Ok, here's my story: I've been hanging out with this HB 8 for a month now. A LOT of daily contact (phone, internet etc.) and a couple of dates. No traditional dates though: no, just relaxing at my place, making out etc.

I know some of her secrets, she knows mine... she tells me she's really comfortable and got "some feelings", but she does want space. She's afraid that we're getting serious and that I want a relationship.

Although this may be what I want (yeah some kind of one-itis, I know...), I told her I got no expectations. She says: great, because I don't want to disappoint you in the end. My response: haha, believe me, you can't disappoint me.

I know her sexual problems and that's why it's very hard to escalate, so nothing really sexually happened. She said she will be very busy in the next couple of days and we probably won't see each other for 2 weeks. But I know we'll keep on texting and stuff... What should I do? Just respond and play along with her? Or freeze out a bit and make her miss me? After all the things she confessed to me, I don't think this would be very fair, but I don't want her to be in charge and decide when we see each other. Suggestions please.

Oh, and she told me she's meeting an old lover soon, but she says she's got no feelings anymore and it's just a "see how he's doing-date".

she fucking her ex dude trust me from experience 9 out 10 times when i meet an ex we hook up and to be fair we dont have any feelings for each other its just a comfort and for the fun of it type of thing

basically im going to tell you what i would do i wouldnt really care that much about one girl because theres so many more out there and its great fun meeting them and getting to know them and building a connection with them

so my first bit of advice is go out more meet more new women by doing this you will lose the neediness that you must be displaying on some level even if your not aware of it your girl is also by doing this it will allow you to build a jelously plot and women get extremly jelous when guys there sleeping with are getting attention from other chicks and her competive nature will kick in and she will realise your not her bitch who she can take out the box to play with whenever she feels like it and that there a serious chance she might lose you to the competion might make her jump at LTR with you because she dosent want to lose to other women and she dosent want to share either we humans are really selfish when it comes down to it

number 2
dont play along with it shes in control of that situation you should be in control

But won't reducing contact (text messages/calls) lead to less attraction, because she might think our "thing" is cooling off?

nah its most likely the amount of contact you guys are having is what is killing the attraction in the first place having to text and be in contact constantly displays neediness

Ok, update: she keeps texting everyday, she even called me today (just to see how I was doing). When I said: we should see each other soon, she said she's really busy at the moment and wants to meet in 2 weeks if that's ok with me. I said: sure, I'm pretty busy next week as well.
Then she said she wanted to do something different than we did on the last 2 dates (just making out all night long). She suggested dinner or a movie. Is she putting me in the friend-zone? Or is she still interested, but needs some time, because it goes too fast? What do you recommend?

Your opinions please. Thanks.

my personal opinion of what i read is that she still likes you but wants not to rush into sex so fast. So yeah she's taking it slower, so be sure to let her know that you want to be with her and will stay with her. Once this is stated she won't have a LMR.

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Sounds like she's putting you more in the 'potential relationship' zone actually. I definitely don't ask my male friends to a dinner or movie alone.

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"If you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." - Marilyn Monroe.

Yeah I thought about that as well. But I think it's strange... Because if you really like somebody/are infatuated by someone you wanna see him/her as soon as possible... But she's keeping distance... I guess it's just her insecurity.

Not necessarily. I've really liked guys before but it didn't mean I was crushing on them like a schoolgirl and wanting to see them ASAP. She's said she's got other stuff on, and maybe she wants that slight distance to think about how she wants your relationship to progress, if at all.

Though yeah, could be insecurities too. Either way, just take this as a good opportunity to show yourself as boyfriend material, and stop worrying about how you got it!

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"If you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." - Marilyn Monroe.

I always thought showing yourself as boyfriend material is more likely to get you into the LJBF-zone?

And another update: I've analyzed my game on this girl in detail (also with other PUA's like Rafiel) and actually came to the conclusion I didn't do anything really wrong. Maybe I was a bit too available, maybe I gave her too much in the beginning, but if you really like someone (from her perspective), this wouldn't really matter I think.

She talked about her new job and her new boss a bit (which pissed me off but I didn't show haha) and I thought comments like "he (= the boss) teases me all the time, it's not funny hihi" were just shit tests. Ignored those of course.

Now, after another "date" we had, things were a bit strange (she didn't really kiss me) and the next day she told me she was not in love and is not gonna fall in love. I responded like "well, that's cool, I'm not in love either, so nothing changes about the situation". I decided to freeze her out for 3 weeks (no contact at all). Result?

She's now dating her boss. Hahaha! All the crappy things like "I'm not ready for a relationship", all her so-called insecurities => BULLSHIT. If she can bang her boss, she will. And she does. That's life. In her point of view he got more status. He's attractive (no homo, but I know him), teasing (natural) and they share the same passion (their job). Well, nothing to do about it. Sometimes you just have to take your loss, accept it and move on. I did the best I could, invested way too much time and learned from it. I will never initiate contact again. But one day we'll meet, their relationship will be fucked up and she realizes what she could have got. And then all I do is smile. Smile baby, smile! And if not: I hope she's happy. Cuz I am. And will be. Life's goooooooooood!

I say, chill man.

The concept of a freezeout is not just to make her miss you and shit. Thats just what people say to sound technical. The best part of the freezeout is that you give her the space she needs. You hand over the initiative, the ball is in her court now.

So I say, let her take her time and then when she is ready to see you again, let her!

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I'm not trying to be a dick Ezo, but you're being a Pick Up Snob in my opinion.

bbardot: you just reminded me about porn