winning the ex girlfriend - please notice the italics EDIT: I apologise on the length of this post

Right so i'm going to cut the bullshit and dive straight into this. Me and my girlfriend of just over 6 months split up last sunday (not the one just gone) and im gutted but over the last week or so i've figured out i lost my value and therefore lost my attraction which is going to be why the relationship ended.

We split up on the sunday with her reason being "i don't think i love you anymore" - bullshit reason i don't believe in that i know her feelings are still there for me and i won't have anyone else tell me differently, however have i become unattractive and stopped displaying the attractive behaviours i did at the start of our relationship? yes most likely i have.

She went on to say her head is a mess right now about going to university in september and work. I believe her. The thing is she went out on the saturday before we broke up with her mates a there was lads there, then obviously sunday came and the break up happened, then 3 days later she went to the cinemas with one of the lads she had been out with on the saturday but is still adamant that it was as friends and that she never cheated on me at the weekend and i strangely believe her, infact i don't think thats bothering me the most i don't know - sure its bothering me but im not sure its bothering me THAT much. Whats bothering me the most is i want my girlfriend back.

The two weeks before we split up on the sunday my life started to go through a rough period, my progress at university and work basically came to a major holt and i was feeling pressure from every angle, so for some reason my mind felt it would be a good idea to go in shitty immature moods with her - like sending 3/4 word texts and generally being off. Then obviously as we only saw each other 3 times a week i was getting more and more fustrated all the behaviours that aren’t attractive to women at all.

Sunday we split up was shit, i rang up her mate to try and get some answers - what i got mind fucked me to the point i've had insomnia, her best mate ripped into me saying i've treated her like shit bla bla - however when i quizzed my ex about it she said no i hadn't and that sarah (her best mate) doesn't know, she only knows about the bad things (so like when i went in them dumb moods and pathetic texting, she knows about this because they work together). Anyway we met up last thursday me and my ex, and to say i put all my eggs in one basket is a massive understatement.

If i go back to the valentines weekend we spent together, i refused to buy her a rose because i said that its well over done and cliché, we laughed and joked about it for the whole weekend with her teasing me about it. We went into tesco’s for stuff for me to make the sunday roast and there was a red heart balloon, so shes like if you’re not gonna get me a rose at least get me that balloon so i said ok fairs fair laughing and brought her the silly balloon.

Anyway the point of this is that on thursday when we met up after being with her a few hours i gave her a letter and her red heart balloon that had been left and mine, the letter basically saying loads of memories and good times and stuff about her teasing me about not buying her a rose for valentine’s day. The end of the letter read something like "i know it’s late but better late than never hey? Here is your rose you teased me about so much" i never wrote i love you in the letter at all just our little personal jokes and good memories we had, she loved it and said it was the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for her. I go on to start talking about thinking about maybe trying to sort things out and giving it a go that i can help her with things because i know theres no way her feelings have just changed like the flick of a light switch (don't bother telling me that could of because i know this girl and if that happens then no ones got a chance in relationships have they, it just doesn't work like that)

So i was saying all this stuff about being confident if we just gave it another shot she’d realise her feelings and she was just like i can't rich not right now. I didn't get angry or upset i was just like ok i understand. I walked her home and asked for a kiss, i got one and a hug and then she started to get really upset so i kissed her again and she said she was so sorry and that she didn’t ever mean to hurt me. Its best to note that while all this way going on she was adamant i haven't treated her like a piece of shit in fact her words "rich you only ever treated me like a princess" and fuck i know deep down i didn't treat her like shit but its just that bit of doubt thats been put in the back of my head.

So now we come to today and im suppose to be meeting up with her again tomorrow as mates and i really have no idea what direction i need to go in to "get her back" because ultimately thats what i want. Everything i read says i should not contact her as shes using me to get over the break up in this period but we've arranged we would meet up tomorrow and im thinking i should maybe meet her and try my fucking hardest to game her like i did at the start with new material?

I really don't know, i'm just asking for advice on what to do - do i meet up with her and game her senseless obviously as theres potentially someone else showing higher value than me SPAM wouldn't it be the best decision for me to meet up with her and try and show my higher value again?

Any constructive insight in appreciated.

Cheers.

Ok its as good as dead now, i've been out on the piss i rang her and she didn't answer so i rang her some more she did answer and she'd been to this lads place to "watch a film as mates" i've been bullshitted to the max but i suppose its my fault i don't think meeting up tomorrow is actually gonna happen now and i've just lowered my value to the point of no return nice one. If you want to know how not to get what you want and to be tossed out like an old magazine just come ask me for some advice.

peace.

The best thing you can do now is show contempt for what you can't have.

Sorry to hear that you are going through some rough times. We have all been there one time or another/ The best thing you can do is CUT ALL CONTACT. stop calling her for at least a month or so. When you do see her tell her she was right and the split was probably for the best. This is your best shot to get her back.

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~Carmo~

fuck my second post was self loathing or what, i was half pissed mind. Anyway i met up with her today with the mind set of "maybe we should go our seperate ways completely and not be friends" i actually said this to her and she got upset saying she still wants me to be her best mate. Obviously because it'll help her heal and thats not something i want to do, i don't want to be around for her every bec and call do i. Shes proper mind fucking me though, i brought up this lad shes "mates" with, i know not wise and it makes me look like a loser but she came out with "he doesn't make me laugh as much as you do" my reply simply, yeh well no one will ever make you laugh as much as me said with a smile of course.

We left on good terms and even though it started off sort of arguing and upsetting we ended up laughing and joking around and getting on like normal like literally completely normal like we were together. I know i need to literally cut all contact now because i've given myself another chance, she doesn't know im going to cut the contact and we left on good terms. This is where i need to be clinical and man the fuck up and not ring or text her. Just what do i do if she gets in contact with me?

Its good that you met up and were able to rebuild your respect and left on good terms. This is really much better place than whre you were in your last email. Cut all contact for a month. You will need this time to get your shit together anyway so that when you do start hanging out again you will have your life together and be more attractive. Get a copy of Matt Hounstons Ex2 system, it pretty much lays it all out for you.

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~Carmo~