How to balance between being alpha and friendly?



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PostPosted: Sat Mar 20, 2010 12:50 am 
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How can I look alpha and still look friendly and be the sociable guy?

Most of the time people say someone is alpha in a movie, the guy is kinda cold and not really very sociable. He still gets the girl, but it's just a movie.

I don't know, but I think in real life, if you are sociable, friendly, the guy who introduces people, make them feel better, make their night more fun etc. that will get you much more results than trying to walk like a James Bond, or being as tough as Tyler Durden.


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 20, 2010 2:47 am 
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You are describing what some people call a delta male. One who stands on the side of the social ladder because of one of two reasons.

1. He does not wanna compete because he knows that he will lose.
2. He does not have to compete because he has already won.

I think thats just a cowardly beta and a trup alpha.

Anyways. Dont mix up the concepts about the alpha male. It is widely believed that alphas cannot be friendly and great nice guys. At least believed by newbies. Ask anyone of the experienced guys on here and they will tell you that of course you can be nice.

There is a big difference between giving up your power and sharing your leftover charisma. You dont give your entire paycheck to charity but you spare what you can to help others. Thats the way I see it.

It is like the matrix. Stop trying to hit me and hit me. Dont think that you are alpha, know that you are alpha. Thats the difference.

A fake alpha has to fight to prove his status over and over in every situation because if he doesnt he will lose his position. A true alpha don not need to compete with anyone. He has already won and has nothing to prove.

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PostPosted: Sat Mar 20, 2010 10:47 pm 
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I like the paycheck and charity metaphore, it does make sense.
But it's still tough to balance it out on the field, or in life in general. I think it would be better to err on the side of being too charismatic than being too "alpha" though.


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 21, 2010 1:11 pm 
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While you are out in the field, try to err on both sides. That makes it possible to in the long run better calibrate. Then you know what both feels like and you know if you stray too far on either side.

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I'm not trying to be a dick Ezo, but you're being a Pick Up Snob in my opinion.

bbardot: you just reminded me about porn


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 21, 2010 2:04 pm 
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alpha's' dont need comfirmation of there status by anybody.

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True communication is communion―the realization of oneness, which is love! ~ Eckhart Tolle


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