Today a friend, who knows I am a PUA, asked me about what to do in his relationship. He and his gf have been together for like 3 years and they're 20 years both of them. They had a discussion about cheating and he told me their conversation went something like this. I told him I'd give him advice after thinking about it. Please help me

She told him that her mother had been cheated on by all of her men, and that's why she lives alone at the moment. He then said that "Cheating sucks" and that he couldn't understand how someone could cheat their partner. She responded with "Well, it happens." Then he said that his parents had been together for like 30years and that they hadn't had any other gf/bf during their life. Then she said in a jokingly way "That's not good at all. It's not healthy!" He replied with "Why is it not healthy to love one person over such a long time?" She then answered "Well, one shouldn't settle down to early, like your parents did. They were only 18 when they got togheter. I think it's necessary to check out what's out there before you marry each other or decides to stay with your partner." Then he didn't know what to answer because he was "shocked" as he said. He has planned on proposing to her this summer so I understand why he don't know what to do

Summed up, this is what she means about cheating:

* It happens a lot (which is true, but he thinks she looks at it like it's no big deal)
* That you shouldn't settle down too early before you have checked out what's out there (he has planned on proposing to her... he don't know whether she has checked what's out there lol)
* That it's not healthy to have only one serious relationship during a life
* She has a familyhistory where cheating has happened a lot.

What should he do? Forget about proposing to her and lay that away for quite some time?

- Consistence

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He could accept that she is right.

Or he could choose to live his life with someone who has not yet become disillusionized...

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I'm not trying to be a dick Ezo, but you're being a Pick Up Snob in my opinion.

bbardot: you just reminded me about porn

Neither one of them is right or wrong...its more a matter of opinion and morals.

Some people will always cheat and others wont its that simple. She is not the kind of person I would want to marry and from the sounds of things she will and would cheat....that just how she was raised and its how she thinks.

No thats not true.

Anyone can cheat. It is not a matter of personality alone, it is a matter of circumstance.

This is exactly the kind of person I would marry. She is strong and insightful. She manages to live on happily even though she has seen the darker side of humanity. She is disillusionized. The fact that she acknowledges that this is how the world works doesnt mean that she means to cheat on him the first chance she gets. She seems trustworthy to me. If you are looking for some lame loser girl who thinks that it is all about princesses and flowers and fluffy little bunnies (not including the evil fluffy bunny routine of course) then by all means go for it. But I tell you those are the ones who are not trustworthy. They are gonna hurt you because of their own insecurities and I dont wanna be anywhere near them when they finally realize that their little pink world is just a bubble they have created in order to protect themselves from the real world. It is gonna pop and Im not gonna be around.

I have seen both the good side and the bad side of the world. Not everybody cheats but nobody is safe from the temptation. The ones who knows what it is can handle it better.

Dealing with the world is the same as dealing with your own mind. In order to get somewhere you gonna know what the battlefield looks like. It doesnt contain bunnies. If you are gonna deal with it, get rid of what you want it to look like and start dealing with what it actually looks like. Reality check guys. You gotta wipe all shades of pink from your goggles and realize that every little spot of pink only hides something you would need to know. Tough luck, thats life.

Then when you have removed all the pink, you will learn to see that the other colors arent so bad. You just need to know what to do with them.

So, yes, this girl is stronger than your friend. Either he can deal with it or he cant. Worst case scenario, she will help him grow as a person...

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I'm not trying to be a dick Ezo, but you're being a Pick Up Snob in my opinion.

bbardot: you just reminded me about porn

Thanks for fast replies from dedicated posters

I'll think of it until I meet him tomorrow. Will probably go for Ezo's version.

- Consistence

_________________
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www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/golden-quotes-vt66810.html
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dude,

Ezo is totally right. But be careful with your advice, before you know it they are both blaming you for their own f-ed up bullcrap.

Tell them what Ezo told you, but ultimately advise them to take a few week break, just to smell what single life is like. This way you never steered to a break up (cause I think thats what the guy will go for if het gets "desilluzionized" like Ezo so eloquently put) and stay out of harms way.

in my opinion PUA's are the creators of relationships, not the destroyers, so therefore I found it important to add this advice to the one of Ezo's, whom by the way I much appreciate.

greetz

Bucc.

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I could not tread these perilous paths in safety, if I did not keep a saving sense of humor. -Admiral Horatio Nelson

It's an odd one really, personally I agree with her in what she says, however I'm not sure that I'd want to marry a girl who considers cheating to be normal. Though honestly I'm not sure that I want to marry anyone, as it's been said anyone can cheat if they're in the right situation, and I personally don't see how it's worth the risk, unless of course they're significantly richer than I am... then it's ok.

the guy should ask a question to himself

if a girl say "i never cheated and wont cheat ever"
so u trust her?

it matters what she does, but not what she says. same thing for guys.

A few guys have already mentioned that cheating is "circumstantial." It's the truth. The only way to keep a girl from cheating is to be her best option. Otherwise she will (and honestly, should) cheat.

I will agree that 99% of women will cheat...even the most faithful women can be persuaded to cheat under the correct circumstances, but for some women it is much much easier for them to cheat and for others it is not...If a women has high morals and her bf satisfied physicaly and emotionaly she will not cheat....she has no reason to because he has high value in her eyes and she would not want to loose him. On the other hand if she has low morals and is emotionaly and physicaly satisfied she will still cheat.

Example of two diffrent girls:

Girl 1 : parents are divorced, dad cheated on mom, she has a poor relationship with her father, her mom has raised her to beleve that all men will cheat, her friends are all party animals.

The chances of he cheating are alot higher even if she has the perfect bf!

girl 2: Parents have been togeather for 25 years, she has a great relationship with her father, her friend all come from good families ect ect...

She will pron never ever cheat if her bf is a good bf...she might if he is an ass hole or he is a complete afc but if he is a strong man and she is satisfied she will not cheat.

It is a matter of choice. Is it worth it.

Is it the end of the world if a girl cheats on you.

Imagine a scenario where you have 2 choices. Also you magically have seen into the future.

You know that:

Girl A: Is not that good looking, annoying and sweaty but you know that she is never gonna be unfaithful to you.

Girl B: Is amazing, beautiful and charming. But you know that she is gonna cheat on you twince in your life. The rest of the time she is gonna treat you like a prince.

Knowing this, which one would you choose?

Theres your answer.

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I'm not trying to be a dick Ezo, but you're being a Pick Up Snob in my opinion.

bbardot: you just reminded me about porn

She didn't said that cheating was normal, she said that it happened, and she is righ, it does happen! But never did she stated that it was normal... Its like saying "Well, stuff happens!" ... Now... She's 20 ... and they've been together for "like 3 years" so they were both 17 when they got together ...
If he would to propose, it would be bad for BOTH.... because at 17 starting a Lont term relationship, it really is not the best way to go... She is right, settling at 18 is waaaay too young.
You don't taste all the ice cream flavors before choosing one...
Plus.. its the "college era" its the time to have fun, and meet new people, once you should start to settle in my opinion would be when you're done with college... this is the age you should have the maturity to know what you want. I don't say get engaged at 21... but its good to start LTR ...
In my case.. I had a time of "having fun" from 16 to 20 ... right now I'm 20 and I really dont want to go around dating women a lot, I want to be in a relationship, a serious relationship, but thats what I want.... I didn't got into PUA to bed a thousand women, I just want to be in a relationship...
It is indeed not good, in my opinion to have only ONE relationship in your whole life!! You will regret it! You have to know the world!! The different kind of people!!
And if there has been experience of cheating on her family, likely is she won't do it ... even if its her first relationship...
If a girl has cheated and/or has been cheated, she knows the mistake, and she knows the consecuences that it will carry ... there is no such thing as "giving into temptation" a mature women knows what she wants. There has been a really big alcohol history in my family which attributes to the fact that I don't drink or barely drink.
Growing up, we take our parents as role models, so she saw what they did, and saw the consecuences, so she learned without experiencing it herself!!

I have an idea that will end all the uncertainty. Ask her...she might not tell you the truth but perhaps she will? she seem pretty honest?

Say to her "the other day you said all people cheat...so be honest will you eventually cheat in this relationship?"

If she says yes prob then you make the choice of ending it or not...if she says no than you take it for what it is and trust that she wont...and if she does then you break it off.

You guys are looking for insurance. There is no insurance. It is a leap of faith. If you cannot accept that someone might cheat on you, you should stay out of relationships alltogether.

In the same way that you should stop eating if you are afraid that someone will poison your food.

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I'm not trying to be a dick Ezo, but you're being a Pick Up Snob in my opinion.

bbardot: you just reminded me about porn