A bit long, but it's all relevant. I'd love to get some thoughts on this from someone who has more experience.

Last weekend I met this beautiful woman, i'd say an 8 or perhaps even a 9. I am quite new to the game but I eagerly took up the overwhelming challenge and used the resources of this forum as best I could. See my previous post on "PUA resistant woman" for the whole story.

The short version is that she came home with me and spent the night: Kissing but no sex. We hardly slept and spent the whole next day together talking, kissing a bit and going to the movie theatre.

So yesterday we went on a date to a jazz concert. I was advised by AFC royal to focus on good conversation (keep it interessting) and to demonstrate higher value. It went well. I threw in some subtle kinoing that was accepted and mildly returned. Later I walked her home.

On the way home she told me that she had a bad conscience becuase the night we'd met she had made out with a friend of mine earlier in the evening. I told her I didn't care and acted all cool about it, which she liked, I think. I teased her a bit about it.

Outside her house I really wanted her to take some initiative (I was trying to be the price) so I just smiled a lot on looked into her eyes and made funny remarks with sexual connotations. I felt it was going well. But then suddenly she changed and told med that she didn't want to take further (ever). The reason she gave was that she liked me too much to sleep with me because she said she knew herself well enough to know that she'll tire of me shortly and than we wont be friends anymore. I told her that that I wouldn't mind being discarded (it would suit me fine, since I don't want a relationship now) and that I thought we could probably manage to do both the sex-thing now and continue the friend thing later. I meant it. But she seemed to have made up her mind about it. There is of course the chance that she just wanted me to try harder. I really didn't know quite how to respond, so I said, "I don't know how to respond to that". She tried to explain but I cut her off and said in a friendly smiling manner that she didn't need to explain herself to me. I kissed her a couple of times in a last attempt to change her mind. She didn't mind and kissed me back, but didn't change her mind about the sex. Then I decided that best thing to do was to kiss her good bye and get out of there while I could still hold my smile and play it cool, like it didn't really matter to me.

So since I just came out of a 5 year long relationship that I ended, this is the first encounter I've had with rejection in the last 5 years. It hurt. Not because I'm in love with her (I'm not), it just felt really really bad. On my way home I texted her "No hard feelings ", because I felt the best way to play it was to let her know that it's not a big deal to me, at least until I can figure out a new strategy.

So how do I play this from here? Now that I've had some time to think about it, I think I could have more chances with her later. I was definitely too nice and should have negged her more. I am generally a very nice and polite person, and I suffer from chronic honesty, which I'm starting to think is hurting my game. Girls like it, but not in the right way.

I'm pretty sure that the physical attraction is there, though perhaps not in sufficient quantities, but there is at least something to work on there. After all she met up with me last saturday night and came home with me and spent the night. She has given me plenty of IOI's and we've had lots of flirtatious eye contact.

I think she is actually being honest. She knows her own story and clearly she has a history of driving men crazy and then loosing them as friends, and now she tries to break that pattern. Lucky me.

What I think I should do is to let her know soon, that I am not at all bothered by her rejection and that I too want to be just friends. I should as soon as possible try to meet someone else so I can put her behind me and get used to handling rejections. I was also considering the idea of inviting her when I go out to sarge and use her for pre-selection. This might serve the double purpose of getting me another girl while at the same time perhaps teasing her and forcing her to reconsider her choice. If she realize what I'm doing, all the better since I think she's more likely to have sex with me if she starts thinking that I'm an a-hole.

Now I go back to the basics. I still haven't done the newbie challenge and this girl might just have been to big a challenge at the time. I'm determined not to let it break me, and I think I'm already pretty much over the remarkably frustrating emotions that her rejection caused me to feel.

I'd love to get many opinions on this one. It might be too late to fix, but I want to identify my mistake and make sure that I don't ever make it again.

Thanks for reading this.

Ahh I feel your pain. It's frustrating isn't it? Well dude it is all a fine art. I suppose that's why they call it being a pickup "artist".

So listen at some point it does matter and you should NOT be indifferent. The whole friend thing is complete and utter bullshit. Don't let her tell you that and be all nice about it. Tell her you are offended and thought you really had something with her. I'm sure you'll get a lot of advice on the forum about this.

I'll give you a story about what happened to me a while back. I had a girl try to give me the friend talk because I escalated a little too quickly and she had just gotten out of a relationship.

Her: I just want to be friends is that OK?
Me: Nope
Her: Should we not do this tonight?
Me: Look quit worrying about it and we'll work on your feelings
Her: I just got out of a relationship
Me: I don't care so did I
blah blah blah
The point is I shut her down faster than she could think! The second she mentioned friends I just basically said no it is not OK. I continued to KINO her and she accepted it. I didn't end up going out with her again only because I actually found I just couldn't stand her. I only wanted to f close her that night anyway. She wasn't up to my standards.

Well hope that helps a little. Good luck!

I love this forum. It so often turns out that what I think I should do is exactly the opposite of what I actually should do. It's great to get it straightened out.

I'd love to get some more thoughts from other people on this situation.

The reason for this is very simple. We had grown on a society where men are meant to adore women, all comes from the exessive feminism (equality yes, but women are not supperior) that teaches us from chilhood to bend over women wishes, they become the prize, a very expensive one, cause it makes u to annhiliate ur manhood.

So in this situations u tend to use ur intuition, we trust it as a part of ourselves and end up thinking "Saying to a woman u r not alright with something she chooses? NO WAY!!!, ill loose her!!". See? She is the prize.

PU arts are counter-intuitive, if u say "no, im not confortable with this" not only ull be triggering the "willingness to emote" switch, but also showing that u dont let people control u, a MAJOR dhv.

Girl HATE, and i mean REALLY FROM THE DEEPEST OF THEYRE GUTS HATE a guy who will always comply to them without showing any personality or opoinion. The do sense when we try to qualify to them, and for that they have tons of AFCs arround, and probably better looking than u or me.

Dont feel unconfortable to show when u dont agree with them, if u do it in a polite but dessisive manner, shell pay much more attention to u.

_________________
"Atraction is not a choice" - David DeAngelo

You seem to hit the nail on the head there. In this case I think I got too comfortable with her. I felt that I was already home free and did too much pleasing. One funny thing that I have learned here that really seems to work is to not pay for the girl. Yesterday we went up to the bar together and I was determined not to pay for her drink, but she kept going through her bag, so I just paid. Later when we had finished our drinks I told firmly to go up to the bar and get me a drink. She laughed and did what I said.

I think you make a very good point and since I am now eager to go out and try again I will try to focus on this. I will try to comply as little as possible with whoever I'm talking to.

A last thing about this girl. A part of me want to call her up and say something like. "hey you know what, I'm not ok with just friends. We had something here and than you suddenly make a 180 degree turn." or something along those lines. I don't know what the purpose would be but I think it might feel good. Any ideas on what else I could put into such a phone call?

The thing is also, that now I don't really feel that keen on her anymore, but my pride has been hurt and that is bloody frustrating. Aaarggh.