okay so this is my first post and ive noticed the more detail put in = better responses, with that said.

I met this cute short asian cute that is into many of the same things that i am into (random drives, hiking, nature, ski/snowboard, camping the beach, partying) basically imo a perfect gf but im not wanting a relationship (which i told her) so last nite we had an awesome time at a 24 hour diner which continued to another for desert i stupidly tried the 5 Q with her and made the stakes a kiss for a cig (or was it stupid?) and she responded that she was sorta into another guy and didnt want to mess it up. so i switched the convo and gave her a cig. we continued the night enjoying ourselves kinda like best friends would or really good friends ending near the hollywood sign (a road trip). pretty much i felt like i was looking in the mirror with her and her personal beliefs and the way she lived her life which i said "were to similiar i cant be freinds with you".
TONITE: to night i went out with another girl and it was a boring nite nuthing in common and she had to go for some family dinner (she asked to meet again, so it couldnt have been that bad) anyways i called up little asian girl and told her to save me from a boring party that i was invited to. and she said that she would take me on a drive so we did and we went to the beach and ive been trying to escalate things with touching of the shoulder, hugging... and still no attraction to me physically (shes also a virgin) and i just get this big LJBF vibe from her. then our night was ended earlyat the beach. we were high together and the cops roll up and say were trespassing and were there after hours (mind you im shitting BRICKS) so i mention to him im a paramedic and he says ok you guys take it somewhere else and leaves (OMG THANK GOD) so then we leave the beach and we return back to her apartment and we get out and i walk her to her door and i say goodnight and i got a hug but it felt offhand.
Soooo.... I feel like shes not attracted to me sexually. (ive never given IOIs to her. Ive jumped through some of her hoops. i have given many DHV's in stories. saving my sister's life as a kid. stopping a guy from hitting a girl and me saying that men shouldnt hit women, paramedic stories. I have also shown that im popular with girls (they were calling like crazy while with her maybe about 8 times and continuous text messages) i showed her a great time around the city the first nite. So her relationship story is that she doesnt hook up with guys only in relationships and she hasnt had sex. I really like this girl and im getting oneitis (dammit) so how do i turn her from a LJBF to a lets be friends with benefits and good times?
my thoughts were to take her on a camping trip ie maybe a snowboard trip or something and what happens happens? it seems like the only way that we might k-close or f-close is if we happen to sleep in the same place?
Any insight will be very helpful (remember oneitis and im starting to pull AFC stuff)
~Yigs

umm...I'm no expert but I guess you spent too much time on the comfort zone. So she didn't really feel any fear of loss from you. I'm not sure if you can get out of a LJBF zone. So I can't give you any advice about this type of situation. I would suggest using an SOI next time...a Statement of Intent, like the most famous...I think uR sexy. I rarely do SOIs, I don't have that type of confidence yet.

ive found that its easy to get out of the LJBF zone when you see her again just up the kino IMMEDIETLY!!!!! and give her a SOI, tell her she's sexy and see what happens

Oh yeah ur in the Friend Zone pretty deep. She cut u off when u tried to kiss her and said she liked some other chump that was pretty much end game. You're only digging yourself deeper into it. Stop inviting her to hang out with u for hours and hours. U need some distance u are too readily available for her. Ur wasting too much energy on this girl. I dont see too much chance for recovery you're going to have to maker her miss u if your not willing to stop hanging with her completely you don't have chance. Which means next time she calls to hang out You don't say "OK" You say "I'm busy i got to friend coming in town talk later" then don't call her back for about 3 days. As a matter of fact don't be so quick to return her phone calls wait till she says something worth hearing.
So u can take my advice or continue doing what ur doing now which is getting no where. Distance is what u need

_________________
Effort surpasses Talent, but of course I already have Talent I'm just putting Effort on Top of that

mkay so ive upped the kino and took her out on another "adventure" into the hills where you can see the city lights. and we were back to back looking at the city. i then carried her (girls love this btw, shows that your strong and can take care of them especially since shes 4' 8") and i tickled her and hugged her, leg on lap while driving n such. we ended the night with play fighting and my picking her up and tossing her on the bed. sooo kino escalation worked cus she opened up and laughs n what not. so im thinking were in C1 (tell me if im wrong date 3) and im wondering if maybe im confused and this is just an escalation of LJBF? or if maybe shes starting to like me idk. if ne1 has ever had this experience and knows what is going on PLEAAAAASE help cus im not sure if i should try and close or if i should just be freinds idk (haha i want her but shes so much fun to be with idk if i should ruin that with a close) please once again any insight into my issue would be appreciated (btw what i called an adventure is basically a date disguised i mean a night under the stars, a drive around the town, and ending at mels diner. date right?)
your man in need,
~yigs

Your still in the friend zone bud, you didn't work the stages into completion the first time which is what put you in the friend zone. I hate to be the bearer of bad news but all you did on date 2 was show her the fact you where okay with being friends (since that's what she said she wanted) if you had been able to k-close on date 2 then it could have been a possibility. Assuming that she'll hopefully k-close or f-close on a trip your taking her on is wishful thinking. If I'm taking a girl on a trip I better freakin f-close or she can walk home lol but anytime I've taken a trip with a girl I'd already f-closed. By picking her up and play fighting and tickling her those ARE IoI's your giving off and she isn't being responsive. Your getting the LJBF feeling because that's the vibe she is trying to give you. My honest opinion in trying to reattempt a LJBF case is to cut yourself off from the person and hope they feel lonely without you there. If not you might see her out one night and you can try to start the game over but still have a HIGH chance of falling right back into the same trap. I have high doubts that if you did invite her on a trip that she'd accept and if you haven't closed anything yet I think your just going to be disappointed at the end of your trip. The only thing that can possibly fix this is time and that still isn't a guarentee.

Sorry it's not what you wanted to hear I'm sure,

~Surreal

mkay so its as if i am leaving a log more than a post, anyways... Tonight she called me up to go on another "adventure'. i picked her up and started neggin her/giving her reasons to qualify herself. and she started to qualify herself. and we went to the beach and we sat there enjoying the stars. and getting high. while smoking i had her blow the smoke into my mouth and our lips touched briefly. i had brought my camera and then started taking pictures of everything. and soon shes leaning up on me.
btw in the car i said
"my sister said you were cute"
"really? :shrug:"
"what you dont think youre cute?"
"not really"
"well i think youre cute"
"what, cuddly cute?"
"no sexy cute"
and her bodily language played off as if she hadnt thought that i thought of her as attractive (btw how do i let a sarge know that i think of them as attractive? whith out telling them straight up?")
so back the the pictures i felt like ought to kiss her but i couldnt bring myself to do it. the fear of rejection was to high, even for the ole' "want to kiss me?" line. i just layed there next to her. i dont know how to overcome this fear. this is my first sober (not drunk) sarge k-close im freaking out about rejection.
I feel that she is deffinetly attracted to me but it feels as if shes doesn't want to hookup because ive hooked up with her friend (this feels like a beatable barrier)
and she knows i think shes attractive. and when i dropped her off at her dorm she reached over the seat (shes small so she basically was on me) and gave me a tight hug.
i need help on,
*k-close anxiety (minus alcohol)
*let a sarge know i think shes atractive
any help will be much appreciated!!!
~yigs

First off, can I ask why you decided to give her a compliment THAT YOUR SISTER gave her? If you want to get out of the LJBF situation, you better start using "I" statements, like "I think your sexy"... replace the word cute, with sexy as well... it's an SOI - Look it up under the search function, to understand it's effectiveness.

Secondly, if you're going to compliment her... there has to be justification for the compliment. Treat compliments as a reward for, desirable behavior. She must earn the compliment. So not only is she going to be left wondering, why all of sudden is he complimenting me on being cute, you're rewarding her for doing nothing... so nothing she'll continue to do. You'll be fighting an up hill battle from there to maintain an escalating conversation with her.

Focus on that last line... the word cute. It doesn't go well with sexy. You noticed that her body language had expressed to you that you weren't attracted to her, why? You sent a mixed message to her. "sexy cute"... is like saying you're hot, but to someone else. I want you to go up to someone, I don't care who it is... and just compliment them with that line... see what their reaction will be. You mixing your words, and creating confusion, your body language will be saying - I think you're attractive - but your words communicate to her... He thinks i'm just like his sister, CUTE!

However, on the positive I am glad however you are taking some of the advice on board, I can see that your kino escalation is getting you to claw outta the whole you just dug....

good luck...

_________________
Experience is the teacher of all things - Julius Caesar

Yigs I already told u what u needed to do and you're not doing it
you've hung out with this girl twice in the past 2 days STOP! answering her calls and jumping at to every chance hanging out with her. In 2 days u have only managed to plunge yourself deeper into the friend zone. Oh you'll learn to take good advice

_________________
Effort surpasses Talent, but of course I already have Talent I'm just putting Effort on Top of that

You know the last time i told a guy that I was into another guy. guess where He stayed IN THE FRIEND ZONE.
You're not conveying ur a Prize to be won by her she's already holding ur balls in her hands.. You're her little lap dog***roll over****Good boy

SouthernCross gave u some DAMN good advice to distance your self I highly suggest u pay attention to what he said. I think ur problem is u have too much pride to listen to another man's advice. Because he's not giving u a quick fix or what u want to hear. A quick fix does not exist in ur situation your in too DEEP

U need to recognize Right now no amount of kino or negging is going to bring u anywhere closer to Sex with her. She straight up dissed ur attempt to kiss in the worst way man....
From what I'm read u must like being in the Friend Zone. if you keep doing what ur doint now u won't Change ANYTHING
Give here some space she cannot be ur top priority

_________________
So u think you can handle this?

okay okay lol i get it give her space. basically she has indicated that she is interested in me and so i dont think im in the LJBF place anymore (although very close to it) ill go ahead and listen to your advice and distance myself from her (tell her im busy) and maybe in a week hit her up again? and then where do i go from there?
~yigs

Be careful not to misinterpret her indications now, really the only thing that definately means she's into you is a k-close. Being in the friend zone means she can be comfortable around you and let her guard down a little. IoI's could just be the fact that she's letting some of her insecurites present themselves seeing as she doesn't have to hide them from a friend.

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DO give space, DO NOT hit her up again, one week is not giving her space it means your just waiting till the weekend. I think most of the people here have told you how you need to respond but you don't seem to be listening. While these methods may not work 100% they're the methods that get the best result more often than not. If you decide to try your own way good luck and if it works let us know how it was done, but we can't really tell you where to go next since your not using the routines and methods typically used and successfull with it.

Good luck

_________________
~Surreal

-----------------------------

"Why do we fall, sir? So that we might better learn to pick ourselves up."

Bro when ever i hear these one-itis stories i feel like im looking in the mirror.
she may have told u she was into another guy cuz u told her u didnt want a gf and the whole thing is a shit test. i dont know it could all be read a lotta different ways and what u say is biased cuz u like her.

shes also a virgin and shes most likely insecure(its unclear to me whether shes even been with a guy)

she could also just be smoking ur pot. im assuming uve been paying for her (oh yea, big hint, stop fucking smokin with her u stoner. DLV. and u over analyze everything when ur high and ur just gonna spend the whole time second guessing urself. i used to be a big stoner in highschool...i know)

secondly, whether she is interested or not, u are too close to the friends border to continue any further. you need to not talk to her for at least double the time that uv known her. the only recovery is to make her really think that you lost interest in her. u dont have to ignore her but dont let ur convos with her run longer than 2 or 3 mins, on the phone or other wise.

im pullin for u dude, but you gotta listen to what we're all tellin you

_________________
-rook

Here's a bit of an objective breakdown of this for you
Right here I would suggest to have just picked yourself up and walked away. A similar thing happened to a buddy of mine at a party once. When she said "I'm not really that interested in you" him he didn't say a word and INSTANTANEOUSLY got up and left - like it was a reaction or not even thought about. Upon leaving the girl grabbed his arm and asked where he was going. He replied "I'm going to find someone who thinks I'm interesting because clearly you don't." - Result: K-Close
Again, I wouldn't even have given her a cigarette. Clearly she didn't deserve it
I would have kinoed her a long time before. Remember the only real difference between a sexual relationship and one of friends is the touching part. If she can't stand my touch to begin I don't usually bother
Again, kino escalation is for the beginning, at this point you're in too deep
Your DHV stories look a bit try-hard. Tone em down a bit maybe? Maybe go find some other girls in the mean time. Southern Cross and EasyLover definitely have your solutions tied up. This is just a breakdown of things as I saw them

Your past the point of no return my friend,theres no attraction just move on to the next chick.Please don't become one of those sad orbiter guys,if you don't just wanna be friends with her then leave it,move on plenty more fish in the sea.But learn from your mistakes get attraction built up from th start and go in for the kill as soon as possible,my instincts tell me you left it to long.