Friday afternoon I got off of work at 4:30 and went to a popular spot in my neighborhood, (indoor bar, outdoor patio with all the windows opened and a cool, 75 degree breeze) to grab a beer before heading home, and with the mindset that if anything presented itself, I'd go from there.

This girl sits down, decently attractive, probably a 7.8, with two stools between us. (the bar is EMPTY)

"How's it going?" I said, looking over and smiling.

She smiled back, without saying anything.

A couple minutes went by, and I asked,

ME: "So you got off of work early too?"
HER: "Yeah"
ME: "I love friday afternoons like this, chilling, grabbing a couple beers, and just hanging out."
HER: "What do you do"?

I told her, she told me what she does, and how she doesn't like it. During all of this we were being distracted by bar staff trying to figure out which beers were connected to which taps, they had some mixed up.

"I'm sorry, did you say you don't like it."

HER: "No, I mean the money's good, but it's not the kind of thing I'd like to do forever."

ME: "What would you do, if you had a choice?"

HER: "I'd start up an arts and crafts store out in Charlottesville."

ME: "You know, I talked to some girl the other day who told me her dream was to run an organic farm out in the country....I guess you gotta go with your dreams."

ME: "Do you think our system really sets us up to not go after the stuff we'd really love to do?" She said yeah.

ME: "Yeah 'cause I mean, that's where the money is."

At some point she had said, "What?" because she couldn't hear me, so I scooted over so there was one seat between us and said, "I don't like yelling across a bar."

I asked her if she was meeting someone here, she said, yeah, her girlfriend (and told me her name).

Girl 2 arrives shortly thereafter. As girl 2 ir ordering her drink, I said, "You must be "Erin." She said, "No, Erica." I was like, "Oh, I always get those 2 names mixed up. I've already heard alot about you."

The three of us talked about random nothingness while we watched the bar people still trying to fix the taps.

One observation. This girl tried the Sam Adam's Summer Ale, and I asked how it tasted. She siad, "A little nutty." "Did you say nutty to describe a beer?" I asked, "Her friend said to girl 2, "What did he say?"

Eventually, they closed out their tabs to go sit on the outdoor patio with their beers, they said, "We'll see you later." to the bartender. Girl 2 tapped me as she walked behind me saying, "I'll see you later too."

So I spend another 20 minutes in the bar by myself, I asked for a second beer. Maybe an hour's gone by. I was like, "Well, if I'm gonna act through my own intentions and go after these girls, I'm not gonna see them again by hanging out here."

So I stepped out on the patio, all casually, and said to the now tabled 2-set, "Man, it's a meat-locker in there (A/C), it's so nice out here. And before I asked "Do you girls mind if I join you?" girl one had already pulled her purse closer to herself, as if to make room for me, anticipating that I'd sit down.

We talk about the same kind of random stuff and eventually one of the girls waves to another girl out one of the big windows, who's on the street, she knows her. Girl 3 comes in and joins us, later about 4 dudes show up, but had to leave like a few minutes later, so that was cool. We all talked about random nothingness while they were all together, I was introduced to lots of their friends.

When everybody else leaves and I'm left with the 3-set, it gets quiet, none of the girls say anything. I didn't wanna go inside my head to find something else to say to spark more of a conversation, but ended up ordering a Johnny Walker on the Rocks, and a shot of jager, shortly thereafter. They're continuing to drink water.

The girls are going to the bathroom in alternating sets, not 3's, but 2's, leaving one behind to talk to me.

I told girl 2 who was thinking about moving to DC that I was suprised she hadn't seen the Arlington Rap. So I showed it to her on my iphone, I was sitting next to her, and we were pretty close.

The two friends get back and she moved a seat away and says, "I'll have to check that out."

Eventually, girl 1 says, "You've been really fun but."

and I said, "Let me guess, you'd like to ask me to leave." She said yeah.

I said "Why?"

She said, "Because your references are offensive."

Girl 2 said, "We're kinda tryin to have a girl's night out." So I said, "Yeah I kinda got the feeling that's what you girls where up to tonight. Ok, I'm, gonna finish this. I finish my ice water, get up and say, "Alright, you girl's've been great. Seeya." And walk out.

WTF happened??!!!? I know it probably wasn't that they wanted to do a girls night out b/c when the other dudes were there, one of them said something about a party, and one of the girls said yeah we might check that out.

Anyway, this is the most progress I've made with girls in like 6 months. This is as far as I've gotten.

Is there any feedback anyone can provide?

Fair play for approaching mate, I know it's bloody difficult.

If I'm being honest and I reckon it's best to be honest on here, that's how we all learn.
I reckon you came across as pretty needy dude. I obviously don't know you or the exact circumstances, but this is why we give time contraints when we approach sets becuase they hate to think they are going to be stuck with us all night (even if they enjoy our company).

What sort of stuff did you talk about?

Were you animated?

Did they get into your conversation or did it seem that they were just being polite?

lots of rapport(break it time to time) no sexual communication , otherwise apart from that i would say you did pretty good .

I dont know why you waited few minutes to re-engage her after she didnt answer you.

I like how you just rolled into your routine stack without her permission.

You just threw it out there and told her that you love afternoons...

You told her what you like opposed to asking her what does she like first.

Great vibe Poodogr.

Lol,I had to laugh when you said to girl 2 that you always get Erin & Erica mixed up(lol)!

Great how you just assumed everything rather than as like a pussy.

1 thing I'd have done differently.

When she didnt really hear what you said,rather than move closer,I'd have suggested moving to the patio by saying it's too loud in here. Essentilly moving the target.

But it's still cool to have sat closer.

The thing that killed you though Poodogr was the random topics!

You spoke about too much random shit-which is cool.
But make sure it's interesting random topics.

What a fucking bummer!!!

Another thing,I dont think you even selected a target.

The set didnt know whom you wanted after all.

I dont even know which HB you wanted(lol).

If you'd eventually zero'd in on a specific girl,you could've isolated her from the set to another table.

If you had no intention of gaming any of them,different story.

Another thing:you stayed in set too damn long-period!

You should've bounced way earlier rather than stay,which sub-communicated to the set that you have no life.

Another thing,you should've rolled off few times(I think you did to get drink).

I would've excused myself and went to chat up a random girl-or the bartender(male or female).

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as i was reading the same thought popped up that k-loc had, you stayed in the set too long. you late it get too mundane and they got bored. also, before bouncing out the patio, you should open at least one other set so youre not sitting there for so long by yourself. this shows social proof if they notice, and also you can potentially grab some new material to chat about.

for the future, make sure you leave the set on your own terms, not waiting for them to kick you out. otherwise, props on the set my man

Good points Braden.

You never want to be done with.

Instead,be the one who ends the interaction rather than being kicced out.

As Braden said,I was gonn mention it also,that when you were inside alone,you should've be chatting up ppl instead of sitting alone.

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First of all - cause this is important - it's called JOHNNIE walker


I gotta say, I did NOT like the way you started the conversation with the girl, saying something, and then waiting 2 minutes before you said something again. Makes you look weak and not persistent.

But the main thing you did wrong was you seemed a bit boring to be honest. Doesn't sound like to me you were being very fun to be around with, and you didn't do anything fun or interesting. Basically all you did with these ladies was - as you described it yourself - talk about random, generic stuff. That doesn't sound very fun!

The fact that your conversation was boring, combined with the fact that you didn't kino, negged her, teased her, sexually escalate or anything made them look at you as a very non-sexual creature.

DO SOMETHING! Act crazy, take the girl out to the empty dancefloor and be a more fun, crazy kind of guy.

You need to be more interesting. A first impression of you should be a unique moment, and definately not "How's it going" followed by 2 minutes of silence.


You can peacock all you want, and dress in fur and look like a pimp, but if you're gonna talk about the weather and what she does for a living, it doesn't even matter.


They might very well be having a girl's night out, but if you were interesting enough, they would have begged you to stay, and not ask you to leave.
And bad idea about going out to them in the pattio by the way - way too needy.

AND the fact that you were alone and she was with her friends is also a very bad situation for you.


Hope I wasn't too rough on you

Go out there and act crazy now please

That was stright up raw James The 3rd.

You basically cosigned what I was saying.

The few minutes pause after he initiated the chat was bad thing.

I advocate being wacky & crazy in set opposed to being boring & mundane.

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K-loc and James have good points.

I couldn't tell your target either. And you only have a rate to girl 1 and not the other two. Girl 2 was interested, gave you and IOI off the tap.

I like what K-loc said about the "you should have another drink." Girl's night out usually means a number of drinks. Seems like they were, but once they moved outside they stuck to ice water.

Girl 1 come to think of it you could have ordered a round between you and her, and said something with like "now that you're already hitting my wallet, I think we're going to have to fix this situation by me and you going out again, on you."

A few things can happen but either A) She says you offered blah blah or B) She laughs and says who knows what.

So since her friend isn't there yet, get her number. Could have stayed and been introduced or ejected yourself and called her 3 days later. (I forget who to credit that to, I want to say it was DeAngelo)

Hey MC,you should be a dating coach(lol).

I like your view point and you basically see eye to eye with me.

Thanks for the props.

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Hey guys, thanks for the feedback. I just wanted to answer some stuff. I appreciate all of the comments, and noticed alot of them had a lot of the same stuff in common, so this def. helps.

"I gotta say, I did NOT like the way you started the conversation with the girl, saying something, and then waiting 2 minutes before you said something again. Makes you look weak and not persistent."

Yeah, about that, I mean, I didn't really think anything of it, but enough people on here have said that it hurt me. I thought the whole point of this all is to not read too much into stuff like that and be unreactive. While I didn't think the 2 minutes was a big deal if you guys say it made me look weak, then I guess if you say so.

"But the main thing you did wrong was you seemed a bit boring to be honest. Doesn't sound like to me you were being very fun to be around with, and you didn't do anything fun or interesting."

The Scamp also asked if I was animated. I'm not an animated extrovert. I don't know how to be more interesting than I already am. I mean, I know tons about interesting topics I like to talk about, business, social sciences, cultural issues, politics, but can't see how I'd talk about anything more than "getting to know you" kinda stuff with girls that are total strangers. I don't know what to start talking about without it seeming contrived.

"You need to be more interesting. A first impression of you should be a unique moment, and definately not "How's it going" followed by 2 minutes of silence."

What else are you supposed to do in an empty bar in the daytime? How would I make an opening in a situation like this "wild and crazy"? Is that even necessary?

I get more people these days tell me that the best opener you can use is "Hello." or "How're you doing?" rather than gimmicky type lines that sound contrived (PU of a few years ago)

People I've seen with decent game have even said, "When you're starting out at this, you can be a chode. Use generic, getting-to-know-you type stuff because you're just building comfort."

About going out to the patio, I'm not sure how else I would've engaged these girls. They were not gonna be coming back in. Maybe someone with top game would've done something before they even left, but it happened so fast, they left right out from under me I wasn't really ready for it.

I think the consensus is that yeah, I did stay too long. I've thought about this and realize that I probably should've left much sooner than I did. I could've gotten one of their numbers, or maybe all 3, and slipped out, saving face, even if they weren't interested.

As far as opening other people in the bar before going to the patio, etc. There were no other people there. There was an old couple at the table next to us on the patio, no one else inside.

I guess there's just this last thing:

"AND the fact that you were alone and she was with her friends is also a very bad situation for you."

Wait, I thought it's okay to go out alone? I'm in a town where I don't really know a lot of people that like to go out, much less who'd be available at 4:30 on a weekday. Having friends to roll up in a place with is great, but you shouldn't *have to* have that, so they say.

When I go out, it's almost exclusively by myself. I thought this was all about having the confidence to know you can roll up by yourself and go off on your own meeting people, not needing friends as a social crutch.

I guess to sum this up, I don't know how to be this loud, wild and crazy guy; I've never been like that...the life-of-the-party kinda guy. Is that even needed? Also, sexually escalating felt inappropriate with these girls. When it was me and the 2, then the 3, it was still daylight out; it felt like day game. I don't know how I was supposed to have whipped out the game and started moving on one of the girls, with the others there.

Dude,

This set was almost a month ago!

Really, don't dwell on stuff. We all do it, but it's a habit I'm making real effort to get out of. It's just not helpful.

Really don't let it drag you down, this isn't a critique on you as a person. I'm sure you're a top bloke.

All we are doing is trying to give you advice on how to improve these interactions.

You said you never get animated.

Bullshit.

I know you'll get animated when you;

talk about something you find fascinating,
watch your favourite team,
that awesome movie you've wanted to see for ages.

You don't have to be this CRAZY guy, but you do have to be.....sparkly, you need to generate interest.

How?

Well you've got stuff girls want.

And you only have to browse this site for LOADS of silly routines, I'm not talking openers. I mean like the ESP stuff, the cube, etc

AND throw in a time constraint

Scamps

Yeah, I didn't mean to post back this late, I never got email responses and didn't know this many replies came in. When I didn't see any replies after a couple days, I didn't check back.

Poodogr - You mentioned how you weren't ready for them to leave like that and that's understandable but think of it this way. I do and it works. Plan for the worst but hope for the best. Situations where a boyfriend or in your case a "girls night" unexpectedly come up, you have something to say right away since you don't fumble.

You don't need to act like the life of the party or anything because honestly, like you said, it's a day time bar game. It'll be hard to find more than 15 people. At night, sure.

I think the way game should be played is by changing or just amplifying the girl's attraction to YOU. Make YOU the guy she wants. If her mindset is a 200lb body builder guido, change it to you. I believe that's part of Mystery's game. I could be wrong (again).

One topic I would stray from is politics. You may know a vast amount of info, but you could be preaching conservative topics while she's a liberal.
Scamps right, this is just a critique on your game, which anyone's could use improvement. And like he said, don't dwell on it, just think of it as a stepping stone.

Poodogr, I didn't say it in my last post but good job for the most part. Day games are harder IMO. Just think about it, you made a step closer to become a mPUA
An AFC would be sittin' at the bar staring instead of even breaking the ice.



Oh and k-loc, thanks to you too man

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