This has been bothering me for a while.

"should I be doing this with this girl?"

Then it went two ways.

Either I asked if she really wanted to do what I was planning and she'd usually lose interest.

Or I did what I wanted to do nonetheless and it happened.

I either doubted the girl's own ability to say no (kinda like you'd treat a retard (extreme example))
Or
I trusted in her to say no.

The point is, take responsibility for yourself, not for others. It is demeaning and usually shoots you right in the foot. It is also somewhat arrogant to be making choices about someone else's life. I'm in reality not smarter and I don't know better.

Everyone has their own responsibility to what they let into their lives.


People can decide for their own what they want or don't want. (at around 20 the prefrontal cortex is fully matured, this part of the brain deals with decision making)


Replace responsibility for another person with trust in another person.

if you ask anything you go logic on her .... whenever you activate her logic you cutoff the emotional conversations or relationship.
the girl assumed something sexual .... this says more about her ... a girl never wants to be responsible because social conditioning and society in general has a certain thing against slutty behaviour - since woman are social creatures she associate pain with logci responsible behaviour towards sex.

from a evolutionary standpoint ... if a girl is responsible and she fucks up people are going after her , and she's a woman without many defensive capabilities since socializing is her main strength in a social circle.

if it has anything to do with the brain .... im sure .. will it be the deciding factor ? no .... i had 15 and 18 year old girls who reframed the conversation and forced descisions upon me even tho im way older.

responsibility is a big word and again a subjective definition ... girls/woman who are not willing to take half the responsibility are just insecure people who don't accept their sexuality and are being reigned under social conditioing and superficial values. she enjoys sex as much as you and if she's having sex you are not fully responsible.....

this whole responsibility thing in society which is forced on men is a weird social Phenomena , why woman have more rights in certain countries is really a big '' ? '' since it should be equal.
Trust is also a subjective meaning... you only give big responsibilies to people who you trust the most , but why are girls having one night stands ? why do you want to give responsibilites to someone whom you don't trust even tho you are in the moment ? you can't blame the brain .. i had 1 and second night stand with a veriety of girls with a variety of age ... ( no not 12 year LOL )

Since you rewire a girls associations ( psychological ) during the pickup you are of course the source of her neural conditioning thus making you responsible for her state but not for the '' decisions she make '' altho you are a direct influence for her current behaviour.
People who get changed have a willingness to change - thus it's the persons own responsibility.

and lets face it ... you cannot trust anyone ..... cheating happens even after multiple years and many shit more. you can try trusting someone however trusting someone 100 % is impossible .. neural-conditioning and self-hypnosis is possible.

if people cannot decide you should decide for them ? idk
however : people who cannot decide choose to not knowing wether to decide , to my opinion ; people who don't decide are doing it out of fear.

i also agree with frued(ism) ( as a adding factor ) ..... woman are in their deep subconcious envious of men and don't accept their sexuality - with a dynamic influence /factor in subjective memory and how her parents treated her - i feel no need to give a explanation of 210 fundemental pages.
altho no factor or influence seem to be deciding and permutations exist we cannot pull of conclusions or put responsibility on a certain gender. too many variables for every individual - the art of psychology.

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The subject of this thread is making decisions for her, thinking you know what's best for her.

Not making sure she has someone to blame so you two can do naughty stuff without her being called a slut. It seems like you were getting at that. If you want to discuss this further, make your own thread.


please stay on topic before people are going to get confused.

I agree with you, Jav, that it's the girl's responsibility to decide for herself how she wants to handle a certain situation and that thinking it's your responsibility is both unfairly burdensome to yourself and strongly tinged with arrogance.

The only thing I would add -- just so some people don't read this thread and think they have license to act like dishonest dicks -- is that it's important to mediate a girl's expectations. Be forthright about the contours of what you're looking for. In my view, as a matter of respect and good karma, it's essential not to, for example, tell a girl you're looking for a monogamous relationship when you're just looking for a quick lay and/or to sleep with multiple women. Otherwise, yeah -- it's up to her to decide what's best for herself and to hold up a stop sign if she feels uncomfortable with either a specific or a general sexual/relationship situation.

well if you are a sex addict you probably think having sex with her is the best thing you can do ''for her''.
thinking you know what's best for her ? .... if you want to pickup woman you need to lead , thinking what's best for her can be a destructive mindset if you want to get her since it can lead to hesitation or indecisiveness which is utterly unattractive.

ethics are personal, your question is simple and short still i find it hard to give a clear answer. i think you cannot decide for people who decide not to decide ... if you get my drift. as long she isn't drunk and as long you are not fooling her just to get her into your bed it's ok....
no this is not my point ... but let's stay on your topic

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AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
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I have mxied feelings. In one hand, everyone has the right to make their own choices.

On the other hand taking responsibility is core to being a leader.

It's a split, if you are leading a group and your picking where you go, if you see yourself as the leader of the group then you SHOULD be taking responsiblity and thinking of where to go.

It's like if you invite someone over to dinner, it would be terrible manners to cook something that only you like. But similiarly it is also very presumming to pay for someones food at Mcdonalds.

Part of being say a provider or being a leader is taking responsibility.

Taking responsibility when no one expects it however, is a different matter.

it's a little bit paradoxal ... maybe we should not label actions as a responsiblity. yes but they also assign you the leader role - they accept it thus providing you a temporarily identity.....
if you accept it are you responsible ... ? i prefer to let people are who they are so they can express themselfs by just not accepting their judgements ( assigning leader role )
what is your opinion ?
im more one of those folks ,

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AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
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Not entirely certain what the question is.

But, if people look to you as a leader, chances are they do so because you look out for the group.

This is in theory and in real life; EVERY decent alpha male has taken care of others around them.

if you don't take responsibility, there is nothing wrong with that, you can still do well for yourself, get laid etc. Just don't expect to be a leader anytime soon.

Jav can certainly clarify for himself, but my impression is that his point is not about responsibility in the sense of leadership in the context of group dynamics. Rather, I see it as being about one-on-one situations with a girl, and about a guy's possible inclination -- and presumptuousness -- to feel responsible for deciding what's in the girl's best interests, instead of trusting she's capable of saying no to situations with which she's not comfortable.

Thank you. you get what I'm aiming at.

It is purely about the egoistic sense of 'knowing better' and oppressing someone else's value because you think what's best for that person.


Leadership is a factor apart. I'm not a leader figure, atleast I don't see myself as one. I really don't care if I have followers or not. The rsd 'wandering nomad' seems to hit quite a chord on my side of this whole deal.

But on leadership, you have to know in a vague way what other's desires are. And should try to recognize them for it. also known as giving value. You are giving value because you know you have enough to go by. I don't really think this makes you responsible for other people's happyness or neither should you be influencing what they feel or experiencing, you are showing something it's still their decision to take it or leave it, you are trying your best. If other people don't feel satisfied by that then they should fuck off (hurr durr)

@lodewijk, I get the feeling you haven't fully read what I wrote before posting.

Wow. It's amazing how many words have been dedicated to such a simple issue:

MEN SHOULDN'T FEEL GUILTY FOR WOMEN'S BAD DECISIONS

At some point, a woman has pull up her big-girl pants and say, "I can't blame mommy and daddy (or my lovers!) any more for my mistakes. If I screw up, it's my own damn fault." That's not being a Machiavellian arsehole or a woman-hater, that's just being practical. Men have enough on their plate without worrying about whether or not a dame is going to be flaky at that special moment (IMO that's just an inner-game issue anyway). The only things that men should worry about are 1) STD protection (duh), 2) Trusting the woman enough for her to say "no" when it's not right for her, and 3) Having the self-control to back off when she does say "no".

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haha

This!

Thank you, DarkSt0rm for cutting through the crap. Makes my head feel much better.

And thank you, Jav, for a good post. I think it ties in with a lot of issues that guys can have with girls, and thus should be useful for a lot of people.

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Don't hate, just dominate.