problem in my brain or a normal thing?



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PostPosted: Mon Mar 15, 2010 2:22 pm 
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Now I am 20 years old, but in my early teenage years I was the typical nice guy, you know what that means. So I got very frustrated (AFC), being only a friend to all the girl I loved. I thought that I will never get a girlfriend.
After learning the world of PUA I gradually became much more confident in comparison to who I was. So now at 20 years my life is much better, I see that my value is higher and some girls are attracted to me, and I have a girlfriend (the same age with me) which loves me very much, and I know how to keep her and make her more attracted to me. But there is a problem:
She starts talking about her past long term relationships, without even asking her. At our first date she mentioned her ex. boyfriend. I am not gelous or something like this, but I feel frustrated when I know that she had 2 sexual parteners before me. And much more frustrated when I hear about her short adventures (about 1 day to a week with kisses only).
I know that she loves me only and past doesn't matter too much, only preset is important...but I feel like a loser(frustrated) thinking that she had about 2 sexual parteners, 3 boyfriend and something like 5 short adventures, because I didn't had a girlfriend before her, I was much weaker than know. She tells me that I am very strong (like character) an alpha male.
I feel like a wasted a big part of my life while she was having fun most of her life.
So is it normal to feel this irrational frustration? How can I get rid of these thoughts?


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 15, 2010 4:15 pm 
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Your "frustration" is the factor that you've been denying so far: Jealousy. And I don't blame you for it. Of course you're jealous when thinking that your girlfriend has been having all sorts of boyfriend and sex adventures before she got into a relationship with you.

And during that time - you were just a "nice guy" and "good friend" to women. So yes, it's very normal to feel this way. What you need to do is to look forward, not back. Imagine what you can do in the future, and not what you could have done in the past.

The past is the past. You're a different person now. That's all that needs to be said.


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PostPosted: Tue Mar 16, 2010 5:14 am 
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Dude, seriously? 20? You should be glad you're getting on top of this right now, since you're still pretty young, instead of waiting any longer. Heck, I was 23 last year (in your same previous situation of "nice guy" who girls were never interested in) when I started learning about this stuff and started changing myself around for the better.


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 17, 2010 1:31 pm 
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Thank you very much for your answers, I am feeling a little better now.


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 17, 2010 5:24 pm 
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It sounds like you've had an epiphany, now you realize that you want to have adventures with multiple partners before settling down with one girl. You feel as if you have missed out on a big part of your life, maybe you should consider taking a break from her and seeing other people.

I'm in a similar position to you, I'm 19 and now that I'm seeing massive progress a part of me feels like I've missed all the action especially in high school when guys were getting laid and I was studying and playing video games. My plan now is to play catch up and fuck as many girls as I can until I get bored and want to settle down.

Seriously ask yourself what you want and don't be afraid to lose her, your a PUA now. :wink:


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 18, 2010 9:17 am 
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You'll realize in a few years that you don't want to be with a virgin anyway. I went through a streak when I only wanted to date girls who were married, divorced, and already had kids. I didn't want them projecting irrational dreams on me about happily ever after with a white picket fence. I figured if they were already broken then I couldn't do them any more damage. It worked. :) but now I date a bunch of hot 21 year olds so go figure...

You seem like a good kid with good ideas. I respect that and really hope you have found a good girl. Don't hold her past against her though. If its in your head, she will perceive it in your words and become what you believe her to be. The damage that jealously causes is irreparable. She'll end up in the arms of someone who is a lot more forgiving (or whatever else she wants us to be).

Learn from those of us who have failed. I wish you the best man.


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 18, 2010 12:31 pm 
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This is just an Inner game issue, ive been there and to a certain extent still am. Your the guy shes with now and just because you dont have a colorful past doesnt mean that everybodys gonna be like that.

You will get over this, just dont dwell on these things cos if you let them they will destroy you and your relationship.


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 18, 2010 6:04 pm 
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who cares about the past ....... maybe invest in the present moment so you get a better future?

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PostPosted: Thu Mar 18, 2010 6:29 pm 
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i'm 21 and still quite new, but i love sarging now, and i dont want a LTR for the next 10-15 years, if love happens great. but if i can master the pick-up arts (which i will in time) my life will be one great adventure :)

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PostPosted: Fri Mar 19, 2010 1:36 am 
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Focus on what you can do. If you're upset because your girlfriend has had other experiences, there's not shit you can do about that. Don't show any interest when she brings them up, just grunt a response. If she gets annoyed, then just tell her you'd prefer to focus on the present because you think she's in a much better place now. Past relationships always tend to look better when the bad parts fade out. There's a reason these people aren't in her life anymore.


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 20, 2010 7:14 am 
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I know that I shouldn't be interested in her past, but when she starts talking about her ex boyfriend, about how he cheated her, how bad were some things I am starting to put more and more questions. I become curios. Then I ask her (for example) how many guys have you kissed? She asked 20 counting every game we played (games involving kissing), or a number like 5 to 10 without games. And I became feeling very frustrated. So I can't get rid of this feelings too easy.

I know she loves me very much, she does everything for me, and everything I ask (like in sex, cooking, washing dishes etc.) and almost everyday she cries saying "I don't want you to leave me", or saying to me that I am the best man that ever was in her life.


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 Post subject: AFC in the past
PostPosted: Wed Jun 02, 2010 10:38 am 
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I decided that I should speak even more about myself, helping others to learn from my experiences, and also I hope others can help me with good advice.
I told you that I am frustrated when my gf talks about her past. And now she asked me about my past, because I was talking to her about LJBF thing that a guy can get from a girl. She said "this happened to you, right?" at first I didn't give her a response. She insisted saying that she told me about her past everything and I should do the same. And I started telling her what an AFC I was with all the girls. I even told her in detail about my last oneitis and LJBF that I got from a girl(this started a year before meeting her, and finished about 6 months before I met her), because I was a ass-kisser, low value, being too available, calling too much etc., AFC in one word with that girl, how I orbitated about 1 year around a girl and I had zero succes.


So I don't know what to think. Is it bad to tell her things like this(being an AFC in the past)?

She said that for her it would work if I am too avalaible, or call too much, and she was very sad because she said "You never treat me so well like you treated that girl", she even started to cry.


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 03, 2010 10:43 am 
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You know, it's one thing to say, "I was really confused in highschool." It's another thing to say, "I was really confused in highschool. I always wore a trench coat. I had a subscription to Soldier of Fortune. I cut myself during class. I threw a mentally handicapped kid down the stairs." It's good that you were honest with your girlfriend that you weren't a lady's man, but you DLV to hell by going into detail. In the back of her mind, she now has a seed that says, "If this guy is so horrible with women, what's wrong with me that I'm with him and like him?" Know when to go into detail and when to be vague. Your work now is to emphasize that the person you described is an OLD, DEAD version of you, that's really a complete stranger to who you are now. Even let her know if she had met you then, she never would have liked you. If she really thinks an AFC version of you is better, maybe you should try it out for fun.


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 03, 2010 7:03 pm 
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I told her that now I am 180 degrees different then I was in highschool.
I told her that I was a shy guy, she keeps telling me that she likes the shy type.
She also tells me that I rarely tell her that I love her and so on.
It's like she is inviting me to be an AFC for her, to know that I love her much more.


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 03, 2010 7:46 pm 
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Yeah its normal, I do the same thing.

To be honest, I wish I learned about the game back in high school. I would have probably had alot more health relationships. but it happens, you have to get over your mindstate and get a new one.

you got the girl, don't worry about what your life could have been.

your only putting "what if's" in your head. it happens, but get them out of your head and focus on what matters.

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