Gentlemen, please pardon my delinquency.

XtotheA420: Oneitis... think of your life as a train, it keeps moving forward. Those who are aboard are with you, those who have gotten off are off, those who are not with you yet... well, you're going to get there eventually. I know that it's easier said than done, but oneitis is something that can be overcome with rational, forward thought.

Gem: The first thing that I can see that you're doing wrong is judging women on the 1-10 scale and worrying about strict methods. Do not becoming outcome dependent. If you are already outcome dependent, stop. No excuses, just stop. Focus on having a good time, being social, and having a balanced life... the results will follow.

dasani: Yes, it counts. Absolutely. My opinion is what I said before... he's toxic and sabotaging you, or at least trying to. You're a lot nicer than I am, I wouldn't have been so nice about this issue.

furiousracer313: Dude, I think that if you're asking me how to open a girl & number close, you should be posting this in the newbie section. My first piece of advice is to not get starstruck... she's not all that special, she wipes her ass just like you do. Now, with that said, you're at work, you don't want to jeopardize your job by soliciting the clients.

Manos: Welcome to the community. You will become successful in the game once you figure out what works for you and, more importantly, what doesn't work for you. Remember, it's not what you say, it's how you make her feel.

Future_Obscure: Welcome. First of all, I'm sorry that you had a poor end to your last relationship. With that said, the end of that relationship opened a door to personal growth and self actualization. Do you realize why she wanted to spend time with you? It's 99% because you were acting like a normal person. Women are so used to guys always wanting something from them, they are used to fending them off. When they come across a guy who breaks the mold, it's attractive. Although, you did it from a position of poor frame... having done it from a place of solid frame and value, you would have made greater strides.

R1ot: Yes. I have felt this way... until I fell in love. Picking up women and sleeping with them is completely different than finding a woman, choosing her, her choosing you, and falling in love. Love is like God. Some believe in it, some don't. You make the decision.

Stand Up: Kino is like the old Bell commercials, "reach out and touch someone." Don't be afraid to touch! It's easy and people are very responsive to it!

Manic.: Honestly, if I was speaking to someone and in the middle of the conversation, they "phased out," I would phase myself out and start talking to someone who is actually listening, paying attention, and contributing to the conversation. Is it strange? Yes. How to stay in a conversation longer? Share your experiences. The #1 reason that people speak to one another is to learn about the other person... so put on a freaking class! Keep in mind that it's a two way street, speak, listen, respond. I say listen, I mean LISTEN. Don't just sit there thinking about the next thing you're going to say. If you do that, you're not really listening. My thoughts on narcotics is this: bad. I think that if you can't run game with a clear mind, then you are fooling yourself. Man up, get over your social anxieties by taking them head on, not by ingesting mind altering substances. With that said, I have been known to go out and have a cocktail now and again... I'm not a fan of narcotics, never have been, and I anticipate that I never will be.

BurningScarlett: No bother at all... (thanks BTW). I have no experience in living in a place where English isn't spoken, I can imagine that it's extremely difficult. I know that when I visit foreign countries (with the exception of Latin countries... for the most part), it's difficult for me to interact, nonetheless run game.
I don't think that I've very clear on you building upon natural game with friends. To my best understanding, I think that you're asking me about gaming in your social circle. I would be very careful with that because it can break a social circle apart very quickly if someone, right or wrong, feels that they've been wronged in any way.
Making more social connections is not something that you want to do? That's fairly counter intuitive seeing as social value is directly connected to how you behave... wait for it... socially! Just because you being people into your life doesn't mean that you'll be replacing your friends, not at all. Keep in mind that there are different levels of interpersonal relationships, not everyone is a friend. If you aren't practicing being social, you'll never get good at it. Being social is something that requires lots of practice and unwavering focus if you are / were like I was when I started this whole "lifestyle remodeling."
As far as not getting what you want. You've got to be hungry for results... not results in the female form, but in the inner game form. I believe that inner game is 90+% of game in general. With that said,you need to stop trying to find new things that work and start figuring out which things don't work. I wish that I could take credit for that, but, alas, I cannot.

I'm proud to help you guys out, I want to see each of you have a healthy, balanced life. Please make good, solid, quality decisions. Each and every decision that you make effects at least one other person on this planet, so take a moment to think about what kind of impact you will have on another person.

I'm Medic and I approve this message.

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Life is a game. Win.

little suggestion ... i touch people whenever i can, even when i walk past by them. i never get into fights - even when i touch girls who already got boyfriends. if you touch someone while passing by and they look over their shoulder for a few seconfs you can be deadsure they are interested. the Reason entertainer guys K-close girls on the dancefloor is because of the kino and kino alone.

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AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
questions about herbal medicine here-vp582526.html#582526

Thanks for the addition!

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Life is a game. Win.

Yesterday, I was having a nice, long dialogue with Stacey, one of the lovely young ladies that I am dating right now. She complimented me on my projected confidence. I suddenly found myself wanting to qualify. This led me to two points that I'd like to share with you.

Gentlemen, it is a great quality to be confident. Confidence will lead you to many amazing places and the lack of confidence will, undoubtedly, lead you to a place of sabotage and poor life performance. What many men do not realize is that being humble and being confident can, and should, coexist.

Humility is what separates confidence from cockiness. Before you jump from your chairs and start screaming about cocky/funny, that's not what I'm talking about. What I am talking about is drawing a line between confidence and cockiness. I can't really think of a solid example of when it would be acceptable and socially prudent to be cocky as opposed to confident. The line between the two is, as I mentioned earlier, humility. It harks back to Socrates' adage, "as for me, all I know is that I know nothing." To be humble to your flaws is an amazing virtue.

I, by no means, am pushing you to qualify yourselves when complimented. However, what I am pushing you to do is to take a moment to be introspective and accept the good with the bad in your life. They both are part of who you are as a person. Being aware of these flaws while portraying an air of confidence.

The second point is about qualifying. I used to do a LOT of this, it's a fairly normal behavior... emphasis on *fairly*. Anyways, my point is that it's easy to fall back into old habits, don't let yourself. Old habits lead to the old results. If you weren't happy in your old AFC ways, going back to those ways won't yield positive results.

Happy hunting.

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Life is a game. Win.

A question on self-doubt here, medic.

You see, before my venture into PUA and before I even figured out the fun behind females I never really had the issues I have today.

As much as I doubt my ability to get a girl at the moment, I am still proud to say that to this day there have only been 2 women in my life that I really fell for and both of them have been my loving girlfriends for certain periods of time. The first one would be around my 15th..It was a "Childish" kinda relationship, especially from her side. I was pretty ready y'know? But she was just too shy and just not ready for anything at all besides the warm giggly feelings. But it was the kind of situation where SHE initially hit on me and I just didn't want to know anything of it. She dumped me, ultimately. Had she not done it I sure as hell would've and truth to be told I got over it in less then a day and females and the issues they bring into many male lives never bothered me afterwards.

Then came a time around age 16, I met this 2nd girl at a friends birthday party and got her msn that same night, I also cycled along with her, her dad, a friend of mine and some friends of hers when we all decided to head back to our respective cribs. That night had been pretty good from what I remembered from it, I'd never been one to just try and K-close whatever I saw and liked, It's probably something I SHOULD be getting rid off but I just want nothing of kissing and anything beyond that without the knowledge of something more serious then just a fun night out going on.
This 2nd girl though, I was attracted to her, that was for sure..And all the little hormones in my body started going crazy whenever she logged onto MSN. We spoke on MSN just about always, I did realize at that time already that I should'nt be all to eager to give myself away, so the little things like just waiting for HER to strike up the convo's first and all that, I did that.
Then came the date..Sorta. It wasn't really a date because neither of us, had we discovered was really into that kinda deal. So we agreed to just meet up and shortly afterwards I was with her, heading back to our place.

(Please keep in mind that up until this point she had been downright denying any form of romantic feelings towards me, some of her friends were "nice" enough to inform me of this)

So we were at her place, I met her folks and we decided to watch some of the DVD's I brought along (Ace Ventura 1&2, incase your wondering) Seemed like my choice of comedy had hit the right spot, she loved the movies, we were both laughing and chatting about all kinds of stuff and well..Nothing happened between us but thinking back I could've kissed her back then.
That day the day turned to night and it went up till like...4 AM. That's when we decided that I might as well spend the night there. (We slept in her room but on seperate beds)
Now to cut this story shorter, a month or some later we were "Officially" a couple, I got my first kiss..Among other first time experiences (Never actually got laid, though) And all seemed fine till she dumped me after 2 months (And I know for sure that I was just being too clingy and claiming...My mistake, she had some habits I didn't like either but hell, we all learn from experience)
And THAT is when the depression started to slip in, THAT's when my self-esteem

(Which had NEVER been extremely high or anything, but alot better then it was then)

was shattered to pieces and that's pretty much where I am today..About 2 years later. I've gotten over her..Strangely enough she's already about 3 boyfriends later on now and yet she still tries to contact me every so often

(The dumping had involved the whole "I just hope we can be friends" bullshit and all that, y'know?)

So now I'm thinking back to those days..And honestly..I don't know what to think of it..Sometimes I think that perhaps I wasn't that much of a socially awkward fool as I think I am now..I mean I did actually get the girls, relationships not working out is usual stuff. For some reason though my self-esteem is still just not all that much up to par and it's from that 2nd breakup forward that I have been getting little luck with women..Am extremely afraid of rejection and simply don't really know where to go with my life..And that's when I discovered PUA. And altough it has definitely helped me on some points..I never really know what to take from it and what not. I've mainly been reading books on Natural Game and Inner game..Because that's what I'm just going for, y'know? I don't want to fall into some sorta pickup routine, I just want to learn how to be me, how to accept myself and simply take my current "Me" and shape it to the best it can be..I mean so far it's always been enough? Ofcourse I learned from that 2nd relationship and I have flaws to work on..But I just don't know whether I'm really the kind of person who has just about 99.99% of himself that needs work..Or just a fine guy who landed in the wrong spots and needs to learn how to crawl out of it.

I tend to hide things that are impressive because I don't want to come off as arrogant. its become a routine of mine, "social catch-phrases." There are things people say that they know will impress the other person; "I went to art school" "I've done some modeling/acting/designing" or even something as simple as "I'm going clubbing downtown.." among other things. its something said to entail that the person saying it is on a higher social or other network. When these things are said to me I try to stay unreactive. But, when I'm saying these things, I am very careful. I impress them first with my personality and charm. when the catchphrases come out it just adds on more.

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it HAS to look and sound real.

Dear people, i have a little problem and i hope that someone can help me

i have used the game on this girl and it basically worked. But this is one crazy girl.

I kiss closed her, but when i saw her 3 weeks later she introduced me to one of her friends and whispered something in her ear and laughed. She then did the sssssssst gesture, you know with one of her finger on her lips. She basically said dont tell anybody but without saying it. I am 100 percent sure that she told her girlfriend that she kissed with me. Her girlfriend was looking at me like omfg.

what can i do? how do i have to react when i see this girl again?

A friend of my is her ex boyfriend and told me that she liked men who were loud and dominant, what do i have to do? I asked her if she could do my hair because she works in a barber shop, how to react when i am there?

Hi, Medi!

You are a great guru!

Just to give a basic introduction. This is a newbie to the community. I have reading intensively from Mystery and Adam Lyon's writings since the end of last year as interest but took very little action due to study commitement (Im still in college).

I just started some real field action these days and had less than 10 approaches so far. My question is,

What's the purpose of sarging and how do we make use or maintain the contacts we have with HBs? Correct me if Im wrong I see it as a form of building a strong social circle of HBs and eventually a beautiful social life with women and a much greater chance of settling with an ideal HB?

My next question is about heavy calibration. I am not from the West and is living in Singapore. There isn't a culture of talking to strangers on the street, and it is easily perceived as someone trying to "get something from them" for e.g salesman (For Day Games). How do I first build strong comfort and rapport in such a culture?

Thank you!

Gents, once again, the auto notification thing on here is not treating me well lately.

Anywho...

@Scholz:
I respect that you recognize your flaws. I will say that your battle with depression is not without notice. You are not alone in that. I think that I speak for most everyone when I say that we all have been there. I know that I was there, quite deeply, at one point. The amount of strength that is needed to pull ones self from the jaws of depression is immense. Furthermore, the strength gained is greater than the strength used.

I would like to focus on and break down your last paragraph, I think that this is where the "meat and potatoes" of what you need is.

1: "For some reason though my self-esteem is still just not all that much up to par and it's from that 2nd breakup forward that I have been getting little luck with women"
- Breakups are tough, the key to reconciling them in your own mind is that it "takes two to tango." It's not 100% your fault or 100% her fault. If it's not going to work out, it's not gonna. Not everyone is meant to be together. Secondly, "getting little luck with women" is bullshit. Luck has nothing to do with it, it's skill and personality. Those women were blessed with your presence because you are a good dude and chose them to accompany you through part of your journey through life.

2: "Am extremely afraid of rejection"
- If you can scientifically explain to me what rejection is, I'll start to believe in it. Until then, it's a feeling that only exists inside of you. If you don't want to feel rejection, then don't believe in it. In my opinion, "rejection" is feeling bad because someone recognized that she isn't right for you before you did. I think that you should be glad that she did you the favor of weeding herself out of your life before you had to do it for her.

3: "...and simply don't really know where to go with my life."
- Where to go? Go up! Make your life more complete, whatever that means to you, do it!

4: "I never really know what to take from it and what not."
- I say to take as much as possible in, filter out the BS (there's a lot of it out there). Use what you believe will help you achieve your ultimate goal. Some "gurus" push you to buy products. What do I say? I say that some products are good, a lot are bogus. I gained more from surrounding myself with people who add to my life and by being introspective and honest with myself, than any book could have ever given me.

You're doing well. The path to self realization is a long one. My friend, be in balance with yourself and you will be happy. When you are happy, the results will follow... and by "results" I mean women, among other things.


@sacredstoryteller:
I agree with you to a certain extent. I share things with people because I'm proud of what I've done, how far I've come, and where I am. If that impresses them, that's on them... I have done many cool things in my life that I like to, and want to, share. I think that what my good friend, Hobbit, is getting at is something different than what you and I are both currently speaking of.

I think that what Hobbit is getting at is that when people hide their FLAWS from others, they are doing it as a defense mechanism. It's a way of presenting themselves as having no weak point, which people can see right through. Everyone has a weak point, every person on this planet. The "bigger man" is one who can stand up and express their short-comings and isn't afraid of them.


@sabik:
I don't particularly see the problem. She told you what she likes, just do it. I think that you should be posting in the Newbie section before you venture over here.


@cataclysm:
First off, I'm no guru. I'm just a normal guy. I want to see others succeed. I have been through just about everything and I am trying to share my mental profits with you guys.

1: "What's the purpose of sarging"
- Sarging is a way of getting used to interaction and interpersonal contact. It's said that it takes 3,000 to 5,000 repetitions to burn a movement into your body's muscle memory. While no one is expecting 3k-5k approaches to get good... the more people that you speak to, the better and more comfortable you will be with doing it. Furthermore, I'd like to quote the great R. Lee Ermey from the movie "Full Metal Jacket." Ahem... "It is your killer instinct which must be harnessed if you expect to survive in combat. Your rifle is only a tool. It is a hard heart that kills. If your killer instincts are not clean and strong you will hesitate at the moment of truth. You will not kill." That's why newbies sarge... except I don't want you to kill anyone.

2: "how do we make use or maintain the contacts we have with HBs"
- Well, I'm assuming that you have a cell phone, call them, text them, get together with them, touch them, make love to them, repeat.

3: "Correct me if Im wrong I see it as a form of building a strong social circle of HBs and eventually a beautiful social life with women and a much greater chance of settling with an ideal HB?"
- It's whatever you want it to be. That's something that you need to figure out for yourself, pursue it, and achieve it.

4: "How do I first build strong comfort and rapport in such a culture?"
- This may be tough, but it goes back to the purpose of sarging. If you get out on the street and open everyone, you'll soon find what works for you. It doesn't matter if you're from the east or west, people are people and like to feel good. As a person much wiser than me once said, "It's called 'pick up' because we pick up peoples' day." Just get out there and make people smile by showing them that you are a genuine person who just want to bring people into your life.

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Life is a game. Win.

Ladies and gentlemen, I (literally) just read this and think that it quite well fits what we're here to achieve. Think about it.

"People don't buy what you do, they buy why you do it."

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Life is a game. Win.

Dear Medic! I wish to know if these are good reasons for not having a Girlfriend.

I have no friends for a very good reason. I was in a depression for a couple of years and isolated myself in my parents basement. Since I have no friends anymore these issues come up.

* I can't hit on a girl at a place where they are more receptive. Like parties and clubs/bars. The first cause I don't know of any.
And the latter is not possible because that I'm a minority in a country where minorities need females or "majority escorts" to get in to clubs/bars.
This is another major reason after not having any money that I don't get on a course. I might drag the crowd down.

* When I "woke up" everyone had facebook and stuff. So if I would make an account on match.com girls might be asking for my facebook to check that I'm alright before meeting me...

What am I to do? My only answers is to approach girls like at the park or something? Which doesn't work, I tried it yesterday at the buss.

viewtopic.php?p=356048#356048

"Getting friends" is easier said than done and might be harder than picking up girls?

Social anxiety being an immigrant:
The problem with this is, if I sit at a café and drink coffee people think that I'm on well fare. And that I'm paying with their tax money instead of working.It's the same with walking around in a park, they think that I do it all day long. I can tell by their looks. Maybe I'm imagining it, but I don't think so. And this ruins the little self-esteem that I have.

Are these not good reasons for not being able to get an woman?

Thank you!

@Seal_Of_Solomon:
I hear nothing but excuses. Stop self limiting. No one can empower you like you can. If you see a goal, seek it out.

Dude, I'm gonna be harsh for a second. No one feels bad for you. The minute that you truly understand that, you'll realize that your projection of your insecurities is useless. Pick yourself up off the floor and get to work.

I think that you have a lot of work to do on yourself before you even worry about getting a girlfriend. It's not a bad thing, it's a positive thing. Being introspective and working on yourself is a lot more rewarding than external stimulus, in my opinion.

@cataclysm:
You're welcome, it was my pleasure. You know where to find me.

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Life is a game. Win.

No sir, not my source... nice vid anyhow.

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Life is a game. Win.

yo first of all I'm really happy to find that there are people on here who are into the whole gaming thing yet striving to cling onto their true selves. Yes finding out about the game does change you for the good but I see people who are changing for their best possible self rather than the best possible pick up artist.

My game style? I am witty and deviously saidstic which make me brim with joy the friend who got me in on this was reading double your dating by David DeAngelo. with friends I was the guy who loved a good piss take back and forth but with girls I'd play it so safe until they friend zoned me and from then I'd be like fuck it I'm free now and the teasing would begin. Now I'm like that all the time and I feel so liberated and I just wish there were more girls who would not just laugh when I teased them but would be witty enough to tease back, challenge me basically. I'm also more assertative now too wheras I was very fucking passive and tame before.

Question time.
This year from nights out I've kissed 16 girls so far, I don't know if that's a lot but it's a lot better than nothing. Problem? Haven't seen any of them again. Yes, there was the odd girl who I realised I shouldn't have even touched in the first place, some have age issues coz I'm younger and some have boyfriends (heck one time one boyfriend had to tell me that the girl I was with was his gf) but generally the ratio of girls that I kiss to girls I see again is still ridiculously low. I know it's not because I'm bad at kissing either. I know all the zones and I've made the odd girl moan by kissing her on her neck, and just generally by their grips gradually getting tighter on me. However it all just goes to shit after that night. Is it likely that the problem is in the fact I just met them or?

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:p