ok so i just signed up for an online account to try internet dating. today i got a message from this hb9.5 (looks) with her email address and asking me to contact her.

i am very new to this, usually i just go out and meet people, never online. how soon should i email her and how soon should i ask for her number? or should i go for IM for some sort of a conversation first and then if it goes well, ask her to give me her number?

Here's how I've gotten best results:

Email her back. Once you get her to respond to you twice, pitch meeting up. Something simple and non-threatening like drinks after work. If she emailed you first, she'll go for it.

Once you have a time and a place nailed down, THEN offer her your phone number. She'll give you hers in response. THEN, you can have an IM conversation with her.

But the above order is what's important. Set the meet, THEN worry about getting phone numbers or having IM conversations. Doing the reverse is just a waste of time (unless you like talking to women online you never have sex with).