a week ago i made out with this girl that i have known for a while. we have been quite flirty for sometime but i was always to involved with other girls to ask her out. we've been talking and texting a lot since that night but have never gotten to hang out. she is always saying that she wants to hang out and will "text me later" with the details, however this never goes through. despite all her flaking she still texts me randomly as if to get my attention.

what can be done to solve her flakyness?

What an irritating problem. The best way to solve this is to build the attraction, but that's pretty much impossible since she won't come near you. Catch 22. Just ignore her. This isn't doing you any good. If she asks why you're ignoring her, just say you like her, but you want to surround yourself with people that like to go out and do things. And if you don't run into her normally, you don't run in the same circles, it's not meant to be. That's my gut feeling and saves you a lot of effort... however...

If you want to put in the work, you have to lure that girl out. You will have to proactively invite her to do things you know she will love. Here's the catch, even if she blows you off, flakes out, you still have to go out to the event and enjoy yourself. Text her the next day about how awesome it was and what she would've loved, make her feel like she missed out. You can do this indefinitely until she's out of your system and you meet up with new people since you're out doing interesting things. Those are your options. Or you can keep doing what you're doing and getting what you're getting.

minsok-
yeah. im opting for ignoring her, but then that doesnt really work because she likes to randomly text me. also, i see her a few time a week and we have some common friends. i go to a small college and am pretty well known, and so is she, so its kinda hard to completely ignore her.

i think my best bet is to just stop conversing with her over text and be very proactive, like you described, while in person--gives me a better chance to play her emotions. at least this is how i see it.

minsok-
yeah. im opting for ignoring her, but then that doesnt really work because she likes to randomly text me. also, i see her a few time a week and we have some common friends. i go to a small college and am pretty well known, and so is she, so its kinda hard to completely ignore her.

i think my best bet is to just stop conversing with her over text and be very proactive, like you described, while in person--gives me a better chance to play her emotions. at least this is how i see it.

Yeah, i think you got the right idea. If you see her in person, that does give you something to work with. Keep it light and playful.

i do have a similar problem. I read something once that said you need to set boundries, you need to be willing to walk away. It may have been the game Im not sure. So I say call her on it. Say if she cant make time for you, then you have quality people in your life and dont need to be bothered with flakey people.

worked for me.


If it doesnt work, chances are she was stringing you along for the attention in that your better off anyway.