I'm new to the forum so don't blame if I get the lingo a little wrong.

So I arrive at a bar by myself just waiting for one of my buddies to get off a work and join me and I start talking to the very attractive bartender. So everything is going good were connecting and she’s ignoring the other customers to talk to me so I know she’s into it and I’m feeling pretty good. She’s giving me her life story her work schedule and everything else under the sun and I’m playing it cool just being nonchalant. Bar gets busier, my friend shows up, she continues coming by in-between getting drinks and I figure hey might as well #close. So I say hey why don’t I get your number, and she grabs a pen and starts writing it down, when she says by the way I have a boyfriend. Now my first thought was like I care (which is what I should have stuck with) but I went with my second thought, which was to say as she was handing it to me, you know what tear that up and I’ll stop in next week see if you still want to give me that number. Which she does.

Was that smooth and should I stop in when ever I feel the need to kill time or did I stroke it and should stay away so I don’t look like an idiot.

Lame. But I'll tell you why.

She was the beginning of her reverse-rationalization. This is part of her ASD. She wants you to know that she has a BF and that if anything that happens between you it will be all your fault(because you know she has a bf).

So can you recover? Yes. Why? Because when you told her to rip her number up you essentially hit the 'RESET' button. But realize if you want to pursue her you're going to have to start from square-one again because a week apart has lost any 'attraction' you created.

As well, be carefull when you start up again as your second attempt automatically conveys interest to her. So your starting at a loss there. Also, now that you know she has a bf, brush up on your boyfriend-destroyers.

Solid advice Holden.

Go back, convey little interest in her, but be friendly about it. Nonchalant as you were before. If she is engaging you in conversation again, then get her number.

However, I wouldn't have ripped up the number in the first place. It could work, but its risky and not really necessary. She already gave you the number, why make yourself have to obtain it again. Just doesn't make sense. You can certainly still recover though, just play it cool and you'll be fine.

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Amor est Vitae Essentia

on the plus side. you deffinately conveyed the idea that you were in no way desperate for her number. quite the opposite in fact. i like what u did and i find more often than not, when u take risks you get results

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-rook

Worst comes to worst I'm sure you can milk some free drinks out of her...

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"In all things be a master.
Of what you do, say and think." -Buddha

Lame. It’s an unnecessary complexity to your game. Next time you go in there take a few (female) friends with you and let her notice that you’re having a good time. That should even things up when you # close.

I would have taken her number and noted the ASD comment about her bf or used a bf destroyer. Let’s hope she remembers you when you go back in. If she mentions her bf again, just don’t ask her to rip up the number again

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Trying to evolve

her ASD, definitely kicked in...


and by ripping it up you ethier made a great decision or a rookie mistake... im anxious to see what happens when you go back... and YES U R GOING BACK...


and worst comes to worst i like rythmns idea, get a free drink or two out of her...

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SHURGS




add me on myspace www.myspace.com/jshurgs

Not a bad try buddy...When you see her again play it cool stick with what worked before and remember what you learned.