Nostradamus
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I told her it's ok and its for the best and that I support her all the way. If I tell her that she gives up a great adventurous life with a lot of crazy stuff going on cus we form a great team; is this an insecurity/validation seeking way on my part? Or is it a secure way of telling her what she is going to miss in her life?
don't tell her anything , you cannot convice woman with logic because from a psychological perspective they are emotional creatures which backward rationalize alot. If you try to get a message across with pure logic she might rationalize it to anything just to justify her own actions.
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I also wonder how you cope with negative reactions, like;
you're an *ss
Sometimes I can't live with you
me: ''oh yeah well ... you know .. sometimes people are doing different things and sometimes you get a conflict.... everyone is human and nobody is perfect.''
her : '' you are not perfect at all ''
me:.... ''sometimes you feel perfect and sometimes not, in general i don't feel the need to talk about it.''...
her : '' you are weird ''
.... ''oh ok ... cool ..... im going to grab a drink''
cut off the topic even when she goes back to it
remain emotionally unaffected , ignoring is being reactive and defending a mental standpoint is reactive - don't qualify to her.
at picking up girls : if you ignore a girl most of the time they presumme you are intimidated by them and/or respectless , if you defend your point from a logical standpoint you are caring what others think of you or your ideas thus you are putting others way above yourself. If you don't care and when you know you're right you are active and remain emotionally unaffected - this is in my opinion self respect and value.
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Why won't you come sit next to me?
Why are you beeing a dick?
Why are you so quiet all the time?
Wow, what a loser ( I'd just laugh at these things)
laughing about it only rewards her because now you are giving her the unconcious/concious impression that she is funny.
how do i react?
well first of all i entertain myself second im piping it back to her....
why are you being a dick ?
'' well since when did you become lesbian'' or '' oh you don't like dick ''
Why are you so quiet all the time ?
'' because i don't have time for you''
Wow what a loser
''yeah and you got fucked by one''
or you can be unaffected .... just reply : oh .... cool ... anyway blablabla
you don't explain .. you don't have to explain to anyone and you don't have to be sorry , accept yourself for who you are and fuck other people who don't accept you. it's their problem and not yours
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I think people find me too relaxed. I never care, everything is ok, I don't worry, no need to be negative about anything. It's annoying to people. And I don't get this. It isn't a bad thing?
when someone is having a problem they want you to confirm their reality by telling them how bad it is and how much victim they are or they want you to tell ''it's ok'' so they can feed their own negative reality without taking action to change. if you are not eacting to their behavioural patterns or reality they tend to push you out of it , people want you to react negative so they can feel like a victim and do nothing - or they want you to react with '' it's ok '' so they get a feeling of acceptance and repeat their issue over and over because they identify with the problem - they want you to tell them it's ok to identify with it - they want you to tell them it's who they are.
When people see someone who is succesfull or rich they say '' he doesn't have the same problems that i deal with, he is lucky '' you hear that very often because people don't wnat to step outside their comfort zone and that is why they want other people to confirm their problems - people rather create artificial inner struggles instead of stepping outside their comfort zone and fear the death of ego. almost all people who are succesfull did put tremendous amounts of effort in their work and most people are not comfortable doing it so they make excuses not to do it. Instead of talking about the problem... please talk about solutions instead of asking other people to feed their ego. if you are relaxed about everything people assume you have succes to some degree because you are having something they have not : being relaxed.
last of all
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So, my girlfriend broke up with me.
she's not your girlfriend and she never been your girlfriend, i can fuck anyone and that does not make someone my grilfriend...... there is no such thing as ''MY''''girfriend'' because it's not my property. what makes a friend or girlfriend ? someone who does something for you without getting any profit out of it , they do it because it's who they are - high sense of values.
The one i call my girlfriend is the one im giving a ring or im having children with, since she isn't your girlfriend she never dumped you.
when a girl is really immature and seeking attention from me to feed their ego - often they do it by calling me a loser or something like it , i've said this a few times : you never dumped me because you never been my girlfriend ... leave and don't give the other side a chance to react.
the reason why ex-girlfriend wnat you to be a dick is so they can rationalize reasons to justify their actions for dumping you , don't give them a reason to rationalize.
example :
she '' your a dick sometimes''
me '' you are a fucknig bitch .. cocksucker etc''
what she now thinks is this : you are reacting and not of value , you are not boyfriend material because you are easily emotionally affected , she thinks you are acting like a dick throughtout the whole relationship since memory is subjective ( only by acting this once ) , she also compares you with her new date and now backward rationalize on how bad you were.
don't give her a reason to justify her actions
CHAT
