Is monogamy just reciprocated one-itis?



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PostPosted: Sat May 08, 2010 12:34 am 
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I was thinking this the other day. Had a really good sarge the other week and wanted it to continue into the next days. I wanted to game a cute librarian I've always liked the look of but the thought of success stopped me in my tracks, as I'm kinda seeing a girl at the mo.
Got me thinking, if you are going out with a girl, or married, is this not just one-itis? Why is it any better when the girl happens to have one-itis for you?


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PostPosted: Sat May 08, 2010 1:21 am 
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No, there is a monumental difference between a mutually beneficial monogamous relationship and oneitis (whether it's mutual or otherwise).

Oneitis develops because a person either is unaware that there are multiple quality women in the world or is unable to get with them, so he clings to the idea of being with one once he finally finds somebody he likes who will give him the time of day.

Do some relationships form based on that premise? Of course, but not the quality ones--i.e., not the ones a man skilled with the ladies should be looking to start.

Case in point: my fiance and I could realistically pick up any member of the opposite sex any time we want to (and have, on multiple occasions). We know there are options in the world but we also know we are the best option for each other. In other words, we have an abundance mentality combined with the experience to know when we've found something really great and the tenacity and dedication to stick with it.

Some people get in relationships because they don't know any better. This is stupid.

Some people get in relationships because they think they're supposed to. Also stupid.

Some people think they don't have any options. Again, dumb.

But there are relationships that are founded in mutual attraction above and beyond a childish obsession, and those are the kind someone knowledgeable about social dynamics who wishes to settle down should be looking to create.

Your boy,
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