Monogamy - against nature?



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PostPosted: Wed Apr 28, 2010 4:27 pm 
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I have seen numerous of threads regarding the subject; monogamy and cheating. From your experiences, my experience and the society in general it seems like those two words connect like cheeze on pizza. It's not the exception anymore, but rather the "rule." Troughout my period as a PUA I have got the impression from the majority of people (in here) that it is better to have many fuck-friends (girlfriends) rather than go monogamy.

I am only 20 years old now, but in the future one of my goals is to create a family and have kids. I believe it's the same for the lot of you, right? And I'd like my relationship to not involve cheating, obviously. My theory of the subject is this... I want you to say your opinion after reading my theory :)

I believe monogamous relationships are much more risky when it comes to cheating, if they are created around the age of 16-25. Therefore, my advice would be to not admire your girlfriend(s) too much being this young, but rather enjoy the time. But when you have finished the time of partying every weekend and become older it's time to find a woman you can spend the rest of your life with, and now it's less likely for cheating to happen!

What you think?

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PostPosted: Thu Apr 29, 2010 3:12 am 
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No actually I agree. I believe, the younger you are, experimentation and learning take a higher priority over trying to create a stable relationship.


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 29, 2010 3:37 am 
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I'm going to play Devil's advocate here.

The older you are and the longer you've been in a committed relationship, the greater likelihood of things getting dull, and thus, greater chance to commit adultery to put that "spark" back in your libido.


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 29, 2010 3:18 pm 
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Yes, and I believe to counter-act that, you have to make those kinds of mistakes early on, so by the time you are ready to enter a committed, relationship, you know what it means to stick with someone and grow with them and become strong with them, and won't be tempted to cheat because you know what lays down that path.


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 30, 2010 4:52 am 
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I agree, sleep around when you are young. And commit l8r on.


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 30, 2010 2:53 pm 
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Its tough man...Im 23 and when I was 20 I thought the same way until a year and a half ago when I met my current gf.

I have never one cheated on her but I have had many chances! I have thought about it but I know if i did it would more than likley end our relationship if she found out. The cons outweigh the pros so I just never have.

Its a hard pill to swallow when your 23, good looking, and have the tools and abilties to pick up almost any women you want....yet you cant use them because you are in a serious relationship.

Somtimes I think is it worth is? will I regret it some day? I love my gf to death! but I have the chance to hook up with beautiful women were ever I go...I wish I knew the answere! lol


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PostPosted: Mon May 10, 2010 7:32 am 
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I am an older guy and this pua stuff was not public knowlege when I was younger but I wish it had been. I had to learn some painfull lessons, walk up hill both ways, etc. :)

Here is an old quote that is totally and completely true "Youth is wasted on the young". What that means is that when you get older, you look back and you see all of the shit you could have done if you had not been in such a hurry to be a grown up. You also see all misconceptions and wishfull thinking you had.

Cheating and Age: Cheating is more about the psychology of the people involved and the amount of opportunity to cheat. Young good looking girls have unlimited opportunity and are not psychologically prepared for a real relationship. Many of them will enter a relationship but it it is because they are supposed to or because they are insecure or they want a baby etc......not because they are really good relationship material.

As a general rule, do not expect any relationship to last more than a couple of years, or be completely monogamous, if either person is under 25. This is even if you have a child or get married. In the old days culture and religion helped hold these relationships together, but that doesn't mean they were happy or that no cheating went on. Bottom line, under 25, work on yourself and get experiences. I wish I had.

Having said that, older people cheat also, but if two psychologically healthy people are compatible and have a common desire to stick together they probably will. If the couple is older there is a better chance that they both know what they want and have held out for a good match and found one. Those are the happy couples you read about that have been together for 30 years. They are rare, but the do exist. There is a very high divorce rate, but in my opinion most people who get divorced should not have ever gotten married.


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PostPosted: Mon May 10, 2010 9:13 pm 
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I somewhat disagree on the age range you established.
But it all depends on the person, there are persons that are very mature by the age of 18. And know what they want. Education, and family has a lot to do..
Now a days, people are getting into relationships younger, now you see 13 year old kids in a relationship... they don't last, but if they keep the pace, of dating since 13, by the time they reach 20, that's a lot of experience, savoring and tasting all the different types of people. By this time you're in college ... supposedly, college is the most dangerous stage for a LTR, frat parties, alcohol, etc... etc.. etc...
Cheating comes alongside with immaturity... and you can say whatever you want "I was drunk" "He/She was irresistible" "I was mad at my couple"
But I see cheating as a sign of immaturity and weakness in the relationship... age matters but its not a key factor. Its more of... experience.. if a girl gets her first boyfriend and her first kiss by the age of 20 .. thats when her experience began, and her relationship will not last, because she needs to taste all the different flavors before choosing a favorite.
In my opinion ... the "risky" age is the college age... 18 to 21 ...


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PostPosted: Tue May 11, 2010 12:59 am 
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I am 23 and my boyfriend is 30 - we have been together 2 years and I love him to pieces. I don't even look at other guys. I know i could have them - when I go out partying, I get hit on all the time but they look like losers in comparison to my amazing man. I would marry him tomorrow if he asked me with no regrets. I know he feels the same.

I guess it really depends on the person and the relationship the two of them have. If two people have a relationship purely based on physical chemistry and passion, that will fade over time and they might be inclined to cheat just to get the passion back. My boyfriend is my best friend and my lover. We talk about anything and everything and he is the first one I turn to when things happen in my life or I need a shoulder to cry on or someone to laugh with. Obviously I am severely physically attracted to him as well but this definitely is not the only reason I am with him.

Someone once told me for a great relationship, you need an emotional connection, a physical connection and a shared admiration and trust of each other. If you have at least two of these things, you have a great relationship. But if you have all three, you don't have to die before you go to Heaven. I am in Heaven.


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