It's totally not cheating, and that's that. She was open and honest about it. You guys who are "threatened" by your girl making out with another girl, will just never understand this, it seems.

WORD!

Hey yassay, what're you gonna do?

I had an ex once ask to have sex with my best mates girlfriend. In all fairness, i slept with my best buds Gf before she got with him...but still...it was a bit weird. i decided to see how far she would go. i told her as long as i can join in (not intending to actually do it, hes my best mate after all) just to see how she would react to a threesome in general. she then told the girl and she told my mate, who was pissed until i explained lol so...youve already had threesomes so asking to join isnt an option, she obviously wants time alone with a girl to enjoy them properly, im sure you know what i mean. one on one and takin it all in. I think since she said shed rather do it "now" rather than regret not doing it, id say let them have their fun, you dont have to watch but maybe have them do it in your house, i know its weird but it may help keep a little dominance over that situation, helps you keep tabs on it yknow? and then say she can do it when she liked but has to ask you first, it has to be there and occasionally you may join em for a threesome if you wish. id say that sounds fair

this is my opinion , you should do what you want to do.
she could get a fucking STD from it and infect you ... totally selfish , cheating is not the act - but the intention.
do you even realize she could dump you because she likes fucking girls too much ? did you even consider the consequences ?

if people want to have threesomes they should do it im not here controlling and judging people. Personally if i had a girlfriend that wants to do a threesome i would ''probably'' do it and dump her. Do you want her to be the mother of your children ? fuckoff...
every progress you made in this relationship can be ''possibly'' undone by this ''threesome '', you are just compromising your relationship for her selfish fantasies. ( how much do you value it ? )

it doesn't matter what people say ..... thinking and saying are different things , maybe she thinks you are too boring in bed so she proposes a threesome. from experience people often cheat because their intentions are always different than what comes out of their mouth. And people who think there is a difference between man and woman are really ignorant, if i cut my penis off and sleep with your GF would that be cheating ? we are all human , if you think woman are a different race you are unconciously practicing rascism.
Girls sleeping together/threesome isn't regarded as cheating , because 90 % of the guys want to have a threesome , to like something you are unconciously supporting it.
sleeping with a human is cheating no matter if you are male or female. did she also said you are too boring in bed or anything ? do you really think you know her ? what if she already slep/kissed with other girls wihtout telling you ? '' hey honey....i want to cheat, i want to sleep with someone else , is that ok ?
look if she reallly really wants to do it and you can't stop her .. ok - she got her own life and you don't own her. but when your values are getting compromised you shouldn't agree.
cheating in your face is far more worse than cheating behind your back ..... intentions and words are not the same guys. something i learned during my life ; being open doesn't mean you are being honest. again you can be open and full of shit , or open and honest - 2 options here. being open is spreading your legs to someone but honesty is telling you which penis is going in.
if you guys think being open is being honest you probably don't own a company or you are not the savy type. cheating can also be regarded as having false intentions , example you are in love with someone else but you are in a relationship with your current GF , do you really love her ? or is it based on selfishness ? cheathing is common ... people even cheat to themselfs, they set goals but never achieve them. amen

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This logic is so flawed. Alright so I want to take a dump in my GF's purse (or insert random nasty thing). But before doing it, I go ask my girlfriend if it's ok and then tell gher that I could of done it without telling her. Therefore, that makes me a considerate bf and shows that I care so much about her? Heck no. I'm not saying she doesn't care about you either. I'm sure she does and you can answer that better then anyone.

The only thing this 'asking you' is showing is that she wants to have you rationalise this for her so that she doesn't feel bad about it.

You know she cares about you if she respects your " No I don't want you to do it".

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Love is a two way dream

The problem here is people trying to impose their beliefs on others.

I have lots of female friends, and I know from many many experiences, that girls are very sexual creatures and can and often do things with each other with no strings attached. They don't have to worry about the guy clinging on afterwards, and they can keep flirting with each other.

No one is going to convince me otherwise.

You guys who actually feel that another girl is "competition" to you, just don't get that there is a huge leap from 2 girls sleeping together and 2 girls dating. But the point is the original poster feels his girl is being honest, and was wondering if it's harmless. To blindly follow your advice would be one step closer to potentially strangling the relationship over something that can actually be harmless. You have no proof that girl & girl is a threat, and in my experience, it isn't.

Try to remember you can't make or force someone to love you by stopping them from doing things. The more you strangle a relationship the more you kill it.

Oh and the disease argument is stupid. Do you think she's a virgin? Once you slept with her you already put your faith in her judgement that she doesn't sleep with people with diseases.

sure but for some people it turned out to be a threat..... like i said your values determine your actions - your personal values determine your personal boundaries.
the guy asked our opinions so we gave our opinions, there's no such thing as imposing beliefs on others since he asked for our opinions, i think he should find out himself and take action.

you can't say that something is good or wrong unless you can travel through time, disease argument is not stupid since girls OFTEN do unsafe sex. it has nothing to do with disease but it has to do with the risk of infecting your partner which is totally selfish if you don't take it into consideration, it's not the STD to worry about but the mindset. this is very true in most cases and with the above in mind...well....girls have more different parters/sexual contacts than most men ( in general ).

this has nothing to do with advice or any in that matter , the guy can't decide what to do himself so he wants some suggestions. well a threesome is little bit interpersonal ..... and alot of relationships got killed by threesomes and interpersonal relationships and some don't. There's no way to know - only guidance by your own personal values . of course the guy agrees because he is turned on by a possible threesome. like i said open does not mean honest... and what you really want on short term is not always the best.

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Bro... it's not that I'm turned on by a possible 3some... I already did that with her! More than once. this is a completely different situation.

You seem to be seeking approval for your choice to allow her to have sex with another girl. I'm not implying that you're turning a blind eye to the opinions that go against the choice that you're portraying. Since it seems like your mind is made up, you should go with it and see what happens.

dunno if this has been asked already (cbf to read them all)
What if....

You let your lady explore her bisexuality, and fuck this other girl. Then what? Shes all happy then comes running back to you 100%?
What happens if this other girl pleased your misses in a way that you never could. I mean, having a few threesomes with you must've meant she enjoyed the other girls company.
What happens if she asks again to fuck another girl?

not telling you not to, just want to know your response to these questions.

@Lodewijkp - Well as long as it's all food for thought.
Having many female friends means they've told me about times they actually cheated with another guy - then came running back to their original guy, more passionately than before. It actually renewed her loyalties. So there's that to think about. That supports the "if you love something set it free" concept.

What kind of relationship is built around preventing someone from doing things? That's slavery. They should WANT to be with you.
That is AFC insecurity right there. That is the same thing that makes guys want to think their girlfriend is a virgin and not think about the fact they've slept with other guys. They see other people as threats.



The mentality you should have as a decent man, should keep all these thoughts at bay. There are individual qualities that make you YOU, and she won't find that in anyone else. If she decides she wants to be with someone else, then you two aren't working for each other (or she'll make a mistake and realise later) you can't force her to like you by preventing her from doing things. If you try, you are the typical aggressive jealous boyfriend.

Relationships are not built on slavery, they are built on trust. Imagine how much stronger your relationship would be if you have this trust in one another.

At the end of the day, it's not who your girl sees, but how she feels about you. A girl who wants to cheat on a guy will still want to if she's prevented from physically doing it, so that doesn't solve the problem does it?

I agree that part of how she sees you is where you draw the line, but in my opinion, you draw the line at careless behaviour. If she's being open and honest about something, I would give her a chance.

well alot of people are making valid points here , however my values and opinions concerning threesomes and letting girls sleep with other girls are not flexible.
personally this is a no-no for me , i think you should do what you think you should do.

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Seconded. It all depends on your view of sex. I know people, both males and females, who have "open" sexual relationships with many people while in a committed emotional relationship with one person. If you're ok with that type of thinking, fine. I'm not one to judge. Like others have said, follow your own values, and don't bend them even for someone you love

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I would be very concerned that she was going to meet a male/female couple, or some other scenario where there are men involved, and she is lying about it.

Young bi women have lots more kinky and group sex. Due to not wanting everyone to think they are a slut, they lie about it. They can have this kinky or group sex far easier on their own than the could with a boyfriend. Single bi sex freaks are in tremendous demand.

Thats what I would be worried about here. The OP could quickly get crowded out of her sex life and then the relationship is over.

If it was me, I would not consent to her having sex with anyone unless I was physically there. If she can't handle that, go get another girl because she will cheat on you for real one way or another.