I wish I wasn't such an egoist with high self-value.

As some of you might know, my girfriend is considered by me as a fuck-friend, but I like do be the only one allowed to fuck her (it feels god because she’s popular and very beautiful). However, she broke up with her ex-boyfriend two years ago, got together with me 1 year ago, but I know she has feelings for him still because I caught her chat logs (2 months ago or something). I talked to her about it and our conversation was similar to this...

Me: We need to talk. I know of your chat logs with "PUA."
Her: Er... Well... What's the problem? What do they say?
Me: They say that he wants to meet you and "take a bubblebath," that you want to see his penis on webcam (though that was right before we got together), that he wants to meet you, and other minor things. You didn't say "No, I have a boyfriend" rather some weak "yes"'s.
Her: How did you find them?
Me: That's not important. What's important is that we are over and done with.
Her: *Starts crying*... cries for 5 minutes while I pack my stuff.
Her: You know it's not like that. Please don't leave me. He can't be compared with you at all, you are ten times better. *Cries like a fucking child*. It's just that I don't want to lose him as a friend and you can honestly see that I didn't say YES to go bubblebath with him and the thing about the penis was just flirting, I admit it was too much but anyway, [fair enough, I do it myself, but self-value again lol] it doesn't mean anything.
Me: Why can't you say "I have a boyfriend" instead of playing with his games? I think it's best that we are over because I think you like him more than me. We have had a good time, you are a very good girl, we have shared cool experiences but now it's honestly over. Im off.
Her: NO. NO. NO. Don't leave me. *Cries more* I don't want him at all. I want you, only you. I can delete him from all communication material.
Me: No, I don't mind you being friends. You can talk to him as much as you want, but Im not going to be fucked with. Why don't you just go for him? It's obvious that he loves you:)
Her: *Cries* *Throws pillow at floor*. I DONT WANT HIM, I WANT MY BOYFRIEND.
Me: I've got to think about it...

Then I left, made the thread in this forum, and decided to stay with her. We had sex and I told her something similar to "Don't delete him from communication, keep him as a friend. He's a cool guy. But don't fuck with me, I'll leave next time." Then she was mushy all day long lol... I decided to do this because I use her as a sexual expriment and relationship development.

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1+- month later, I have one problem, and it is my self-value. I want to be the best, I don't want to be second-best. This happened today...

In the morning we fucked and I gave her vaginal- and clitorisorgasms. She was breathing heavily and told me to go shower while she had to lay there and relax after our intercourse. (She has earlier told me that I am the only one managing to give her orgasms, it sounds good but it doesn't help. Keep reading...sex doesn't mean everything). Then we ate and went of to school...

There we met her ex-boyfriend and some of his friends. I hate to say it, but he's the best Pick-Up-Artist I know of. He's DAMN good looking, has the biggest dick ever (seen him showering), know PUA stuff quite well which gives him awesome inner game. All the girls are after him in school, Im not kidding. The only girl he wants is my girlfriend, fuck (he also has a girlfriend, for him fuck-friend, like me). He knows how to talk and gets all the girls attention all the time. They didn't talk much today, but she was looking at him all the time (it bothers me). He's not looking at her at all, but all other girls (gaaaaming here, fuck). When she wasn't looking at him she tried to be mushy with me, but I played hard-to-get and didn't kiss her when she tried. I talked to other friends and ignored her. I think she noticed.

What more can I do? I give her orgasms(sex), being an awesome boyfriend (lots of variation in events and things we do), have awesome inner game (Passion in life, not being available all the time etc)? I don't want to leave the sexual relationship, but I don't want to be second best either. Fuck.

- Consistence

Haha, 10 mins ago she told "I am so happy with you. I am so happy that we MUST move in together after the summer. I am looking forward to it..." All I managed to do was smiling (thought of breaking-up lol).

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First of all you should have made it clear that she must cut all ties with her ex once she did that...My gf can talk to her ex's I dont really care but if she ever crossed a line then thats it!

I like how you stood up for your self thats good! but be cautious! Women make decisions based on emotions (they think more with the artistic and emotional part of the brain) and that what she has done in the past and that what she will do in the future.

Men think more with the logical part of the brain and are more liable to weigh our decisions based on the pro's and cons. In a nut shell what makes sens to men doesn not make sens to women...and what makes sens to women doesnt to men.

This is why it is so imprtant to understand how a women thinks! and how her emotions work! If not you will make logical decisions and she will cheat, leave you, or treat you like shit.

Example:

When a man thinks about cheating he goes through a long thought proccess and he usually weighs the the pros and cons of cheating.

Pro's of cheating: Shes hot


Con's of cheating: My gf migh break up with me
My gf is better looking
I live with my gf and if she finds out she will kick me out.

Decision = Dont do it because the con's out weigh the pro's (Its not worth it).



Womens thought process example:

She meets a man who makes her feel good, he makes gives her a "tingle" in her stomach and creates all kind of emotions that are "out of her control" (this is key because a women will do almost any thing if she really beleves it is out of her control and she can blame it on others)...She cheats at any point were her emotions are high and she has a reason to think it is out of her control.

This is were ex's can be dangerous! why? because it is easy to control a persons emotions when you can tap into the past. think about a time when you were a kid...a time when you were happy. How does that make you feel? prob really warm and good right? well now intensify that (because women think more with emotion) and add sexual tension...you now have the perfect environment for cheating...now all the she needs is a way to blame it on somthing other than her self (her ex bf) and she now is ready to cheat.

All an ex has to do is bring up the past, be a good sweet talking, and give her a reason to blame the cheating on him...and mabey even add some booze to the mix. BOOM she will cheat! and the next day she will tell you how much she loves you and truly beleve that it was not her fault and that she will never do it again. Remember when she told you she just wanted to "fit in" and be his friend well that was her way of blaming it on him and making her self feel better about the whole situation even though she knew in the back of her mind when she did it that it was wrong.

I trust my gf 99.9% of the time but Im not stupid...Im a pua and I know how women think. You have to be smart! Let me ask you somthing? how much did you trust your gf before you found out she cheated? I bet you wouldnt have thought she would do that to you?

If your gf is only your FWB, you should really make sure she knows that and is cool with it. If you're stringing her along while pretending it's a real relationship, it's extremely cruel and you're giving the rest of us decent guys a bad name.

Yep !! Inner game, your all about the high value etc etc but your putting the other guy on a pedestal saying how great he is and how you dont wanna be second best ?

Your better than him, why cant you accept it, instead of looking for reasons why he is so good etc etc etc etc = insecure, your saying stuff to your gf representing that your inner game is tight and that your cool with it and just mr pua but in reality its eating and ripping you apart inside.

You cant act it, its gotta be inner and outer.

Dude that is a tough spot to be in. But good job for getting control back at the end of your conversation I learned the huge importance the other day of the willingness to walk. Here is an excerpt from a conversation I had with my girl. She was being a total bitch during this conversation keep in mind:

Her: Maybe we should break up. I can't even stand to be with you right now

Me: I think that is a great idea. The way you are acting is really rude.

Her: So you wont even fight to keep me? Wow, I can tell I really mean a lot to you

Me: I love you very much, but you expect me to fight to keep dealing with this bullshit?

A little while later she calmed down and she apologized. But the thing to take away is the willingness to walk if they act stupid.

Good luck

Wow, inner game is this years neg.
A cool word to say and it always works...

Sorry but I join in, yes you need inner game.

But I wanna go more specific. You need to think of your girlfriend (or FB) as more than just a piece in your boardgame. She is a person. If she is in love with you you have no right toying with her emotions. Yes, I am a PUA and I do bad stuff but there is such a thing as love and if someone loves you you should treat them a bit better.

You are afraid of losing her to some guy. But you are also ready to break up. That means that its fine for you as long as it is on your terms. You wont miss her, just someone. Are you with her because she is important or because you feel like the man?

You seem proud of how you manage to freeze her out, you describe it like you are cold heartless and a genuine player. I dont think that is such a good thing really. Sure you can play with girls, you can lie and you can cheat, it has been done before and will be done again but the length you go to when you freeze her out is more torture than anything else. She chose you, you won. You got what you wanted, why do you keep freezing her out. Too much and you will push herr away. It is not something you can max out, you need to balance it man.

Not saying this because I wanna tell you that you are a bad person but frankly it is because I read your post and I see myself. As I was a while ago, and I am very happy that I am not that guy anymore!

Ezo

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I'm not trying to be a dick Ezo, but you're being a Pick Up Snob in my opinion.

bbardot: you just reminded me about porn

"You don't have the willingness to walk away. She probably doesn't think you do either. I would call it playing emotional games with her. But you both know your not going anywhere."

I thought that if a woman gives you shit, you have to show a willingness to walk away in order for her to shape up? like acting indifferent. When she acts like a bitch, I don't want to yell at her and treat her like shit in return. I just wanted to calmly let her know that if she acts that way, I will leave.

I was just trying to figure out a way to extinct her bad behavior calmly. I really don't try to play games with her. I just want her to know what behavior is acceptable and what is not.

I guess my relationship can be a little dysfunctional at times. I am just trying to experiment with some ways of nicely handling her when she gets bad. I apologize if it seems like I am playing games with her.

If you cannot take her as she is you should take someone else.

You have no right to change her just to make her fit with you.

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I'm not trying to be a dick Ezo, but you're being a Pick Up Snob in my opinion.

bbardot: you just reminded me about porn

That's all fair play but...
You're talking about her as if she's a dog or a child you really really hate. Also, from where I'm standing, it's not a case of "it seems" you are playing games with her; you simply are. At least be honest with yourself in the process. It may help you out in the long run.

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"If you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." - Marilyn Monroe.

I just want to clarify a couple of things:

I don't threaten that I am going to leave her. She suggests things like "maybe we should break up" or "I can't stand to be with you right now". She does this when she is in one of her moods. When she says these things, I can't just act like I am totally devastated and that I desparately need her to stay. I want to try to let her know that I am not cool with her acting like this, but I still love her. Believe me, I hate when she says stupid things like that. She tells me she has some issues and she just can't control herself sometimes. Since I am not a therapist, I need some ways to handle her when she gets out of line. I apologize if it seems like I am playing games with her, but the truth is she acts really bizzare and I don't know how to handle her some times.

I really love my girl. She means the world to me. She just has some issues that cause her to act really childish sometimes. When she was a child she used to act violent towards her parents and siblings. The last time the two of us dated, she physically abused me and acted very controling. She got counseling for her
behavior last time, but I can tell there are still some lingering issues. That is why I wish she would go to counseling, but she is hesitant to go again.

sorry for rambling

If she says "mabey we should brak up" than agree with her...she wont expect it and why the hell should you be with somone if they arnt 100% into the relationship? if she says that then break it off and walk away...9/10 times she will come crawling back to you.

No offence dude but you are very acf...unless you listen and start thinking with your head you will get hurt in the end. stop thinking with your feelings and think with your head!

If she says "mabey we should brak up" than agree with her...she wont expect it and why the hell should you be with somone if they arnt 100% into the relationship? if she says that then break it off and walk away...9/10 times she will come crawling back to you.

No offence dude but you are very acf...unless you listen and start thinking with your head you will get hurt in the end. stop thinking with your feelings and think with your head!

When my girl suggests that she wants to break up or something similar to that, she tells me she does it to see how I react. When I go along with her suggestion she gets mad because she thinks I don't care for her. She likes to give me a lot of tests to see how much I care for her.

I love her very much, but she has some issues. To this point she has been faithful and she seems to care about me. She told me her issues came from when she was a child. I know that I can't change her, instead I just want to find ways to deal with her when she acts up.

"No offence dude but you are very acf...unless you listen and start thinking with your head you will get hurt in the end. stop thinking with your feelings and think with your head!"

I know that my girl can be a bitch, but she also has a very good side too. To be honest I used to be extremely AFC. That is why I study game principles so I can apply it to my relationship with her. I consider myself to be a work in process. I definetly want to avoid gettin hurt though. Breakups are very tough to go through. Thanks for the advice

Listen man...you need to stop thinking "oh but she has a good side" you sound like the house wife that says "he beat me but I prob deserve it any way" lol

You dont deserve to be a door mat, you shouldnt allow games like her telling you she want to break up....her problems are not yours and you need to make that clear! what you should have put up with her shit because she says so? its an excuse!

Let me tell you a littler story and how I solved the probem. My gf has had shitty bf's in the past, all her ex's trated her poorly and cheated on her and her dad also cheated on her mom and then left her mom for some younger women...so my gf would always question my fidelity, she would freak out at at me all the time ect ect...one day when I was on the verge of breaking up with her because she was acting crazy! she said to me "its not my fault! all my ex's cheat ect ect ect..." and my reply was..."Im sorry that happend to you but I dont deserve to be punished for what your ex's did and I wont stick around if you continue to act this way". I then made it clear that it wont continue.

she never did it again.