Hi, I´m 22 and never kissed a girl. I'm not a virgin because I had sex with a whore. I thought that would help me, but it didn't.

I've study the PUA techniques in months, but I couldn't get those on practice. I even read the book "The Game" by Neil Strauss and some materials of Ross Jeffries, David Deangelo, Mystery Method, but none of that worked. I even search for a psychiatres which I'm still going.

I'm a little but not a lot shy, many times before I went to nightclubs I said to myself: you can do anything, you're able to pick up a girl you want, noneless, my determination wasn't worth it in the field.

The weird thing is that I'm pretty good in other areas of my life, like work, college, study, I'm really determined for that, I've got succeed pretty well in those areas, but, on the other hand, in this particular area I'm a desaster, no mather how I'm determinate or how much my effort is, I just can't get through that dificult. My friends and family keep saying that I'm like Sheldon from that series "The Big Bang Theory", you know?

In fact, I feel like I've lost my entire life for not learn that early, I mean, the majority learn this stuff at age 14/15 or less, and I feel pretty presure that in my age I know nothing, it's really frustrate and it's more frustraring seeing other men pick up girls so easily that make me see myself as a dumb for not be capable to do that too.

I'm so determinate that I was fat and was able to lost weight, I chaged my haircut for a more modern style, went to the gym, got well-dressed, but nothing.

When I went to nightlubs with friends that have a little sucess with women, they point me several womem and what to say to them, but in the end that hasn't work at all, sometimes I go and say "Hi" and they just turn away, out side the fact that in these environments the music is too loud which turns dificult any kind of conversation.

A friend of my, who's realy success with women, recently offered me to go out with him and he'd help me to pick up women, although it may see good, I feel insecure cause in my head I keep think "I'm such a loser that I need help from my friend only to be able to talk to women" and the fact that I'm afraid that doing this I'll just recognize my failure. Maybe I'm too pride to admit that I need help from my friend, but I fear more that once he helped me he'd throw to my face that I'm only be able to talk to womem know only because of his help, and that would make my feel really bad about myself.

Recently, I read a topic here telling about the "affraid of going out alone", and I kept thinking that would be a good idea, as so I cound't blame anybody else which I didn't succeed and I wouldn't rely on my friends to cheer me up, especially if I see my friends pick up girls there while I'm staying near the bar, all by myself, but nevertheless I'm still affraid if I do that I'll feel more bad that I'm already feeling.

I already feel like I've lost time to not have learn that many years ago and every time I go out and can't pick girls up the presures grows bigger. Does anybody understand of what I'm going though? What do you guys think? Is my unsucess with womem based on the fact that I'm angry with myself or angry and jealousy with other men who can pick up girls, like the feeling that I have to prove something for them? If that's true, would be better if I started to go out by myself and see what happens?

I have basically the exact same problem as you except I'm 23. For some stupid reason I thought getting girls was all about looks and luck and that I would start getting girls eventually even though I didn't know exactly how that would happen. I'm an average looking guy so it's not like girls will be throwing themselves at me but they won't be repulsed either.

I started looking into this PUA stuff about 3 months ago. I have made progress albeit not as quickly as I initially hoped. A couple near F closes, about 10 number closes and half a dozen K closes and a few dates. Compare this to my prior results where I was basically void of any non platonic female relationships. I believe my progress right now is not as rapid as I'd hoped ecause of it is difficult to shake the bad social habits I have obtained over the years (like thinking I'm not good enough or the fear of stepping out of my comfort zone).

My progress hasn't been linear so far. there are some nights where I feel good and I can approach almost anyone, achieving mixed results. There are other nights where it takes a while to work up the nerve to approach and I only end up doing 1 or 2 approaches with bad results because of the nerves. On the bad nights I tend to focus on the negatives in my mind. Like what you said about it being too late to learn this stuff. I also get angry with myself for not being more outgoing earlier in life, telling myself I have wasted my best young years. These feelings subside the next day as I think about the progress I have made and the potential for future improvment.

I've had friends tell me that they have noticed changes in my behaviour and being surprised that I have started approachign girls because I never had in the past. I am also more confident dealing with clients at work and speaking with strangers even though like my game there is also room for a lot of improvement in those areas.

So just keep focusing on the future and forget about the past. My first post, I had to let you know that you're not alone.

Thanks for your support crisper, I'll keep that in mind!

Be bold. Every time you're afraid to do something, just do it. Always remember you have nothing to lose.

Don't give a shit.

_________________
-Fortune favors the bold-

The main aspects of your life look good, your determined with most things.

Forget lost time, it isn't lost time, I think Mystery didn't get a woman till he was around 24 and look at him now!

Strip yourself down and really think, it's time for change, I can do this.

The friend that offered to take you out seems like a good friend, otherwise he wouldn't offer to help, go with him, maybe you can learn a few new things.

Going out by yourself would help yes, but also go with a wing, they're good support if the person is good.

Just like Crisper and you, I am in a similar boat, and I'm about 3 months from 21. I wasted my teenage years sitting at home and doing nothing and gaining weight. I had a pretty low self esteem and thought things would eventually solve themselves but I soon realized that wouldn't happen unless I changed myself. I had a couple of girlfriends before but none of them lasting more than a month.

I thought that 95% of my issue with not being able to get a girl was because of my looks. I thought that if I lost weight and changed how I looked everything would even out.

So I ended up like you, losing weight (120 pounds), changing my entire look. I cut my hair, started wearing cologne and dressing as well as I could. My self esteem and looks are so much better than a year ago and yet I still have issues with getting girls. I ended up getting a girlfriend that lasted a couple months but it really didn't lead anywhere so we broke it off.

Originally like Crisper, I thought that getting girls was about looks and luck. But now that I actually look half way decent I figured out real quick that good looks aren't everything when it comes to girls and that personality actually has a lot more influence that I thought.

So frustrated and depressed with all the work I put into changing myself looks wise, and how I was in the same spot as I was prior to all that. I found this website about a month ago after coming across a PUA video on Youtube.

This whole forum has given me so much insight on things I had been doing wrong and things I was doing right, that it killed that feeling of hopelessness and gave me that boost I needed to keep improving myself. I have been reading this forum when I get spare time, just a little each day and it has already helped me get 2 numbers and now I'm able to keep conversations going at parties and with new people I run into.

Again, while I pretty much am just saying the same thing Crisper said. Keep looking forward and keep finding ways to improve and things will eventually look up. We are luckily are still young enough to were we have a lot of time to still improve.

Oh man,thats REALLY a good topic.
are you a good looking guy Harry? Average?

Answer me something,you dont really have problems into approaching the girls right?
your main problem is to get them into you,is that right?

go out and fucking PRACTICE,start approaching chicks on the street and malls.
Dont have the mindset that you HAVE to get the number,just treat it as a experiment,as a study or something,that way,you can see what works better.

and i can TOTALLY relate with you guys,i suck at getting girls,im fucking shy,i started the "improvement" in november of last year,since then i approach some girls.
okay,the number of girls is ridicilous,but since i had NEVER approached a girl in my whole life,actually is OK.
Sometimes i just want to give up,and get used to the idea that im never gonna get laid,and im pretty depressed nowadays.
I know what you mean,when you say you have to "prove" it to other guys,or that you feel "jealousy" of them,sometimes i feel angry for those guys who get all the chicks,i wish bad things happen to them hahaha.
I hope you improve your life man,you deserve it.
REMEMBER,you are THE man,always.
keep updating us,peace out.

I think you've got it smarpesh, I mean, in other words, you guys just described my feellings.

A thing u said came to my mind, it's really hard for my to approach girls, but when I finally successed, as I said, sometimes I just say "hi" and them turn their faces away, or else I just keep talking to them but that's it, I can't move on to the next fase, to really start to seduce her, although I read many times PUA sections and books. It's like I get "blocked", you know? Like, in your head you know what to do but your body just don't go with it, I think that's the more frustrate.

Like you said too, it's so bad when we see other guys pincking up girls so easily, while for us its a big challenge, and sometimes these guys are not very attractive, rude, treat girls like trash, but still womem like them, go figure!?

And you know what, and I personnaly think that's the worst part, when we ask them why they're sucessful with women, what do they do or say, they simply respond "I don't know, you just have to approach them, that's all, there's nothing I can tell you that'll help", "You must look her and see what happens then", "Those things are unable to be taught, you just have to try out and see what goes".

I mean, of course I don't wanna them to teach me exactly how to pick up girls as a job or something to be done, but it just kills me that in here you got people that share their experiences in a open way while these so called "alpha male", "seducers", just can't have the balls to do the same for us, their friends, giving us subjective answers. It's just like they don't wanna "share their secrets" and want us to be out of "their" game, breaking our self-esteem.

They just don't understand how that's difficult and important to us cause for them it's easy and they take it for granted, they don't stop to think that we don't think exactly like them, they just assume that we MUST KNOW IT because they've never had somebody to teachs them and in their head they can't think that's exists peope like us that don't have their falicities to pick up girls, as this must be knowed by every men on the face of earth because it's in our blood or something.

There's a word for that: carelessness, it seems like they, our friends, people that we go for help, don't care for us, cause we're abnormals, strangers or else.

I think that's why me and some people here feels angry or jealousy of them, or as I said earlier, like we have to "prove" something for them, as a matter of fact, might of be about these anger or jealousy cause when it comes the day that we finally got what we want, we can turn to them and say: "you didn't want to help me in the past, fine, now I just don't need you, I can go things on my own, including picking girls up, just like as you can", ya know? It's like some sentimental of anger and revenge force us to move on, u guys know what I mean?

Again, it's really good I finally found people that undestands what I'm going though and that I can talk about it, there so, once again, thank you to all.

Keep posting guys

Looks like one important thing you need to work on is your inner game for sure, and get past of your sticking point of "hi". Stacking is crucial when speaking to someone new.

Keep your head up, keep looking at material and ask questions, we will all help whatever way we can. Never give up.

_________________
Been there, done it, oh and still doing it!

: Blog entries@ http://kennyspuathoughts.wordpress.com/

Same problem as the OP although Im 28 . My advice study body language it helps. But for me its confidence even if a female noticably wants me to approach I just cant talk myself into doing it. I hope (bad word to use no power behind it) I get some pussy before 2012 and the poles shift and we all die but considering from where Ive started Ive come along way. PUA gives me hope.

3 second rule

Seeing as I'm going to be biased, because this worked for me, but the best advice I can give you is actually precisely the one you don't want to hear. Just stop thinking and worrying about it.

Think about it Harry, all these thoughts you've having about women and their behaviour, how much of that is imagination and how much is solid fucking fact? Who cares about when your meant to learn this? What are thinking about your friends taking the piss out of you?- oh! there goes your imagination again.

Fact of life, you get one. Find a passion, something that inspires you, its not hard. Than when you wake, follow that passion, aim to be the best. Don't sit in shit.

I mean who lives the stronger life? A man who's fearless or a man who has massive fears but faces them?

There are three paths to being better with women;
the bad boy who doesn't give a fuck about anything a women says. EG/ David x's two rules;
1) Who cares what they say
2) I'm the most important part of this relationship

The learned man; mystery method, ross jeffries

And finally, the lover, a man who realised he only lives once, and so he never asks anything from a women. Instead he just appretiates her physical beauty, and seduces her by placing a smile upon her face.

Hope this helps

I'm in much the same position as the OP, but I'm 32. So you guys complaining about wasting the best of your younger years - STFU. I guarantee you one thing. You are just around the corner from ending up in my position as me if you don't do something fast because a few years back I was the 25 year old reading about shyness on the internet and unable to do shit about it.

I only came across PUA a while back. Before that I had no clue such advice existed. At this stage my negative beliefs are deeply rooted. I encourage you to treat it like life and death. Fail, fail and fail again. Every day, until your ego is tired of it, and you have a lot of feedback to go on. I am finding it hard to practice what I preach, but that is my problem. Don't make it yours.

Ditto on what Sgt. Troy said...stop whining about the time lost. You are not going to get it back, so pity-parties about what could have been is just a waste of energy. Maintain focus on what's going on NOW. Also....

1) Always try, but if you keep getting stuck, stop, back up, and figure out what you're doing wrong. While you need to push through bad situations, you don't want to repeat what you're doing too much, otherwise you end up "practicing how to fail" and reinforcing bad behaviors, instead of practicing how to succeed.

2) Three-Second Rule....IT WORKS. It took me about 3 weeks of doing the Newbie Mission DAILY before I started to appreciate the wisdom of this simple little rule. If you have any anxiety on approaching, the less you analyze a social situation beforehand, the better off you'll be.

3) Be prepared. Have funny little stories and anecdotes memorized and ready to go whenever there's a lull in a conversation. Keep them in the 30-to-60 second range.

4) Enrich yourself. Instead of just going out to nightclubs and bars to sarge, try museums, art galleries, yoga classes, town history tours, etc. Not only are you working your social skills, you are broadening your horizons with a finer appreciation with what life has to offer.

5) Be patient. There's a TV show here in the US called "Hoarders", which chronicles the hardship of those whose mental issues won't allow them to ever throw anything away, even to the point of not being able to walk through their own homes! My point is that it took years of people accumulating stuff to get to the point of almost burying themselves in their own garbage. It only stands to reason that it's going to take more than a one-hour episode for them to not only get rid of all that "stuff" from their homes, it's going to take constant therapy to work at making sure they don't end up in the same situation in the future. Social shyness can bury you with loneliness, and in much the same way, it takes a long time to clear out all that mental garbage that's been suffocating the real you, and it's gonna take even more work to keep that shyness from coming back. Stay strong brother.