I approached my FIRST random girl today



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PostPosted: Sat Apr 17, 2010 9:03 am 
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...and I was a total klutz. ok so we're in the library and I was pretending to check out books. I walked up to the same shelf she was on the left of me so I just went,

Hey do you mind if I get your opinion on something? (said really fast cuz i was nervous as fuck and i think my facial expressions were not my usual expressions, it was really fucked up)
She stared at me with the 'huh wtf' eyes then went okay, so I went

would you date a guy who was still friends with his gf?
uhh ya
blablabla basically went like the Paris hilton pickup in The Game routine then I talked about the box of photographs etc
her: ya if I really loved him
me: *tried capitalising on the box topic* really u wouldnt? wow most girls would.

she then asked me why i was being random, and I stupidly smiled and said why not? why are you so unrandom? i was tryna be a fucking smart aleck and idk what that gave her. she started walking away slowly and then I went and said, hey you wanna try something fun? (while giving a really HUGE GRIN on my face)
then she blew me off with Im actually with a friend im kinda busy
so I just went nice talking with you and walked away. during the conversation there were several pauses because I was pretending to be interested in books and pulling them off the shelf and looking at the back -_-

questions...:
when should I be smiling and not smiling? when should I give a serious look?
what kind of facial expressions should i have?


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 17, 2010 9:10 am 
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I know you were nervous, but next time, be calmer with yourself, you don't need to speak so fast and freak her out. If you speak in a natural tone and keep yourself together, you'll get a much better positive response rate. One she does respond, then quickly try and change the subject, maybe a ESP trick...


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 17, 2010 10:23 pm 
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Quote:
...and I was a total klutz. ok so we're in the library and I was pretending to check out books. I walked up to the same shelf she was on the left of me so I just went,

Hey do you mind if I get your opinion on something? (said really fast cuz i was nervous as fuck and i think my facial expressions were not my usual expressions, it was really fucked up)
She stared at me with the 'huh wtf' eyes then went okay, so I went

would you date a guy who was still friends with his gf?
uhh ya
blablabla basically went like the Paris hilton pickup in The Game routine then I talked about the box of photographs etc
her: ya if I really loved him
me: *tried capitalising on the box topic* really u wouldnt? wow most girls would.

she then asked me why i was being random, and I stupidly smiled and said why not? why are you so unrandom? i was tryna be a fucking smart aleck and idk what that gave her. she started walking away slowly and then I went and said, hey you wanna try something fun? (while giving a really HUGE GRIN on my face)
then she blew me off with Im actually with a friend im kinda busy
so I just went nice talking with you and walked away. during the conversation there were several pauses because I was pretending to be interested in books and pulling them off the shelf and looking at the back -_-

questions...:
when should I be smiling and not smiling? when should I give a serious look?
what kind of facial expressions should i have?
First off, congrats on actually approaching a girl. Went a lot better than most guys I've seen approach for the first time. You stayed on the opener TOO Long, you didn't progress into anything, she got a weird vibe because you are supposed to be talking to her and you're pulling books off the shelf?

You are smiling when you approach her, you are smiling when you open her, you are smiling the whole time because you are guy with a good attitude having fun talking to this chick. I think you need to practice rolling into different stories, did you ask her anything about herself, ask her why she was there, transition into something other than trying to run canned routines?

It was your first time though, so don't beat yourself up. Keep approaching girls and just work on having a nice and natural flowing conversation. Then after you have mastered that, which in essence is the entire attraction phase, you can get serious, and start giving serious looks. Otherwise, why would you be serious? You are having fun talking to this girl for 5 minutes.


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 18, 2010 8:25 pm 
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Well done, dont worry about the pauses, they'll iron out after you've warmed up a bit. I prefer the gunwitch "hover approach" to canned opinion openers though

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 19, 2010 4:04 pm 
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thanks guys for the replies and advice gonna pluck up the courage on a few more chicks and will see how it goes >_>


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 20, 2010 12:05 am 
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Consider shorter dialogues next time (less chance to screw things up as a newbie and because of nervousness)


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 21, 2010 8:25 pm 
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OOOUUCCCHHHHHH. I think you every noobie should wingman when its their first time, because if that happened to me, my confidence would be sooo low, but hsieee at least you got the balls to go up to her, I find myself pussing out some times.

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PostPosted: Wed Apr 21, 2010 9:03 pm 
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I use this term, whatever puts you down, only makes you stronger. Use it in gaming too, fuck them, they're human like you and no better. If their head is so far up their own ass, remove it by GAME!


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 21, 2010 9:14 pm 
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congrats to you man you took the first step towards your goal, i think that went pretty well for a FIRST time, now review what happened and think about where you can improve

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PostPosted: Thu Apr 22, 2010 10:41 am 
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The first approach is always the toughest.

I hope you'll make many more approaches.

Learn about body language, voice tone, energy calibration and you'll be fine.

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PostPosted: Thu Apr 22, 2010 11:46 am 
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Try using delayed exuse, use it as backup. If you notice it isn't going well say for example; 'Oh, before I forget what's the time?'
It's a great way to bail and it boost confidence, knowing you have an escape route.


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 22, 2010 2:51 pm 
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I think that the only way that i eventually became comfortable with approaching was by getting shot down A LOT. the point is, that it's just not that bad and once you realize that the worst case scenarios just isn't that bad, that's when you can really (legitimately) start being cocky-funny/relaxed/etc.

good luck to you...

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