I dated a girl back when I was an AFC. I basically made every AFC mistake in the book and not surprisingly she lost interest. Now that I've been learning from the PUA community I have been correcting my problems and coming off as much higher value to people. Anyway, this semester me and this girl are in a couple classes together. I ignored her for a few weeks and then she started sending me all these IOIs. Finally I talked to her again, and she's obviously very interested again.

I'm trying to come up with a good way to give her the impression that I am screening her (i.e. "what are your three best qualities other than your looks?"), but the problem is that I already know a lot about her from before, so if I just ask something direct it will seem strange.

Basically I'm trying to convey that I have a lot of options, trying to make her chase me, trying to make her work to "win me over". I feel like I need to establish these things if there is any hope of the relationship working smoothly this time around.

How much DO you know about her? Do you know what her goals in life are? Things like that? Or, maybe things have changed since you talked to her before. Just let her know that if you are going to invest your time in her, she needs to be clear about what she wants, so you can see if it lines up with what you want.

That's a good idea, I'll try to go with something like that.

Keep us posted.

Ugh.... Today she seemed totally uninterested. I made a feeble attempt at conversation, but nothing went anywhere. I think I'm just going to avoid her altogether. This was exactly what I went through before--she would seem extremely interested one day and totally apathetic the next day. Goes to show the power of push-pull/hot-cold. But I can feel myself slipping back into an AFC around her... bad deal.

Time to forget about her and just walk away.

YEA Man... i have a few like that from my old days...


its best to leave them be... and sooner or later they come running back, especially now that you changed... but hey man u are becoming a PUA now... once you master it your options are unlimited...


dont fall back into one-itis again....

trust the cure....PUA

_________________
SHURGS




add me on myspace www.myspace.com/jshurgs

Don't just be reacting to her girly emotion swings... If she's moody and PMS-y one day bust on her for it, its not your problem.

Excellent advice there. You'd be best advised to take both of their advice. Shurgs and flipside. You DO need to bust on her for it, and THEN freeze her out. Act like she doesn't affect you ONE WAY OR ANOTHER. At first she'll probably not care, but after a while, she will probably wonder why you don't care when you keep busting on her. The point is, she HAS TO KNOW that you don't care whether she likes you or not, so DON'T show any IOI's. NONE. Just keep your frame bigger and stronger than hers is. YOU are the catch, NOT her.

Hey guys, thanks for the advice.

I have a theory about what's going on with her and why she seems so hot/cold all the time. Part of it was probably because I created a lot of uncomfortable situations it the past and after a while she started to avoid further awkwardness. But I think the big thing is that she expects me to take the lead with everything, and never to make her lead or ask her what she wants. It's not natural for me to think this way, but I'm going to try it.

Last week when I broke the ice again, I just walked up to her in our drawing class and told her that I had a "plan". She seemed excited/amused by the idea and went along with it. My "plan" was that we were going to switch drawings half-way through the class to confuse the professor, who was going around and making comments/suggestions. He didn't think it was very funny but we got a kick out of it. Also, she started complimenting me on my art abilities.

Anyhow, a couple of days ago I saw her outside of class and I beckoned her over and told her, "Keep in mind... that it's your turn to come up with a plan." And she said "Oh, no. I hate you! (in a playful tone)".

The next class is on monday. At this point I'm ready to just take it to the limit. I'll get there early to see if she sits next to me. If she does, it's on. I've got a bunch of routines in mind to exhibit a cocky-funny attitude and stronger leadership characteristics, and hopefully some kino (that was one of the biggest problems before.. I was too afraid to do much kino). If she doesn't sit next to me I'll walk by and say, "You didn't come up with a plan, did you?" and go from there.

I'm ready to just take this where ever it's going to go and get it resolved. It's gone on too long and I've suffered way too much heartache over it. I'm trying to just treat her like an experiment at this point, see if my theory works and if not I can finally just label it over.

Wow, didn't mean to make such a long post.

what needs to be done is this, take her to a party of some sort... mingle with other women in front of her... and be C&F with the other girls and make sure your girl sees you talking to these women and making them laugh... maybe run the 3 blind mice routine with these other women while neging her... go from set after set rolling off and coming back... you'll start to get her attention then....

Today went pretty well. I put up a cocky-funny attitude all day. Teased her a lot, talked to her a lot. I played the 5-question-wrong-answers game on her. She asked to borrow a paintbrush and I told her okay, but she'd have to give me five bucks. She seemed to be enjoying it all. At this point I feel like I need to start doing some sort of kino. I think I'll try a trust test + palm-reading routine next class.

The other thing is I've been trying to think of a context that I could ask her out but wouldn't be just a one on one date. Sadly, I don't have many friends in town any more. I was going to have a female friend and my male roommate go with me to a free showing of Ratatouille, so I could go up to the girl and say that me and my friends were going to see it and she should come. But the female friend is going to be busy that night and my roommate is kind of... socially awkward. And I don't know of any parties happening or anything. *Shrug*

NEVER ASK HER TO GO OUT!!! instead tell her she's been such a good sport that you'll let her take you out somewhere...

"Hey (Insert HB name here), my mates and I are heading over to this show called Rat-a-too-ie this coming Sunday. Why don't you come along with us, after all I'm sure you'd enjoy watching a cartoonized version of yourself"

That shouldn't be so bad, it IS asking her out but in a way that you're not going of because OF her. You don't NEED her.
Or

"Hey (Insert HB name here), you've been such a good sport and I loved the last plan you came with so much I've decided to take you out. Sunday evening, location is a surprise.'

Which do you think is better?
And well, I normally ask girls in this fashion, but once they say thing likes "Oh I'm not sure if I'll be free on that day", "I'll have to look into it first", "No, your girlfriend will be jealous"... I need help answering these thanks.

David D gives a great response to these. As SOON as she hesitates, you PULL THE OFFER BACK. "Nope, nevermind, didn't want you there anyway", and WALK AWAY.

Fail. Again today she was unresponsive. She seemed to be sending some weak IOIs in the first class, but not a whole lot in the second class. I couldn't get my foot in the door to run any routines because she was concentrating on the classwork the whole time. With class running out I just said screw it and said that she should come to the movie on Friday. Bad timing, bad approach. She said, "I'm thinking about it. I might go with some friends..."

Okay... I know that story. She's used that line before on me. I'm 90% sure she's not going to it with friends, and even if she were she is conveying that she'd rather go with them than me.

I think I tried for too much too soon. I had pictured more escalation today but there just wasn't any time. I'm pretty sure she doesn't have the LJBF attitude with me because things were really awkward between us at the end of the summer and she was the one that re-initiated things between us. I seriously doubt she would have done that just to have another friend around.

So I'm just going to play freeze out--Assume in my head that it's over and if she changes that assumption, alright, I'll roll with it.

Edit: Okay, I got a (maybe) better idea. I'm going to send her a message over facebook, really cocky-funny, telling her that I have me and my roommate and possibly a couple friends going to the movie and if she wants to tag along, to meet us there at x time.

I'm pretty sure she wont go for it, but at this point it's more damage control, I'm just trying to imply that I was going with my friends all along and I wasn't asking her on a 1-on-1 date.

Edit #2: Did the message thing. I wasn't expecting a response, but she responded almost immediately, said she might show up. She probably won't, but I think this confirms what I was originally thinking... She doesn't feel comfortable going out yet, but still wants to explore something between us.

Anyhow, I think this thread has gone way beyond the original topic, so I'm going to stop posting updates here. If I get in another bind I'll make a new topic. Thanks to everybody who helped me out, you guys are awesome.