Okay, I'm writing this one because it is probably one of the best sarges of my life so far. No, I'm not amazing yet but this one is just freakin fun. I will try to keep it to the point. And forgive me if I mess anything up.. it IS 4 am here.

First, I opened like 6 sets all evening. Some went better than others... this field report is about a specific one.

I went to a local bowling alley with some friends this evening. I saw this older HB8 (32-36ish) walk in with this short AFC. As he is buying her shoes and getting their lane I am just fixated on her. The way her clothes matched her hb8 figure almost made her a 9. I watch with interest as I see a On duty cop start checking her out. They get a lane and I notice the cop walks up and is about to say something to her when her AFC makes a quick mention of something and the mood COMPELTELY changes.

Instead of this cop moving in on her, he sits down beside the guy and starts whispering to him while the HB8 is setting up the lane to bowl. I immediately figure out what is going on (You will see later) and I decide to use it to my advantage.

BUT at this time my AFC friends tell me "Stop staring and bowl!" SO I go back to my evening. I open up a couple of sets here and there until... I notice my HB8 is headed for the bar area alone and I quickly chug the rest of my drink (my first and it is 12:30) and head over to talk to her. She orders her drink and I walk up and order mine. I turn to her and say the following:

EvoJ: "That guy you came with is a cop right?"
HB8: "Yeah" smile "Do you know him?"
EvoJ: "Nope, never met him before."
HB: "Oh well did he write you a ticket or something and you remember him?"
EvoJ:" Nope. Never even met the guy before."
HB: "Well, he is pretty nice guy once you do get to know him."
EvoJ: "I'm sure he is hun, I try not to let the fact that someone is a cop throw off my estimation of them."
HB: "Yeah" laugh "I try to do the same, it IS hard though"
I get my drink and turn to leave saying "Have fun with your men in uniform" and wave over my shoulder as I leave to go back to my friends.

So it is last call and my friends decide to leave to go to a local bar cause we have just finished our game. I say cool and I go to leave... when I see my HB8 sitting alone at her bowling lane doing something with her phone. I walk up and slide on over saying "So, did you enjoy your game?" while looking to see what she is doing. Before she can answer I say "Omg... I can't believe you are checking your messages while you are with a guy. That is Horrible!"

She immediatly trys to qualify her actions with "Wait, they are work emails and.."
EvoJ:"Not just casual text... your WORKING while going out with a guy?!?! That is even worse!"
She starts to stutter and I sit down next to her and say "Don't worry about it, I am sure that it is VERRRRrryy important that you recieved Those emails..." So sarcastic that it was dripping off my tongue.
EvoJ:"And besides, it is okay as long as your not here talking with me"

She gets the hint and immediately clicks her phone shut. I have her undivided attention.
EvoJ:"Good, so who won the game?"
HB:"Oh he did blah ... Mind if I ask you a question?"
EvoJ" I suppose not, whats up?"
HB:" How did you know he was a cop? I mean, you had never met him and he never gave you a ticket... it has been all I can think about all night."
EvoJ:"OUCH!"
HB:"What?"
EvoJ:"YOu checking your email AND thinking about me all night... poor guy ... your treating him horribly."
HB: busts out laughing
EvoJ:"But yeah anyway... You really wanna know?"
HB:"Yeah!"
EvoJ:"Okay, you see, cops have a secret pact or language type thing. And the cop over there in the uniform was going to come up and hit on you. But I bet that as soon as he approached then your bowling buddy told him that he was on the force... didn't he?"
HB:"Omg yeah he did. and they had this little conversation over here that I couldn't hear."
EvoJ;"See! He basically warned him off of you. Kinda like when women have that secred code... a mix of verbal signals and body language to say when...


We chit chat for about 10 minutes about girls and bodylanguage and then we go to my body language...

EvoJ:"YOu see, I'm talking fast and I am slightly leaning forward.. this means that I am nervous."
HB:" You? why are you nervous?"
EvoJ:"Because I know your buddy is somewhere plotting a ticket for me as soon as I leave this place."

we have a good laugh...

HB:"Well,don't look now but he is at the bar with the other officer."
EvoJ:"I bet they don't look happy."
HB:"No, they don't."
EvoJ:"Well, then lets try out some of that bodylanguage to make them smile shall we?"
HB:"Okay... what do I do?"
EvoJ:"Okay, I want you to smile at me and then laugh and toss your hair.. then touch your chest... ready? Go."
She does it and within 20 seconds her guy comes over and starts to bowl.
Me and hottie have a long and loud secret laugh. The guy bowls first and then I greet him as warmly as possible, saying great shot and stuff like that. He shakes my hand VERY firmly and I say "Hi, I'm EvoJ" he says "Hey I'm AFOfficer ."...

I turn to my HB and stare at her. Then her guy does the same and so we are both just standing there in quiet time for about 3 seconds. She turns beet red and says "Hey, I'm HB8" we exchange the most sensual handshake I have had in years and I smile.

At this point I won. I knew it. There was no reason for me to continue. I seriously thought about it but decided it was time to go because if I ended up taking her out of there they may have decided to pull me in for any number of stupid reasons. And a nice piece of ass is not worth jail time.

So I say "Bye AFOfficer, nice meeting you." turn to HB8... "I WILL see you around, won't I HB8?" She blushes and nods.

I turn around to leave and the second cop is standing there, arms crossed and says "I'll escort you to the door, it is closing time."

And he does, quickly and efficiently.

End of night.

Hope this wasn't too long and if I need to elaborate on anything I will when asked. Please give me feedback on what I could have done better. Should I have just gone ahead and done it?

EvoJ

great FR...

but, how is it that you plan to see her again?

sweet story

"i will escort you to the door"

haha, if i had a few drinks in me i would have said

"for what its like 10 steps away"

then he would have tried to scare me and i woulda been like
"OH SHIT"

_________________
I'd rather go out swinging than strike out looking.
A lifestyle is a terrible thing to waste.
What I say when I see her is what I'll say.

I didn't notice any number close...

nice.
...EvoJ...respeckt

_________________
-
JUSTINcredible!
the one and only

maybe it is because he didnt????

_________________
I'd rather go out swinging than strike out looking.
A lifestyle is a terrible thing to waste.
What I say when I see her is what I'll say.

That's my point. She was obviously into him... it's not like the cops are going to bash his head in for a number close. Why not Evo?

Cause Evo's such a pimp he doesnt need a girls number, he knows that deep down he has conquered her and sex won't change that nice job evoj keep teaching us your ways!

Well, I appreciate the backup and such but I cannot honestly say that I didn't number close because I knew I had won.

I didn't #-close because I was scared of the possible repercusions. I know it seems stupid but I was seriously worried about going outside and getting a half a dozen tickets and a "Broken Tail-light".

I believe I mentioned I was one of the only guys left in the place when I was shown the door and I live in Alabama. I have no doubt that these guys could easily have me pulled over and ticketed.

But my success/failure isn't why I posted the Field Report. I posted it for a couple of reasons.

1. I was hoping someone might have pointed out a possible way for a #close without having to deal with her "date" and his uniformed friend.

2. Was hoping for some input as to things I could have done better. Like was there a way to disarm the datecop or was that impossible because I was hitting on his date?

3. Is a number worth a ticket? I don't know if he would have done something but I know he COULD have... and that is what matters. Or maybe if I would have gotten her digits and a ticket could I have gotten her to pay for it?.... hmm..

EvoJ