My biggest fears



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 Post subject: My biggest fears
PostPosted: Wed Mar 10, 2010 3:39 pm 
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My biggest fears are the fear of being humilliated and the fear of being vulnerable.

These fears go together well. The fear of being humilliated prevents me to approach girls as I would like. I think most people have this.

Then comes the fear of being vulnerable, which may be something unique and it kills my chance of getting a girl to like me. I think if I show a girl I'm interested in her, I will be vulnerable, naked. That's why most of the (few) times I created attraction successfully, still I couldn't get nowhere, because I never showed the girl that I was interested in her and lost the opportunity.

Needless to say I've never had a girlfriend, although I could have had in the past if I had just put aside the fear of being vulnerable.

I think the fear of being humilliated comes in A1, of the MM. And the fear of being vulnerable comes in A3, when I have to show IOI.

Are you familiar with these fears? What did you do to get over it? Probably the answer is just "just get in the field and do it", but it's much more easier said than done.


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 17, 2010 4:02 am 
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I am pretty much in the exact same boat as you man, however I don't fear humiliation as much.

It's just being vulnerable. I have missed out on SOO many opportunities even now I am pretty sure a girl is into me now from the signs she has been giving when I have seen her. Despite this I haven't shown any interest in her, not by choice, I really like her I just don't know how or what to do without screwing things up. I need help like you man!


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 18, 2010 9:50 pm 
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Hey bro, my biggest fear is feeling vulnerable as well. Although the fear of being made fun of is bad, I can get over it when I'm in state and from time to time.
But the fear of being vulnerable is with me wherever I go.

If you ever find a solution, talk to me. If anyone has an idea how to overcome it, please post.


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 Post subject: Re: My biggest fears
PostPosted: Sun Mar 21, 2010 11:17 am 
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Location: South Africa
Quote:
Are you familiar with these fears? What did you do to get over it? Probably the answer is just "just get in the field and do it", but it's much more easier said than done.
Think about it this way, Do you regret not showing those vulnerabilities now? After a night out, Do you regret not approaching that set? Based on your original post, my guess would be yes. There's your motivation. Think about the feelings you have now when those fears re-surface.

You won't get over them instantly. It's going to take some time. Get into the field. Start talking to people. You don't have to reveal every secret you have, just show people that they can relate to you and that you're a real person.

Good luck.


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 31, 2010 3:32 pm 
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You're only vulnerable if you let them. I personally use the direct approach, so I become vulnerable on a regular basis.

I think that it's very important, if you want to be an alpha, that you don't care if you screw up/humiliate yourself. You're alpha, you can't be humiliated. If you screw up, who cares? Only the AFC's think that it was bad to approach in the first place and that is why they'll stay miserable.

alpha-beyond-alpha-vt64763.html


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Mar 31, 2010 9:29 pm 
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"no one can make you feel inferior without your consent" - Elenor Roosevelt

repeat that shit over in over in your head. Stop respecting people's opinions, theyre just opinions that dont mean shit. Just keep telling yourself it doesnt matter what they think, only what you think. We all die one day, does it really matter what they thought of you in the end? no fucking way. The only person that can get you down is yourself. Dont let peoples fcked up opinions combined with negative thinking get to you, its not worth it man. We only get one chance on this planet, dont let others decide how you are going to live it.


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 03, 2010 7:35 pm 
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my biggest fear would be heights i guess, but i try to conquer this by doing daring shit like bungee jumping and skydiving, and practicing parkour, so that im more comfortable at higher planes...

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"Be the change you wanna see in the world" -Gandhi


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