1312

just wait for a week or 2 get your head clear and decide, deciding quickly after the break up is not a good idea. The kissing and all that stuff isn't important, it doesn't mean she loves you like you think she does. You broke up for a reason.. however...
nonsense.... in some relationships i have met family after one week, or 2.
If time and parents are a factor in the relationships, then there isn't real dedication from both sides - if you really have feelings for eachother you don't really care about parents or time .

sounds like she is making excuses , it seems like she thinks the realtionship isn't worth the effort. This does not mean you aren't worth the effort - actuallly in most cases it isn't personal at all. Just re-read your message - is not meeting eachother for one month or more really a problem ? are parents really a problem ? to my opinion; after 6 moths you can surely meet family- it isn't early at all.

wait for 2 weeks .... if she does send you text messages reply but don't go into it be short - distance yourself.

it seems like she thinks the relationship isn't worth the effort ; This seems quitte clear - you can also cut her out your life which is probably the easiest thing to do. Good break-ups are the worst because you still think the person is having alot of feelings for you. Bad break-ups you get over rather quick.

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are you fucking kidding me ? LOL take this shirt to the cleaner !!!!! LOL
how do you regain respect ? idk ...call her mom bcz she deserves tthat title .. or ... maybe take her shirt to the cleaner ?
what would i do ? find a girlfriend who works at laundry store

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AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
questions about herbal medicine here-vp582526.html#582526

if you talk to her about you being jealous and so forth she problably associate you with her jealous friends. Her friends are just as jealous as you are , maybe even more.

you have orbiter chodes , guy who can't pickup woman are are seriously stuck in the friend zone but refuse to see reality. They still hang around your GF doing stuff for her but meanwhile they have no chance hooking up. not a threat
you have just ''regular'' guys, since most of these don't have consistent contact they are not stuck in the friendship zone and neither in the ''attraction zone'', these guys were not interested in the first place otherwise they would initiate contact. not a threat

and you have male friends .... they have some value otherwise she won't initiate contact, some of these are interested and some are not but lets be serious - not all men think about fucking your GF but all men do want to have sex ALOT of times. If your girlfriend has any problem they are ready to catch her.....
you see ... 95 % of these guys are not a threat at all....it is always one guy

if it's a girl who only has male friends you are probably better off dumping her, because your fears and all that shit only would increase... you know why ?
she only has male friends because she needs validation because she is insecure, and she is making you insecure by doing it.
The person you will hook up with will change you in a certain way if you don't have a solid inner game.
girls who are addicted to validation will do anything for validation - they are easy targets and i picked up girls like this about 180 times or so. most of them will take your dick as long you refuse to give validation.

now about your fear.... you are afraid she will cheat , this anxiety comes from the fact you think you don't deserve her. You have some insecurities - unconciously you conceive/perceive yourself as lesser value. You think you don't deserve her, this create psychological pressure and is backward- rationalized in ideas like '' she will cheat '' and other fearfull hallucinations. she getting attention from other guys only made you concious about certain psychological patterns.

people with succes can also sabotage their own succes , if you really think you deserve everything better - if you really think you can get another girl straight away maybe a better looking or one with better personality you probably would not have this fear and these ideas. Fear you get from the idea of losing - material or spiritual. if you go out and pick up ohter girls -not to kiss or have sex but just to realize the fact that you can get other girls if you hone your social skills enough .. will probably do the job. you can go in the relationship with a scarcity mindset or you can create that mindset while being in a relationship.

relationships in relationship with yourself and judgements don't define the people - it defines you.

1. you having this fear will only make you sabotage your relationships - this is all unconcious just because you have one concious emotion.
2. behaviour and ideas will create repeative behavioural patterns ... meaning if you repeat your negative ideas often enough you will condition yourself to associate fear with relationships - not only love relationships but relationships in general
3. The negative thoughts and emotions ... i only call it negative because it creates distance between you and your goal , they occupate you mind and take away your energy.
4. 95 % about what you think is bullshit ... if everyone had only 50 or 20 % bullshit we all would be succesfull and persue our goals fearless. only a minority of probably 5 % or even less is really succesfull ... like donald trump and so forth.
they are efficient .... they control their emotions and thought and understand themselfs psychologically on a deep level. you have weird fears backward rationalized out of some emotions .... totally counterproductive in any way.

don't get me wrong ... i have fears of girls cheating on me ... i don't like it but i don't care - il dump them straight away. guys think their girlfriend is the best thing in their lifes '' oh your the best thing that happened to me '' '' if i didn't meet you i.... ''..... you should be the best thing happening to you.
a few years ago i wasn't really succesfull with woman in general- bad inner game and so forth. Read mystery method applied it and got the hot girl i really liked.... i thought she was the best thing happening to me....
1. mystery method and this whole seduction community was the best thing happening to me and not my ex-GF .... this whole pickup thing set me on my path.
2. i went out and picked her up - she was stupid enough to allow my social manipulations. She was not the best thing happening to me, i was the best thing - it all depends on how you assign meanings to certain situations.

your current jealous or fearfull behaviour sucks .. it's counterproductive in any way and you will probably sabotage your relationship if you continue these negative mindsets.

like poet1234 said :

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AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
questions about herbal medicine here-vp582526.html#582526

Alright here it goes, I've been going out about a month now. We have sex pretty much every night (missed 2 nights in the last month). The last couple days I've been out of town on a trip so we've been talking on SPAM/phone a lot when I get back to my room. I'm a guy so of course I get horny and I have a deep soothing voice that makes her wet so we tried phone sex. It was good and all but about an hour later we'll be watching a movie talking to each other and she will get herself off again, which I'm fine with...the thing that is annoying me is that when she is doing that she tells me to stop talking completely. I was so annoyed and stunned by this happening 2 nights in a row that I was completely silent so she thought I was punishing her. I've called her a couple times, text, SPAM messages but she won't respond. The last thing she said was "Let me show you how much silence can hurt". I had a horrible nights sleep after that and I'm not sure what to do.

Hey Lodewijkp,I think this post has got to be the longest most active one on the forum.

Good work.

Anyway,having relationship issues.

My gf(Im in n LTR)has a very friendly personlity,nd to me,she's overly friendly,and some might take her kindness for weakness.

Plus,she loves the spotlight in a sense of reaching out to ppl.

I hate it and have brought it up to her.

I know I have insecurity issues,but am I being a bitch with this one or do I have a point in not wanting ppl to use my girl's kindness for weakness(or peer-pressure her.)?

_________________
Most active PUA blog in the community since 2009.
https://kennyspuathoughts.wordpress.com ... arly-2022/

Now active on YT again with PUA, Red Pill, Manosphere content:
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K you went missing for a while after that library girl, is this her? Or someone else.

Anyway here's my advice bro, your not being a bitch, your in a LTR, want the best for her, and would hate to see her down and out, that's good, and major DHV to yourself.

Last girl I was seeing loved the spotlight, a lot of things being" me, me, me" wanting people to take notice, although yours doesn't seem as extreme, the more it goes on, the worse it can become.

Stand your ground, let her know what's what. Let her know what you want to change, she may not listen right away, but as I said, stand your ground, she will love you for that alone.

Chel

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Been there, done it, oh and still doing it!

: Blog entries@ http://kennyspuathoughts.wordpress.com/

Lol,hey whts up Chel?

Thanks for the advise on this.

Lol,it's funny how I did go missing after the library girl(lol)!

I crashed & burned with her.

It was a great gaming/learning experience for me(with your help Chel).

I didnt get her eventully but I learned a lot nd enjoyed it.

I did go missing-but to game more.

It's impressive that you'd remembered all that Chel(lol).

But the issue with my gf of over a year,I just wanted some advise which would still enable me to stay alpha.

Example:a co-worker of my gf needed some help at home so my gf just jumped at the offer to help!!

Non other of her female co-worker even suggested!

I believe my gf is too eager to please or say no.

_________________
Most active PUA blog in the community since 2009.
https://kennyspuathoughts.wordpress.com ... arly-2022/

Now active on YT again with PUA, Red Pill, Manosphere content:
https://youtu.be/tj5rnL_qKfM

Haha, good memory especially with good people and good stories haha.

I think you have to stand your ground her K, and tell her, she needs to look at the bigger picture, helping people is one thing, but people then start to take advantage, one day she will help too much and people will be taking her for granted, chances are she could end up hurt, and her confidence knocked heavily.

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Been there, done it, oh and still doing it!

: Blog entries@ http://kennyspuathoughts.wordpress.com/

It has no use to repeat yourself by telling the same thing over and over. No matter what people do they won't listen.. The motivations or driving force to change is :

Inspiration or : ...
Desperation

If people are not motivated by your direct influence or opinion they will probably change when they face desperation - when they got hurt or made a mistake.
It's better not to argue too much about it...when she gets hurt she probably will be more needy and more emotionally attached to you..... not a bad thing in most cases. Don't tell her anything, people who refuse seeing the point or concept at the first time probably won't change at teh second time you tell them.

the weakness isn't her personality ( too friendly etc) , the weaknesses are the other people who want to take advantage of someone.

_________________
AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
questions about herbal medicine here-vp582526.html#582526

Shintosoul

you should be honest and you should have said it ..... it's not the ''your punishing idea '' of course she knows your uncomfortable with something otherwise you wouldn't perform an action like this. the is just kinda confused about you not telling her straight away.
just reply ... ''why are you being so weird ? '' ... don't invest one gram of mental energy in defending yourself. defending by reacting is acknowledging a problem which is probably not as bad at it looks.'
chicks you've met in a short period of time keep shit testing you, you don't have to disqualify or neg.... just don't react on shit tests , you don't have to answer peoples questions or arguments.

things you need to do :

telling her why she is being/acting so weird, don't defend and don't make excuses.
not giving a shit about the outcome and being honest ( not AFC )
going out and talk to other woman no matter how insecure you feel
don't be needy... just pretend like it isn't a big deal - the silence and the weird ''punishment''
sleep well

here something to get stuff out of your head.... maybe a good listen before sleeping
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WbdWSujQERk it's 12 parts
just let it go , trust yourself, let the chips fall where they may. You only dated this woman for a month - you shouldn't be needy or attached at all.
Don't post comments on her facebook , if she contacts you it's easier to be open because she initiated. You are not in a real relationship yet.... you are still dating even tho you had sex.

_________________
AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
questions about herbal medicine here-vp582526.html#582526

Hey,

Was wondering how to escalate with my gf of 5 months [my first ever relationship and hence ZERO experience]. She's really shy about the whole sexual intimate thing (as in all she'll do is give me a brief kiss goodbye and even that's a struggle). *THIS IS HER FIRST EVER RELATIONSHIP TOO*

Overall she's not a very physical person - she describes herself as "cold". Anyway - i've just been trying to keep kino up as much as possible (ie just heaps of hugs/lots of hand holding with the very occasional brief kiss). Hugs/holding hands and stuff is fine even in public - i get no resistance there. if i go in to kiss her on the lips tho she sometimes moves away (and hence i end up kissing her on the cheek), which i find is strange... Why does she do this? Is there any ways around this?

Havent' had the chance to make out yet/go any further than just a brief kiss. How do i escalate from this? SPAM i'm just taking it slow since i'm her first bf so she said she wanted to take things slow (which is cool since she's my first gf too).

I looked at/read the dicarlo escalation ladder, but i honestly can't see her going along with the heavier stuff, even though i've got plenty of comfort with her.

So basically: How do i escalate from the very occasional brief kiss to something more? Perhaps like a makeout session or more? As i'm the one leading the relationship, i think i should take the lead and escalate - so any tips ? I'm sure she'll stop me if we're progressing too far, which is okay, but escalating a bit more than just a brief kiss would be great DETAILED descriptions of how to escalate would be much appreciated!

Also - i think i'm falling for her pretty hard at the moment... like actually in love. Neither of us have said "i love you" yet but i was thinking of saying it on our 6 month anniversary when we're out somewhere special. As i'm falling for her i'm finding i'm becoming MORE needy HOWEVER i'm aware of this and i'm doing other things to keep me busy aswell to stop me contacting her. Just finding it really hard to stop thinking about her all the time now...Particularly since she's still at school and i'm on uni holidays...

Anyway, is this a good idea to say it then? I've read that you should say it only when u feel it - which i now do... She knows i'm more of an actions person (not words person) so i think me saying "i love you" will have a much stronger impact... Opinions?

Thanks!

Don't say it, if you can prevent yourself. Keep using kino on her to escalate, play fights, pillow fights, touching in sensitive places, can trigger things off with women.

Keep trying to be busy, because when you become so needy, you might aswell throw in the towell.

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: Blog entries@ http://kennyspuathoughts.wordpress.com/

Hey Lode. Its been quite sometime since i last posted.

Well, first i have a good news. I was finally able to dump the trash that cheated on me after much struggles. But all is good now

Now i got a new girl. She's beautiful and there's still many guys out there trying to get her. With her i feel damn happy but i see myself turning back to an afc. Although she keeps telling me that she never love a guy like she love me, istill feel insecure. I start saying insecure things hinting that she will leave me and stuffs. And it seems that my insecurities have just screwed things up. Yesterday, she became angry for the 1st time and told me that she don't like to hear me say all those and say that i don't trust her at all. For that moment of time i felt like a beggar begging for validations and assurance from her.

Other than that, I'm very alpha and always tell her off for things that i dislike her doing. She say that she feel tired. Right now on the surface she seems okay but i just feel that she became a little colder. I don't know how to react because i'm afraid its just me being paranoid.

What should i do now? How should i portray myself?

Help is sincerely appreciated. Thanks!

jonobono8888 keep doing it like chelios says , not following through is often the big mistake.

2 reasons why she is putting it off :
1. She's the emotional -insecure type and wants to know if you are 100 % going for her....she does not know what she wants out of insecurity and she needs to hear it from you.

2. She associates fear/pain with kino-to sexual escalation, you can freeze her out when she creates distant which is of course a not very nice thing to do. The problem is when you accept her refusal of light kino ( like kissing ) she is taking charge.....Don't let her turn down any light kino , if you are escalating to sex and she doesn't like it ok that's fine however light kino should not be refused.
i mena cmon it's completely normal to kiss ....don't let her take charge , what does she know ? this is her first relationship as well and she is a girl - young girls have the tendancy to ruin things.

Im not saying you should take control ... what im saying is what you should or should not allow , your values. If you want to kiss her and she turns away - you don't have to accept her behaviour you can freeze her out.
The reason she does this : FEAR

do you want a person with fear to take COMPLETE control of a relationship ... NO probably not. The reason why she is having this fear is unknown... we only can make assumptions, in most cases it has to do with psychological relationships - like her relationship with family/parents. Don't find out the underlying principles of these ''problems'' just enjoy the relationship.

how to freeze out when she refuses a kiss ?
don't kiss her on the cheek when she turns away, if she asks why you aren't kissing her just say nothing ... it's no big deal. And if she really goes nuts .. just stay cool - in the end she wants validation.
Don't take this too far , be flexible and try it out , like i said at 1 it could be she wants to hear your serious with her. try them both.

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Supa123

Trash is destined for the can!

Beauty could be one of your values but it's not ''THE VALUE''.... il bet you like dozens of things and among them are beauty. She got one of your values so what ? guys always chase woman and that's how it's always will be.
looks are superficial... no matter how a girls looks if she sucks she sucks, i've had too many experiences with pretty girls and those girls where crazy as hell .. even more crazy than me.

you feel insecure .... well you feel insecure now you got her ....unconciously you think you don't deserve that girl. You got some issues , maybe you don't have enough goals or assigned meanings in/to your life. What you unconciously think and aren't aware of you conciously perform.... all those hinting about how she leaves you etc is nonsense ofcourse because you can't look into the future.
1. You are affected by past experiences and have unconcious fear she will cheat on you
2. You think you don't deserve her.. some limiting beliefs

1 and 2 have 2 things in common when considering the actions you make , at both you sabotage your relationship. sometimes we have some issues and the only way we can conciously find it out is through realtionship. People reflect back some behaviour or some issues and they make you concious of it because the relationship doesn't work meaning your mental health is affected in some way.
Both are also self fullfilling prophecies and you thend to push her away- out of your reality. you got relationships and REALATIONSHIPS

i think this girl is right ... i think you don't trust her and that you are feeling insecure by thinking unconciously '' i don't deserve her ''.
to add something to prove the '' i dont deserve her '' :
yep because you know these specific behaviours and doom scenarios of yours are retarded , it's because she's right and you have no defense or argument.
-----------------------------------

beauty is NOT IMPORTANT REGARDING A RELATIONSHIP..... think of it ... it's retarded because a beautifull girl is more hit on by other men. Beauty is important if you want sex and beauty is important if you like to walk on the beach , hell beauty is even important when you go to work - you need to shave.
Problem 1 ( with most guys ) : they approach a girl , pick her up , land into a relationship and after a while they get insecure..... DUDE she picked you... you picked her up but she ALLOWED you to pick her up. All these PUA guys think they are picking up chicks ... yeah they do maybe for 50 % because in order to pick a girl she needs to allow you to game her.

Problem 2 (in short) .. this one is stupid and i have gone through it : guy gets approached by very hot girl.. it's outside his reality and outside the pickbook theory. Guy concious and subconciously conditioned himself to socialize with these pickup theory and tactics thus he made a belief from it. Girl doesn't respond to his reality - girl approached him thus he doesn't feel deserving of this girl because according to his feelings and thoughts ; he didn't pick her up because she approached him , he didn't get her validation BY picking her up thus his PUA identity is not getting validated.

my god guys ... if you pickup a girl just have fun ... just fuck and kiss her , who cares if she's a slut or not ? slut is just a subjective meaning , all these fears fearing cheating is bullshit. In the end you are going to die ... maybe you die next month.. why not go into a relationship with healthy thoughts ?
get your issues fixed and go !

The way you live your life and the self dialogue determines your confidence level.... If you do not know where some things are coming from you need some clearity , ask yourself some serious questions!
it could come from everything ... maybe your new GF looks a little bit like the cheating trashgirl and now you are pushing her away.
all issues are unoncious and you have to make them concious... Don't involve your new GF, when you are with her HAVE FUN and when you are alone WORK ON YOUR ISSUES.

you can become concious of issues by :
induction ( first hand experience, self reflection etc )
deduction ( second hand experience, inspiration etc )

pickup some material about inner game, pickup some material about psychology, some people say ''get real'' i say get real and get intelligent !
some good material :

Anthony robbins : personal power classic ( audiobook is great ! and downloadable p2p)
RSD Blueprint decoded
Anthony robbins : awaken the giant within

you only need to get concious of your issues, if you stop posting and stop working on making it concious you probably sabotage yourself and your relationship. so you need to keep working on it and you need to keep posting on the forum(s). also have patience ... nothing will instantly make it better , all helpfull things point you in a certain direction until you can solve issues yourself.

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AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
questions about herbal medicine here-vp582526.html#582526