Hey guys,

Currently in a relationship, 17 year olds, I'm a virgin.

I won't lie, the fact I am one still is killing me, it's just the social pressure and it's the ONLY thing that I feel is stopping me from being truly happy with myself. I have lots of friends, I do lots, I'm in good shape, people like me, I enjoy life. I just haven't had sex.

Me and my girlfriend are emotionally attached, have been for a while, just haven't got there yet. I often find it a struggle to get her to agree to spend time with me outside of college.

I'm afraid to bring up sex as a topic of conversation though - like I don't think it's the kinda thing you talk about, is it ? "Do you want to do it?" Isn't that a turn off ? You should just escalate physically in person right ? That's hard to do when you've not done it before.

Do you guys have any advice to offer ? This is part inner game / part action required really.

Thanks !

i have been dissagreed with on these topics before but i always say its not something to bring up

i say its something that should happen like you kissing and it escalates to you having sex

not like your talking then your like a week from now when were both not busy we should finaly have sex

cause then it just builds presure it should feel natural

however if you think she needs to know go for it i dont know your gf

I can imagine how you feel. It's probably scary to just start sexually escalating and signaling that you want sex. But you need to push yourself to do this. Bringing this up as a conversation is gonna make it a big deal. You don't want that. Sex in a relationship shouldn't be a big deal.

So push yourself. You could try to for example think like this: If I don't sexually escalate soon - she might start seeing me as just a friend and the relationship will be killed. Later when I get a new girlfriend - the process will repeat.

That mindset should definitely give you a slight push. Or if you don't like scaring the shit out of yourself, have this mindset: I'm gonna have to do it sooner or later.

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Journal/Blog: journal-little-panda-vt135329.html

sup bro, im new to the forums but what i think u can do is, maybe ask her to hangout with u at your house, tell her u wanna hangout and watch a movie or something, make it sound casual, then what u can do is talk bout stuff like for example ask wat she likes about u, then ask what physical trait she likes about u, just like talk about little stuff to get her trust, then transition to the better stuff like sex, then when you got her talking about it, u can make your move.

I'm 17 too.
you just have to escalatie most likely she wont escalate herself because it's not "socially acceptable"

Take it slow.

Trust me it's a few hour of fun with her and a lifetime of lockerroom chat with your boys.

Your probably comming off as needy. Thats the #1 reason why a chick doesn't want to hang out with you outside of school. I'm so glad I was able to overcome my needyness with kate. I was freaking out in my mind about how she was going to get with some other guy. I wanted to text her so bad, but I restrained. I still haven't talked to her in over like 2 weeks. You see I asked her out and she said NO. Because we have been friends for like a year. I'm sure that her desire to keep me in the friend zone stems from my neediness. She thinks I need to be with her for my emotional sanity, and she's right. So I have to stop with all those crazy thoughts about our future and stuff. I just have to live in the moment. Maybe thats what you need to do - live in the moment. Stop caring so much about how bad your life is because your a virgin. Sure maybe you don't feel proud, but there are a lot of guys out there like you. You don't have to be ashamed of it. If you see it as a flaw then the girl will see it as a flaw, and you will have to find a pity fuck. You need to see it as an asset, and the girl will feel privledged to take it from you. You see your entire world is constructed by your thoughts. So if you can twist everything from negative to positive you will have a positive reality that everyone wants to live in.

I hope this isn't too deep for you, but your question was a tough one. I think you have the mental aptitude to understand it and act upon it. Good luck.

Now to the second part of your question. The physical. Have you kissed her yet? Ok well this is what you do. You kiss her. Open mouth. Dont stick your tounge in her throat until she does it first, or you have been kissing her for like 20 minutes. Then when you do stick your tounge in her mouth playfullying lick her tounge and pull your tounge back in your mouth, and have her chase your tounge like a game of cat and mouse. Its all about having fun, so keep it playfull. You pull back a lot. then have her come to you. Slowly kiss her lips and then pull back. You see its about building up attraction. So you are teasing her. The worst thing you can do is to just go straight for the back of her throat. Go slow like your other buddies said. Keep it sexual and slow, and erotic. A slow kiss is amazing. Then pull away look in her eyes slowly rub your lips over hers and pull back again. Enticing her to come to you. And she will if you just keep her attraction level up. Kiss and kiss and kiss. After you have kissed for about a full hour, then you and start to slowly take off her close. You have to have the mentaility that you will kiss her forever, she has to feel that. Don't go strait for the sex. She needs to feel secure. This is going to be dificult for you because you are a virgin.

Because I am such a manwhore I recomend you just go out and fuck some slut. Like dirty dirty slut. But if you want it to be "special" then you got to work hard. Yea on second thought, your pretty much fucked until you reframe your mind to think in the positive about your virginity. Good luck with all that.

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Walk Hard

Well guess what guys, after having a really emotional evening with this girl and expressing my true feelings for her, two days later, it happened and it was great

I seemed to not be able to finish though I enjoyed it though, after about 10 minutes we stopped. Re-built up the tension over the next 20 minutes and tried again.

I wasn't great, I didn't expect to be, I was just happy I showed I could last a while.

We then lay there talking about our backgrounds and stuff for like an hour after, was all amazing, this girl and I have such a rough history, but I love her.

Dude, come on! Hook us up with some details. What happened? How did it happen? How did you feel? Did you do slow kisses? Don't get all crazy and think that you are some master now and you don't need to talk about your problems and shit. This is just the begining. Tell us whats up... please?

And remember don't get needy. You might start to imagine the future with her and shit. Don't do that. Live in the moment still. Have you told her she is your first? Don't get clingy.

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Walk Hard

Haha okay dude I'll give a bit more.

Well I stayed over at hers, we lay watching TV for a bit, talking about any old stuff, had a laugh, kissed here and there. She then got ready for bed and was in the most sexy nightwear I've seen her in.

After joining her in bed it wasn't long before I lay on top of her as we were kissing, she then pulled my boxers down and I her shorts. I tried to go down south kissing but she didn't want it, same with my hands, so I teased her a little bit by rubbing against her and then went for it. This was the hardest bit, finding the entrance First time 'n all, I used my hand for guidance and she told me when it is in. Missionary position, I went for a good minute or two, then we swapped over with her on top.

Here's what's weird - the feeling for me wasn't totally amazing. I think it's cause there was a slight pain because I was still a little sensitive down there . We went back to Missionary again. After about 10 minutes we had that break, started talking/teasing/flirting more, I even gave her a lil' lovebite on her chest as revenge for the ones she gave me before .

The main problem I had was when I was .... ready, if I/she couldn't get it in quickly he lost motivation so to speak. I think this was because about 5/6 hours before I'd already finished myself (attempt to try and prolong performance) - may have hindered it.

I don't know why she objected to the idea of me using my hands more, she doesn't mind doing it herself, in fact that's how she eventually finished me off. I know I can tease her and turn her on and obviously I want to be able to give her the same pleasure. Will be doing some research to make sure I don't make the mistake of not finding the entrance quickly next time, and also before next time I won't do anything myself on the day

There, there's some more details . I won't forget it though, I feel like the weight's been lifted and I can just enjoy everything more. I want to give back to her more next time, so time for some reading / advice if you wish to share it .

Regards,

Prophet

She's probably not comfortable with your hands yet, you can warm her up to that gradually.

Keeping it up, and not feeling amazing - both those things will improve with practice. Both women and men get MORE sensitive to sexual feelings with experience and repetition. It's a mental and physical awakening.