to speak to me and she answers!

Anyways thanks for all the input guys!!

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....Thought you might like a girl's opinion....