Just need a few tips for gaining control in my relationship. We've just confessed our love for each other and now she seems to be trying to control me a little bit. The way she put it is, shes in control outside the bedroom and im the one in control in the bedroom, she into being controlled, dominated etc. Im not a fan of her having all the control outside the bedroom though. I want control all over, any ideas?

Thanks in advance.

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Tommy C

How old are you and your gf?

Im 25 shes 21. We've been flat out seeing each other since Dec. 10. 08.

x

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Tommy C

don't let her take a yard if you give her an inch. (no pun intended)

You say where, you say when. Be a man but treat her like a lady. Let her know shes your girl and that you are her man. This doesn't mean disrespect in anyway.

Sometimes i think i even get this a little wrong and come off as an ass hole... but it's all practice. You got to consider her feelings as well.

I'd say on the scale of mind games... When you are "gaming" her on a scale of 1-10 you're at 8-10 when gaming and when its developing you go from 8 to 6 back to 8 and so on showing your colours, so to speak. and then when the relationship develops you adjust and bring it down to around say i dunno 4-5?

Just trying to put things into perspective!

I would be interested to hear others opinions too.

Btw her saying she has the control outside the bedroom. Not cool in my opinion that she even said it. unless it just shows her strive and desire to try and have it and she likes to believe it.

Another thing!.... Let them think they have the power sometimes...

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I like to hybrid techniques, inner game and methods with my own natural game.

So you basically saying continue with all the push pull mind games?

For example, Ive been raised as the second in a family of 5 boys, so I am very used to the hiracy system that we have in place, basically all my younger brothers do exactly what I say and then my older brother I do what he says. She gets pissed off with the way that I control my younger brothers, and then she goes and tries and controls me, eg, the other day she left her drink in the other tv room and told me to go get it, I was like urrrrm nope, and then she threw like a hissy fit saying that I should go get it if i love her, i refused and told her she was being rediculous! Then we had a couple of days of not talking and she eventually came round to the fact she was being silly, and appologied. So it kinda worked. I just gotta realise when she is tryin to control me.

Thanks for your tips.

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Tommy C

Yup i would say continue, Lets be honest here. Women have had years more conditioning with their magazines and tips and tricks on "how to control their man" etc etc... talking with their girlies.... swaping knowledge and tactics, and yes we cant help the post feminism society, with women putting they're foot down (maybe a little too much) and perhaps slight role reversal, but thats what happens when something takes place thats major, over compensation occurs, it will balance. Anyway one things for sure men today are more socially aware and this is why your here. This is what makes us men different because were not ashamed to say "yes i need to learn" yes i understand that our nature of being a man means its over looking our pride and ego but theres nothing wrong with re-gaining the edge. Success can be learnt.

good luck

Sierra

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I like to hybrid techniques, inner game and methods with my own natural game.

I was like urrrrm nope, and then she threw like a hissy fit saying that I should go get it if i love her, i refused and told her she was being rediculous!

I love the way women get bratty when things don't go their way.

Nice job on this one, keep it up!

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Keep people off-balance and in the dark by never revealing the purpose behind your actions. - Robert Greene

You need to do this more often. I'm not saying to be a stubborn ass all the time, but set a dominant frame. If you don't want to bend over backwards for her, don't. If you are not cool with something she says or does, be open and tell her so. The possible reason she continues to try to control you is because you haven't planted your feet down enough and she is still able to push you over.

Like I said, be reasonable and don't be stubborn to the point where you are a difficult person to be around, just recognize what is and what is not a ridiculous request. Perhaps try making her jump through loops too. For example:
Her: "Go get my drink in the other room."
You: "Fine, but you have to __________ first."

Now you are are getting her the drink, but she is doing something for you and at your request so you are taking control of the situation.

Thank you everyone for your tips. I will keep it all in mind, the hoops is a great idea, i read this once but haven't done it for ages.

many thanks,

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Tommy C

You shouldn't ever try to control a woman!! She is demanding to much control. No one should be in control of anything. Equailty is up most important in every relationship. I personally, a female, dislikes being controled and having too much power over any man, as this to me is a sign of weakness.

Hope you can resolve your issues.

Do not listen to vladdisa, you have to control her for the good of your relationship. Nothing good can come from a woman who calls the shots-not only will you have to deal with a lot of crap you don't need to, but she will lose respect for you and in turn lose interest, you being in control keeps her looking up to you, this is basic stuff.

By the sound of this girls antics it looks like shes trouble, don't give into her game-getting the drink means admitting defeat. Its a game of inches at this point. Listen to Al Pacinos speech in Any Given Sunday.

Good luck,
Machida

I don't think controlling her is what we are going for here... I mean she is her own individual and she can make her own decisions. You have no control over what she says, does, who she hangs out with, how she does certain things, etc.

What we are going for here is just not bending over for every last thing... see my above post.

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"Vincit Qui Se Vincit"