maybe it's the wrong forum part - so just move it, if its wrong.

the cousin of a friend of mine was visiting him. i got to know her two years before, but we didn't really talk to each other (it was only one day). this time we started to talk from the beginning and it was pretty obvious to me that she was interested. we had a really good conversation and went out later with the others to some kind of street festival.

after a while only the two of us went to a kebapshop, to buy some new beer cans. after that we went to the habour it didn't take too long until we kissed each other. then i had to tell her, that i'm in a relation ship (because that's what's up). she said, that she already sensed it..... we made out some more and went back to the others. a bit later i told her, that i would bring her part of the way back to her cousins flat, if she wants to, because she had to get up early the next day.

she agreed. we did it on a wooden bench in some kind of creepy park. then i went home and she went back to her cousins flat, without any kind of changing numbers etc.

the next day i searched her on facebook and added her pretty late in the evening. (i rly liked her and didn't want her to feel bad about sleeping with a more or less complete stranger, withouth any kind of further relation)

i just wrote a simple "hey " and the next day she acceptet the request and answered w. "hi, did u have a nice rest of the weekend? i quitted my job today "

that night we had talked about, that she had found a new, better job.

two days later i wrote back again,..something like "wow, this has to be a liberating feeling?! when do you start your new job? i only chilled the rest of the weekend. hope you found your cousins flat."

since that she didn't answer. it's already 4 days ago, that i wrote her.

i don't know if she is going to write again, but if not - what did i do wrong? and if she does write, how do i get her to be seriously interested in me?

if the story is way too long, or i used the wrong part of the forum - i'm deeply sorry. as you can see, i am a new member and have no experience in posting.

please help me anyway

[quote="raReOne"]

i don't know if she is going to write again, but if not - what did i do wrong? and if she does write, how do i get her to be seriously interested in me?

quote]

what went wrong, u ask? what didn't go wrong, is what i ask? u banged the chick, and she seemed cool about it. u were honest to her abt ur relationship status. if ur in a relationship and u want a different girl to be seriously interested in you, without wanting to drop ur gf, then ur asking for headaches. dude, u have a great situation with this chick. if she ever visits again, u can prolly hit it again, since u already did. be happy with it. in my experience, play it cool like she's just a distant friend. and when she comes back to visit, turn on the charm. (assuming u wanna hit it again.)

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have u ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?

thanks for your quick answer and your advice. but that's not what i was asking for. i might be interested in a more serious way, otherwise i wouldn't have cheated.

still thankful for every advice!

help ?!

Sounds Like fun...
If you want a serious relationship with this girl you are really not off to a brilliant start, you told her you where in a relationship then had sex with her! this doesnt really suggest a trust worthy guy... your current encounter is just a one night stand basicly..

To be honest you probably cheated becuase you are a man, and she offered it on a plate, it probably has nothing to do with her...

if you where serious about her, you would probably imagine her when having sex with your gf... etc.. and if you are serious about her and want her to be serious about you, you need to dump your current gf.

thanks for your answer. i agree to your statement.

it seems to be unrealistic to get in a relationship, because she wouldn't trust me.

but still i have a question. because, if i would drop my gf, it would be the same problem. she didn't write me back. so would it be an option to write her again? this seems pretty weak to me. in the same time, it would maybe a point to show her, that it was for a reason, that i cheated on my girl.

is there anything that i can do beside waiting/ is it an option to write her again?

greets

p.s. i agree to anybody who would say, that it's not worth it, because probably it wouldn't work out at all after having sex on a bench at the first "date", but it's not about logic, is it?

and perhaps you can share your thoughts why she doesn't write. does she feel bad about my girlfriend? doesn't she want it to get serious? is she perhaps just protecting herself? at least she could write me something pointless, so i don't know why she's not writing at all.

being that she lives far away (it seems), i think ur only way of coming out looking trustworthy is by breaking up with ur girlfriend first. and mentioning it to the new girl a while later so as not to seem that u broke up due to her (dlv).

explain that u weren't proud of what happened between both of u (hehehe) but ur not completely regretting it. because on one hand, u were already in a break up process, and being with someone else (not necessarily her) made u realize u weren't happy. and secondly, u honestly did enjoy spending time with her, the new chick.

i would make the conversation come up as naturally as possible. if she doesn't initiate that conversation. create a situation in whcih u make it seem she brought it up.

my 2 cents

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have u ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?

Well... you are in a better situation than if she found out from her cousin... but it isnt a very good position for a serious relationship:

Positive---> you showed honesty you told her you had a gf
negative ---> you had sex with her anyway....
Lets forget this specific girl for a second, if you are in an exclusive comitted relationship with your girlfreind and you are no longer in love with her, then it is far kinder to split up with her, rather than contunually cheat on her, if you continually cheat on her and she finds out, it can leave her with trust issues, and the golden rule is You should always leave a girl better than you found her, if she comes to you without trust issues and ends up with trust issues, you totally failed with the golden rule.
I could sit her and write you a 500 page word document of all the reasons she doesnt write back! (ok maby 500 pages is an exaduration... but you get the point).

2 common reasons i found for women to decide to ignore me:
1) Busy, not on fb ect (encountered this with a girl just today, didnt reply for a few weaks and then wam bam, a sorry message explaining)
2) Pissed off with you... (encounted this sun... with a model...)

In simple terms Ignoring you is essentually a rejection, based on what you have said, (unless she is just busy...) like there was this Model i was fb messaging, it was going until i was half asleep and wrote a really stupid question for that time in the interaction (it was to early in the interaction!) so she hadnt replied for 11 days, so i sent her a message talking the piss out of her, (in a calm C&F way) like didnt your mum ever tell you you ignoring people is rude ect... she replies back from her phone, about 20 minutes later, thowing a hardcore attack bitch shield/strop at me, and how she was going to block me blah blah blah, (if a girl has any intention of blocking you initually she wont bother talking about it she would just block you, this has happened to me a couple of times being blocked).. i then reward her for being a bitch (yes it sounds fucking crazy, but kezia is so fucking correct on this point.. Watch Kezia bitch shield video she explains it perfectly)... just over 2 hours later she replied back again, her message was carm and she seems to have started to warm to me.. (totally dropping the bitch shit becuase i could handle it!)... (i havent replied yet) anyway 5 days later she still hasnt blocked me.....

Lessons
Generally a 2-1 Messaging ratio is bad, anything above 2-1 is defently to be avoided.. if it does go 2-1 dont be a needy guy like why didnt you reply.... ect... for me c&f fits my personality... if you challenge her, with c&f remarks like i did with this model (and no i am not bullshitting you this 100% happened to me on sunday!!) then you will likely get the bitch sheld, if she is with freinds you will likely get the attack bitch shield, where she actually gives you allot to work with, if she is alone, she may ignore you, she may give defence bitch shield like go away or just block you....