Hi!
I finally did it (altough I didn't do nothing, she did it but..)! I got my crush of six months into bed. We were kissing for like an hour or so. I stroke her over her body and stuff, but when I put my hands on her pussy she took it away for a while (could've been because there were people sleeping in the same room?).

Well, let's get on to my problem. I'm always the one that message her on MSN, I think she has messaged me once, and she always likes my facebook statuses and likes them and so on.. Last night was three days ago this happened and I spoke to her on MSN. Whenever we speak we have a really long talk, we talk for hours and sometimes she says she has to go but we get on to another subject and speak for another hour.

The girl and I go to the same school and we almost never speak to each other when we're sober. I tried getting eye contact with her yesterday but I couldn't. Am I naive thinking that what we did changed something? I had to go really early that night and I kissed her goodbye and everything.

I don't even have her phone number, so how do I get her phone number and do stuff with her without asking it out loud? We have a lot of things in common and I really like this chick, she's maybe not the prettiest but I like her personality a lot.

So my question is: How do I move on and escalate things? She texted me from her friends phone because she lost hers so that's why I don't have her phone number.

(Sorry for a bad post )

// Captain

You need to work on setting the mood... arousal... also planning if you knew u were trying to get it in the bed why would u be in the room with other people... if you know she not going to be down with it... but on the next subject - its going to be extremely hard to work backwards initially you should make the effort to say hi when u see her and spark up a convosation keep the kino and act natural...

I wasn't actually planning on getting her into bed. We were at a club and decided to go to an afterparty at her friends house. While we were there and sat there talking I escalated some kino and when we laid down on a pull-out-couch she touched my chin and I kissed her.

We were in her friends room and I couldn't move her or anything. I understand that it's hard to work backwards, as I've said I'm speaking with her on MSN from time to time but it's always me that initiates it, that night she texted me and asked me to come to her.

I know that I sound like an AFC when I say this but I'm afraid of rejection. I've been rejected once in my life before and it sucked balls, and now that I've found a girl that I really like it's hard for me to take the big leap. But I've considered something... asking her if she felt something maybe? Talk to her a bit and then say "Hey... didn't it feel wierd when we hooked up last friday? ... I mean good wierd not strange wierd heh"

Does it sound like a good idea? I feel that I have to do SOMETHING before it all gets cold. I've seen it happen to a couple of my friends and it's pretty hard to reinitate a "relationship" when it's gotten cold.

Kk im gonna help you out here a bit.

First you need to develop the confidence to approach her at your own will like shes already your girlfriend. Walk up to her and give her a neg...like hey there...how my favorite little brat doing?.....chat with her a bit...(tease her a bit) ... and then say I usually dont go that far with girls before I have their number...make eye contact...NICE SMILE....then pull out ur phone and hand it to her.

2nd Base (warm up) Make sure she has your name and phone number on her phone. Preferably she will give you her phone as an exchange and u put the name like GoodkisserJoe. then start ur texting game within 1 to two days of u accomplishing this.

Let me know if you need more help.

_________________
ZigZag 101

cptn - your suggestion was horrible please dont approach the situation like that u will get clowned and it will be bad dude...

zigzag - is one the right track besides the neg theory shit fuck that it for rookies... but I agree walk up to her like she is already yours.... ur scared of reject, but yet u just kissed this girl and all that... but dude I would still learn to get over your fear get yourself a customer service job...it will force u to communicate and get comfortable and then finally u can attempt to get rid of the fear of rejection...

Thanx a bunch guys for the replies! I truly appreciate it.

I feel that I'm starting to get "one-itis" really, it's driving me crazy. I don't want to care this much about this chick... but she's fucking awesome! Does anyone know how I can get out of this? I mean... I still want to be with her, but in a more "casual" fashion... I don't like the feeling of being "in love".

I actually slept with her once more... same room, some people inside, same shit happened. This time I was the one who initiated and she seemed to like it. I guess I got a lot of indicators of interest, I told her to go to bed and that I was going to be awake for a while (she was laying on a couch with me on it, but on the other side). She said that it was a pull-out couch and we pulled it out. I then went to the computer and sat there for a while until I went and laid on the bed reading a magazine, we talked for a while and she actually stayed up even though she was tired and everyone else in the room slept (this is a major IOI right?).

I wish that it was in a different situation though, that we were alone. There was another room we could be in but it was taken. This is where I get a bad feeling... we slept and I was touching her hair when we woke up and she didn't react, almost as if she didn't want anything more to happen. I'm really bad at reading signs and I feel that she was a bit cold at me.

I've got really low self-esteem really, so I'm a piece of work. I am always suspecting that she likes my friend (who's a natural) more, but I don't think that she has indicated it in a major way. The low self-esteem contributes to a lot of jealousy, I don't know how to get rid of it.

Well... after that night we've texted for like two days and then done nothing. I don't want to be pushy (or should I?) and always initate conversations on MSN... I think it feels creepy and what if she doesn't like me? I'm a really cool guy when I don't think about it but when I try to be cool I just fuck up and come off as boring.

What do you guys think I should do to move on? Should I go in stronger in the mornings? Should I text her some? Should I talk with her over MSN more?

I live in Sweden and we don't "date" per sé, so I don't want to ask her to dinner or something. I'm 19 by the way!

Thanx in advance guys, really appreciate it. (wow... long post)

Read this carefully - because if you mess this up through your low self-esteem and in-action, and come back and read this post, you will hit yourself in the head for not following it an understanding it.

Where boy-girl interaction is involved, there are no rules - the fact that other people are around will actually be an exciting thing, if the frame is set right.

If she's in your arms, you must make a move. If she doesn't want you to, she will either be totally frozen, or pull your hand away. Then you back off like it's all cool and hey it's her choice. After you back off, if she wants it she will not want to send the wrong signal, and she will do something positive, like move in closer or something, and you know you can try again. Rinse and repeat.

And above all - fucking work out how to ignore that scared voice. You gotta. Approach several girls in the street, just to ask them for directions to somewhere, try and extend it out, get them to point something out for you etc. do something over and over earlier in the day till you have no fear, and then when you go to meet her, take that fearlesness with you.
Some times the best way to ignore that scared voice is to just... ignore it. Turn on your motor functions, walk over to where you need to be, say what you need to say... all like remote control. That has worked for me in the past when I used to have anxious moments and got me over my biggest hurdles. I must say it still comes in useful even today.

Thanx for the post man, I'll do my best! I must get this thing worked out.

I've texted with this chick ever since last saturday now, she has initiated it most of the times. I think this is going my way really, she likes to longboard and I do too... but mine broke and I'm buying a new one in a couple of days. Shes wanted to longboard with me ever since I met her and it'll happen pretty soon I think. Just have to keep from messing up and I really don't want her to lose interest in me because I take too long to do something.