Is fighting a part of being in a relationship



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PostPosted: Thu Apr 08, 2010 4:59 am 
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I found out in all my semi serious relationships that i tend to get in fights from time to time, and i was wondering is that normal?


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 08, 2010 9:51 am 
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depends how serious they are!!

If you spend ALOT (almost all) your time with your gf then you can get in little disagreements but thats natural!! how boring would a relationship be if you were just all happy rainbows n shit, you would never be able to deal with problems when they arise!

I think its healthy but obviously not when it lasts days or weeks or theres physical harm!


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 08, 2010 3:01 pm 
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Some of the best advice I have ever received was "Your nor in a real relationship until you get in your first big fight". I found it to be very true!

My girlfriend and I got in alot of big arguments in the first year...almost broke up a couple times...but it made our relationship stronger and we learned alot about each other! We dont get into many big fights any more but we do have small arguments from time to time.

Its all about communication! and both sides need to learn to listen and think about what the other person is saying. For example when she says:

"You always flirt with other women"

Rather than you saying "No I dont! You always bitch at me!" say somthing like "Im sorry if you think Im flirting how does it make you feel?" and then listen to how it makes her feel...then tell her you will work on your self so that it doenst bother her any more.

Now she also has to understand that she has to listen to you as well and work on her self...but if the both of you can do this your relationship will become stronger and you will see the fighting will start to die down.


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 08, 2010 10:58 pm 
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diagreements are normal ofcourse, though personally i try not to bother with any heated conflict, wastes too much energy


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 Post subject: Yes its normal
PostPosted: Wed Apr 14, 2010 2:13 am 
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In a relationship you arue to learn eachothers boundaries and limits. If its petty and stupid just agree with her unless you can physically show her ur right. Or tell her "ill respect ur beliefs but let me have mine" always say these things firmly and confidently and most of all, NEVER LOSE YOUR COOL OVER SOMETHING UNIMPORTANT. Use every arguement big or small to learn something about eachother and tell her that after every arguement. Tell her " now i kno how you feel about this" or "now i know your boundaries on the subject" something to make her feel like it wasnt just a waste of time. HOPE THIS HELPS

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PostPosted: Fri Apr 16, 2010 7:09 pm 
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Yeah, I assure you that fights are an essential part of any good relationship.

But always try not to leave angry, try to resolve. I always try to resolve arguments as soon as possible.


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PostPosted: Mon May 03, 2010 7:22 am 
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I'd say it's either the person you're attracted to doesn't change or you may have anger management issues. I had a relationship for 3 years where we fought all the time. It sucked. I've had others where we didn't hardly fight at all, but they didn't last more than 4 months. If it's a pattern, there may be something deeper at play.


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