Alright, some background:


Met a very AVERAGE looking girl at a party. Hooked up on the FIRST date (thanks PUA's for teaching me the ways!). We have chemistry, talked a lot, chatted a lot, went on quite a few dates. Eventually we're officially together.

Fast forward 2 months. We start having some issues after spending about 1 week together (a bit too long). I asked her some loaded questions which ended up in a weekend full of ARGUMENTS....the silly kind...and I said some ass things...and I got drunk in front of her and her friends (but hey, didn't cause a problem!).
She is very weak emotionally and has "thin skin" so I gotta watch what I say to her to not hurt her feelings etc.

She got mad about that and I said, FINE GO AHEAD AND DUMP ME...a day later, she took my advice, LOL! Good going man, real smart of yourself...




What I need your help with:

This girl doesn't want a relationship apparently, but I made her really fuckin happy since she was always smiling big, and she even SAYS herself that she is still attracted to me and my personality...

So with that said, HOW do I go about "getting her back"?

I would say it's mostly for the sex, but I really do like her and might take a relationship again if she wanted it... (No, I do not have "oneitis" I am going to be seeing other women, and have plans/dates already in the works)


THIS is what I HAVE done..

*we're still friends
*I am "over" her but once and a while I tell her I miss her.
*I mention the other girls I hang out with (it pisses her off and she accused me of "trying to make her jealous" but I told her that wasnt the case, and its not...well kinda
*I've given her "space"
*we're hanging out for the first time in 4 weeks this coming thursday...Apparently she is even making it an effort to dress nice and even look good, since we talked about a specific outfit I thought was cute and she said "well maybe I will wear it for you"....black dress and some hot pink tights ya boyy yaaaa....

* I KNOW I still make her horny because we reflected on our sex we use to have...which resulted in her masturbating....we were Skpying, but no video chat...lol


HOW DO I BANG THIS BITCH? jk she's not a bitch, she's very nice, and kind. I might even want a relationship. But for SURE I want to bang her some more, lol.

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-- Jay --

I should also mention...


After these arguments I made sure to apologize to her. I apologize to OUR friends for me being drunk too...which is bullshit, im not actually sorry for being drunk, christ that's a stupid thing to be mad about.

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-- Jay --

This is very simple. Don't chase her. Make sure that you keep her around to the extent that she can see that you are seeing other women. Apart from that don't do anything for her or let her use you in any way. Do this and she'll come crawling back in no time.

It doesn't sound like the most happy relationship in the world with all those arguments, it's good that you're out looking for new people though
Chances are you'll meet somebody better

Oh and if you're going for the jealousy trick, it's better to have fewer details (she'll work it out and that way it won't seem like you're trying to make her jealous) e.g. "I'm going to the cinema with my friend, but I have to walk them back afterwards because it's finishing pretty late :/" as opposed to "I'm going to the cinema with this HOT girly "

Don't apologise for things that you're not sorry for, being mad at someone for being drunk sounds a bit excessive but then again I don't know the context or what "type" of drunk you are

Jazus man, do ya not think she mite be a bit more hassle dan shes worth? I dno, sup to yourself i suppose.

Freezing the girl out seems to be a very good way to grab her attention and keep her thinking about you. Especially since you had been texting her "i miss you" now and then. When she doesnt get those texts for a while, she will wonder why? is he with another girl? is he just buisy? and you will get a text.

Good luck on the date and getn her out of that black dress anywa haha.

Sounds like solid advice. I did some chasing in the first week of our breakup, but after that I have been just standing back and not chasing. My instinct was to back off as much as I could.


She might not be worth it, I'm not really sure. The start of the relationship was really great actually...The problems we had were DEF my fault and my own doing (won't go into details, but did some ASS things). Hopefully I can get her out of the black dress, haha, thank you

Thanks guys, if there's anything else, chime in.
I appreciate it...

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-- Jay --

Whoops, already apologized oh well, she said I had more "balls" than any guy she knew.


For the record: I am a fun, happy, dancing drunk. But this night....my friend touched my girls ass, on purpose in front of me (unless I was imagining it?? she said she didn't feel it) so my reaction was not good...I slapped his hand as he pulled away and I mad dog stared him....Whoops...

But that was it...no violence, no barfing, nothing vulgar.

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-- Jay --

I wanted to post an update on this "project" LOL. Yes, my Ex is just a project, oh well.

Anyways. We SPAM a lot, and somehow we usually end up having cyber sex. She lives 100 miles away, and I suggested we get together and make it reality (since she doesn't want a relationship right now).

She's still into me physically and sexually...but she said, "well hahaha, I don't think I will be fucking you jay" ....and I was just like WTF? You just cybered me and played with yourself and told me you needed to get banged!!!! 100 miles is nothing, since I saw her everyweekend putting 3k miles on my car to see her for like 3 months.



SO how do I CLOSE on this and nail her a few more times? Should have been an easy thing to do since im her Ex, shes attracted, desprate, and cant get sex anywhere else that she actually wants....

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-- Jay --

dont mention sex if you make an arrangement to meet if shes doing all theese things she dus wanna have sex again but doesnt want to be a push over, dont mention the problems of the past unless she brings them up, let her know your doing fine without out her but in a subtle way, try miss a few of her calls every now and agen,

i was with a bird we finished(everything thing was going great) first week i was chasing this only makes things worse, pushes her away, jus forget her till she calls act cool, like you dont need her and wat not, i done this and the girl called me up a month later asking me to come out, i sed nah im busy tired wat not, nex thing you know shes got a cab to me an come back to mine, not once did i mention sex, are bad past or act liek i needed her.

there was slim pickins for a while so i was banging a 5 ,she started acting weird---started making excuses not to meet up,excuses got more and more patethic--i didnt care she was expendible.

Ignored her calls 2 weeks and finally i used her for an experiment i always wanted to try---she got angry'' your with someone else,you used me ,bla bla bla,you were with her all along,your married and playing around'' [all her total paranoid crap']

So i tried this ----''Listen i wasnt and havent done the dirt on you ''[true but i didnt get the opportunity}

''but about a week ago my ex got in contact with me and wanted to try things again--i told her id think about it [TOTAL UNTRUTH]---and well since you were making excuses too not meet up i took it for granted that you werent interested''[TRUE]

SHE went AFC ''WHAT did you tell her''
ME ''I havent been in touch with her yet''
HER ''are you going back with her''
ME '' I havent decided yet''

Anyway complete turnabout---wanted to meet up all the time,jammed up my phone with her messages and missed calls all sucking up to me and worried that id get involved with my imaginary ex---i put up with it for 2 weeks and then she gave up---i just wanted rid of her for a finish--nuisance and a nutter--

lol good story Herne!

Same here, mine was basically a 5 (but a 8 body lol)

Wait did you lay her 1 final time though ????

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-- Jay --

No---I would have but her behaviour frightened me---and i figured the last bang could be a set up as in she saying it wasnt consensual or her pretending to be pregnant so i didnt go there

Oh DAMN yeah stay away then! Shit man.


by the way, perfect timing! my ex is coming back to me to be "fuck buddies"!
Woo Hoo! it ends up working just the way I wanted it!

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-- Jay --

Congratulations J.D well played and have lots a fun

Thank you Herne

I'm bringing a bottle of Riesling and we're watching scary movies saturday night.
She wants to test out some "grape" flavored lube I guess! I'll be a happy test subject.

For any other guys out there who want to hook up with an Ex, or even get back into the relationship, the best way is to STEP BACK. Once I did that...she started to want me again and says to me "it's like when we started dating.." Altho...we both don't want a relationship, so she shouldn't be a clinger at all

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-- Jay --