I'm not naturally social. So far, I've been happy as loner, and haven't really made any real friends, more acquaintances. This obviously hurts me in a lot of the things I want to do, so I'm in damage-control mode.

I'm looking for suggestions on how to destroy my recluse image around my college Uni, and build up an attractive social group. The first things I plan on doing are simple: overcome my AA, work on smal chat and calibration, look people in the eye, open up body language, smile, say hi to everyone I come across, etc.

Any advice from others who've been through similar situations would be great. This will take some major lifestyle/habit changes for me, so any tips on ways to initially sarge alone, build groups (from scratch since I don't have experience w/ this) would be incredible.

have you been a loner your whole life or was it from highschool on throught college or was it just college..?

Do you know that "Yes man" movie with Jim Carrey? I didn't like it, but it makes a sort of a point, don't say no to a social gathering. I used to be some what of a loner (many times I preferred the comfort of a whiskey bottler over the company of people, sometimes I still do) but I made myself a rule - everytime I'm invited to somewhere, even when I think I'm invited for manners sake, I go.

Plenty of times I'm lazy and don't want to, but later on I'm happy I did.

* Add people to facebook. this sounds silly, but it makes sure you're remembered. Also it's a good way to meet new people passively (talk to people by comments, you will meet some of them later on I promise).

* adapt a "team" hobbie - sports make a good start.

* Bodylanguage I haev a story about it but I'll cut it short - you can't make new friends without the right BL.

Since your in college I would say the best route would be to join a few clubs and organizations and to start working out at the student gym.

I recommend the clubs and organizations because they are their for the specific reason you are after, social networking among people with similar interests. After attending a few meeting and making an effort to not be a wall flower and you will be sure to have met a few people who are willing to befriend you.

The gym is also a good spot to build a social circle while making yourself more socially and physically attractive. You may run into someone from class and strike up a casual conversation about class or how f'in packed the gym always is, beginning to build a report with them.

The key in all this is confidence and defeating your own personal negativity. Don't be afraid to start a conversation with people out of the blue, just remember some of the rules of engagement such as not approaching them from behind and not leaning into their "space".

I hope this helped

_________________
"Make Way For The Bad Guy, Because You're Never Going To See A Bad Guy Like This Again."-Antonio Montana, political refugee from Cuba

Since your in college I would say the best route would be to join a few clubs and organizations and to start working out at the student gym.

I recommend the clubs and organizations because they are their for the specific reason you are after, social networking among people with similar interests. After attending a few meeting and making an effort to not be a wall flower and you will be sure to have met a few people who are willing to befriend you.

The gym is also a good spot to build a social circle while making yourself more socially and physically attractive. You may run into someone from class and strike up a casual conversation about class or how f'in packed the gym always is, beginning to build a report with them.

The key in all this is confidence and defeating your own personal negativity. Don't be afraid to start a conversation with people out of the blue, just remember some of the rules of engagement such as not approaching them from behind and not leaning into their "space".

I hope this helped

_________________
"Make Way For The Bad Guy, Because You're Never Going To See A Bad Guy Like This Again."-Antonio Montana, political refugee from Cuba

join a club or sporting team?

forced to meet people and they are usually more welcoming that way

i feel ur pain tho bro

just keep at it.... there is always hope.. and its up to you to want to change..