Hey guys, I came here about 2 months ago asking for advice to close a 9 (which we will call Kimberly) that I had been flirting with for a while.
The good news is that i've been in a relationship with here for about a month 1/2, the bad is that there is another girl in the equation, "the one".

This woman dated my best friend for 9 months, however, he claimed that he was never in love with her and often during there relationship he would tell me that he wanted to end it because he didn't have any feelings.
On the other hand, I was spending time with her and we were getting to know each other. We had lots of stuff in common and often when we would lock eyes for a moment I could feel that spark.

Six months ago they finally decided to part ways, and though I still would see her from time to time and really get along, I had no intention on making a move on her because she was my bro's ex.

One night I saw her in a bar about a month ago and she was just coming back from a trip, for the first time she told me "Hey, we should hang out together this week", however, several minutes later she discovered/saw that I was with Kimberly and told me "We're both single then I leave for a week and you have a girlfriend! I really need to get a boyfriend!", She then came up and told me "It might not be a good idea to hang out then I guess?", I said it was fine and she told me "Okay then, as friends".
This obviously triggered some questions in me.

A week later she would text me to ask what plans I had for the weekend or stuff like that. She even organized a BBQ and when I was joking that she didn't invite me she said:"Well, you were the #1 person I was going to invite and the reason for the BBQ". I'd always act as if I was pretty busy, but each time I saw her she would be a little weird around me, different than she was when I was single.

Each time she sees me, she asks how things are going with Kimberly. And recently, I told her that it wasn't going so well on my side and that I might want to end it but didn't know how, she told me "well its easy bla bla bla".

So all of this is giving me mixed signals about this girl. Why is she acting so distant/weird around me. I usually don't have a hard time reading girls and seeing if they are into me or not, but this is different. I can't figure out if i'm in the friend zone or not?

Thanks everyone for support and comments!

bump

It's a tricky one man.

Without more information it's a tough call.

As I see it, could be ;

a/ This chick is really into you, has got to know you and wants to have a LTR with you.

or

b/ A bit of pre-selection at work here. She can't have you therefore she wants you even more.


Lets say you end it with your current girl.

Would you want to go straight into another relationship?

and if yes the girl's reaction would vary depending on whether it's a or b

a- You'd get together.
b- She'd back off and put you in the LJBF zone.

Thanks for the advice Scamp, she texted me today asking if I had plans for tonight. I haven't responded.

From what I know she wants to get in a LTR, but I still need to understand if she wants it with me or not.

Its tricky situation no doubt, but it makes it even funner!

Lol, tbh it's a great situation to be in.

Women falling over themselves to get at you!

Recent update, if anyone can help me out with this:

I tried to do my usual stuff I do on girls, but this one just doesn't bite. One night I saw her in a bar, and she said we should definitely get together sometime that week, so when I left I told her:"I'll be waiting for your call tomorrow". BOOM, she never called, see her one week later and she tells me "Women aren't supposed to call men, Men are".
Then a couple of days later she texted me asking how I was going and what I was doing that night. I didn't answer her. And 24hours later I told her I forgot to answer because I completly forgot. So I asked her how she was but: NO RESPONSE.

She's a shy "old-school" girl and seems hard to get. She only gets in real relationships with men and doesn't do one night stands (even just kissing), but i'm ready to commit with this woman.

So I broke up with Kimberley, and the other day Anna (the other woman I mentioned above) texted me and ask how things where going with her. I explained that it was over.
She then didn't answer my text so I thought I would send her another one and change the subject. After which she answered immediately and never asked about Kimberley again.

2 days later a friend of mine (who is dating her little sister), went to her house and Anna was there and the 3 of them talked. Apparently Anna was asking how I was and if I was studying well. My mate then told her that he was meeting me later that night for some drinks. Apparently she spontaneosly said:"Oh! Well tell me what and I might me you guys later"

So later that night he texted her that he was with me at the bar and that she should come if she wanted to. She replied:"I'm tired so i'm not sure i'll go out."
Then 4 seconds later she sent him a 2nd text:"Give CW a big kiss from me!".

Yesterday, I thought it would be a good idea to go over to her house. So, I texted her this:

Me: "Hey Anna hows it going?"
Anna: "Ahhh i'm doing good haven't done much this weekend though Your friend is at my house chatting up my sister in the backyard How are you?"

Whats with the "Ahhh" btw? Was she expecting a text or something?

Me: "Seriously? haha what an idiot! I'm good, i'm at a friends house to pick up some papers, he isn't living far from your place and since i'm sure your dyyyyyiiinng to see me I would have offered to come over but apparently you have company so... "
Anna:"Ahah no no come over but not too too long because I still need to work "

When I got there we chatted together about various topics, she complimented me on my tan. And a couple of points stood out:

1-She asked how it ended with Kimberley, and if she was still contacting me
2-We kept eye contact at all times, smiling
3-She turned red when her 7 year old sister came over and made some allusions about us being together.
4-She touched her hair, copied some of the gestures I was doing.

In all we had a really good time, when I left I gave her a peck on the cheek (common in my country) and she touched my arm when doing that. She then walked with me to my car but her sister and my friend were in the garden checking us out so I didn't really know what to do, if I should have gave her another peck on the cheek or what...?

Today she didn't text me or contact me or anything, she's the kind of girl who doesn't really use social media such as facebook, etc and rarely use's her phone. She's also kind of old-school (boys call the women, not the contrary, etc) but I was still expecting a nice text or whatever, so I felt kind of depressed.

Until I saw her on IM and thought I should engage the conversation:

Me: Hey
Anna: hiiii how are you?
Me: Pretty good and you?
Anna: yeah im good, didn't study much today how bout you?
Me: I was pretty happy with how much I studied, kind of burndowned at the end of the day though! I was happy to see you yesterday! Was a good break in my studying!
Anna: Aha me to it made me really happy

Then we chatted a bit more for awhile.


So what do you guys think, am I in the friend-zone? Or do I have a legit shot?

Well it seems like the bullshit is out of the the way now...If it were me, Id escalate next time I saw and go for the K-Close for sure. Let her know that you want to be more then friends and that shes pretty much the reason you broke up with the other girl. I can only see more games or tactics hurting you at this point. Just go direct.

Yeah you have a shot.

All the signs are good

She's interested (I think).

Take it easy though, don't rush if you want an LTR.

She's aware that you may be a bit "reboundy" (not a proper word I know) and doesn't want to turn into your comfort girl.

I'm guessing you need a bit of validation after breaking up with your gf and so are looking for texts where perhaps they aren't neccessary.

In short

Don't overthink it.
If you want to call this girl call her.
Sounds like you guys can really communicate, so just talk stuff through with her
Chill



Scamps

Hey thx for the advice guys! If anyone has any other advice it would be well needed!

She hasn't contacted me since my last post (will be almost a week tomorrow) and I promised myself not to do so. Should I text her?
I know she's been studying pretty hard all day for her exams but is it a reason to not text me and ask me how I am?
I remember about 2 weeks ago I didn't text her for a week, then finally did and she said "hey its been a while!", I was like "wtf you can text me too!".

I think this one is going is heading in the fail-zone... My idea is to call her probably Thursday or something like that and ask her out Saturday, I'm not afraid that she won't agree, but I was hoping to get some validation from her somehow. Seems like she wasn't as distant when I was in a relationship...

Ugh I was fed up with all the BS and waiting and whatever so I inniated contact today:

Me: ZERO messages this weekend to motivate me to work! Girl you are losing points!

Her: Hey CW !! Sorry I didn't text you i worked all weekend! Besides that how are you? When is your first exam?

Me:Im good and also worked a lot this weekend! Im starting Saturday! How about you? How are you?

Her: Yeah im good besides from the fact that I can't stand working already.. I'm only starting the 10th.. As a matter of act when are you over with your exams?

Me: Im finishing the 24th and believe me i'm waiting for that night desperately to celebrate in the worst of ways!

Her: Ahah yeah but we will party before also right !!

Me: Impossible i'll be working... You'll just have to find a way to be there on the 24th!


after that she didn't answer. Please help

I took the time to read all your posts and to me it seems like youre the one playing these idiotic games like not texting her back. Waiting for her to text you...and at one point you didnt answer her for a day? What the hell was the reason for that...

This girl obviously liked you in the beginning but now it seems like she thinks youre a game player and thats the worst way a girl can think of you. Stop doing this stupid crap of texting her but not following up, just go hang out with her the next time you can and fucking kiss her already. Hopefully she still likes you by the time that happens.

For future reference, stop playing games. If you can smell that a girl is playing games with you, dont play back. You're better than that, you're a man. I keep trying to emphasize this in every post. Youre a man, not a chick. Stop playing chick games.

_________________
"...so it goes"

Thanks for the advice.. Its one of the first times I really have feelings for a girl so I don't want to fudge it up and be a wuss and scare her away.. Thats why i'm acting like that.

I'm thinking of asking her out for drinks then actually just go chill in a parc with some drinks and watch the sunset or something.